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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to point public?!

51 replies

pregnantpause · 22/08/2014 16:20

I have ibs. It sucks. I can manage my symptoms now thankfully, but in the past, on times, many times in fact, I have been caught short in public/ in work. It's embarrassing, but nothing I could do about.

Today in work someone had pooed. No mess but very smelly. Cue a discussion amongst the team that it's 'disgusting' to poo in work, and they never would! One even said 'I have ibs and I'd never poo in public!' ( funny type of ibs where your symptoms have always been so manageable that you've never been caught outHmm)

I argued that well, you know- shit happens. Everyone now thinks I'm the pooer. But seriously- ten out of eleven people swearing blind that they've never and would never have a poo outside of home?! I seem in the minority here? Aibu to poo in work?

( btw I am not the pooer- there's over a thousand people in the building so could be anyone)

OP posts:
polomoomin · 22/08/2014 18:47

A symptom of IBS is chronic constipation so very possible IBS person was telling the truth.

I've never gone in public in my life ever. Never gone in a house other than my own. Stayed with friends for days as a teenager and held it in the whole time. It felt like my stomach was going to explode but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. Even when I stayed at my DGM house I would only go if the tap was running to give the impression I was washing my face for five minutes? Hmm

I'm a bit of a poop prude I guess. I couldn't handle the idea of someone stood outside the cubicle knowing I was crapping and then the 'walk of shame' out of the cubicle. I remember being in a public toilet once that only had two cubicles and it was a busy Saturday afternoon so toilet was packed. My friend was in one cubicle clearly having a shit, must have been in there for a good ten minutes and held the queue up plus stunk the place out. I was even embarrassed for her walking out.

I do now have bad constipation probably from holding it in for days in the past. Doctors always insist it's lack of fibre but I'm a vegetarian, fibre is my middle name Wink. I know it's from my own prudish behaviour. Stupid really! I'm ashamed to poo. I wish it was something we didn't have to do tbh.

HaveTeaWillSurvive · 22/08/2014 18:48

I used to try and avoid it but then I gave birth - worrying about pooing in a toilet cubicle after having a dozen people stare at your bits while you swear like a trooper seems a bit ridiculous!

I have a similar 'don't give a fuck attitude to nakedness now too - makes gym/pool/gp visits much less stressful

vanillavelvet · 22/08/2014 19:01

Polo, I feel a bit like you. I would LOVE to go for a crap in any toilet anywhere and be comfortable with it. If I'm staying elsewhere/ on a camping holiday etc. I usually hold it in as long as I can and then sneak to the toilet in the dead of night when everyone else is sleeping.

I hate it. It can consume a lot of time and effort holding it all in until the 'time is right'. I wish I could go and not care who could hear/ smell etc.

MissDuke · 22/08/2014 19:10

I work shifts and it plays havoc with my bowels! When I am working, I end up missing my daily poo for a few days until I am off again. When I am off, I go at the same time everyday, but when in work I just don't get time to even think about it. If I had the time and the urge then I maybe would in work, if I really had to.

NoArmaniNoPunani · 22/08/2014 19:15

I reckon the smelly pooer was the person who was most vociferous in their claim that they don't poo at work.

I poo at work, I'm there for 8 hours.

deakymom · 22/08/2014 19:20

ive had a food intolerance for years if i accidentally eat what im intolerant to ive got to go! i tend to flush and go to minimise the smell (and sound) but apart from that i can do nothing about it Sad

there is one lady who uses the public toilets to poo around 11am every day it utterly stinks and you hear people (who are local) moaning they cant use "those toilets" until 12 (after the cleaner has been in) she has been doing it for years

MsRinky · 22/08/2014 19:21

Good grief. I had no idea people (or it it just women?) were so weird about this. I'd rather poo at work than in my own time - I'm getting paid there! Why on earth would using a toilet for the purpose for which it was designed be shameful?

Having said that, whilst my waste products don't smell of roses, they don't stink either and I'm not in there straining away for minutes at a time. If it was like that I'd be looking to improve my diet and/or seeking medical advice.

Poofus · 22/08/2014 19:24

I have IBS and for me, pooing in public means behind a tree or a bush, in a field or a ditch. And yes, I've done all of those (as well as at work) many, MANY times since the IBS started. Any hang-ups I had about bodily functions are now long, long gone!

unlucky83 · 22/08/2014 19:30

DM has issues - and wouldn't poo in public loos ...so I feel uncomfortable ...so would hold it etc as much as I could.
However I have managed not to pass this on to my DC - they will go anywhere. My DM was so embarrassed and angry with me when a just toilet trained DD1 did a poo in the public loos and loudly told me to look what a good poo she'd done Grin
DP will poo anywhere - says he can't hold it ....and he is incredibly stinky
He embarrassed me when an estate agent was showing us round an immaculate house. I already knew it wasn't the right house for us and was trying to leave. He asked to use the loo (upstairs)...apparently there was no air freshener (clutter tidied away) and he discovered the bathroom window wouldn't open - the stench followed him downstairs and just wouldn't dissipate Blush. I thought it made it harder to leave. So we continued having this stilted conversation about what kind of offer we might like to make etc ... ignoring the elephant in the room Blush

avidlounger · 22/08/2014 19:33

One of my son's didn't go for 2 weeks because we went on holiday! That's when I found out because he has at least 3 a day at home. I was amazed at his staying power. Neither me nor his dad only go at home or his siblings; toilets and poo are frequent and not uncomfortable discussions in our busy house

I will happily use public toilets as long as they are not in a state. I don't know how anyone can hold in for so long

BoiledPiss · 22/08/2014 20:04

This reply has been deleted

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Jengnr · 22/08/2014 20:10

I don't care who poos or not at work.

But there is a special place in hell reserved for the dirty fuckers who leave skiddies and floaters in the toilet there. Grim.

firesidechat · 22/08/2014 20:11

I have mild ibs and if I have an attack then there is no controlling it and have to find the nearest loo fast. If that's at work then so be it. That person does not have ibs.

And this says it all:

I poo when the need arises no matter where I am. Doesn't bother me. That's what toilets are for?! Doesn't bother me what other people do in there either. It's totally natural. So long as you don't make a mess, I can't understand why anyone would care! Get the poo out and enjoy the rest of your day feeling comfortable and happy!

Thanks Monstrous.

firesidechat · 22/08/2014 20:12

Noooooo!

That's nasty Boiled.

Oh my eyes!

Brodicea · 22/08/2014 20:17

I have had similar conversations at work and I really sense a weird pride in being too uptight to poo at work / in public loos. It's so weird that people should see that it is somehow more proper to not poo in public. Surely it's worse to back yourself up and risk a touch of cloth.

HappyAmbler · 22/08/2014 20:18

Yes jengr, I can't believe women in my floor at work don't check before leaving the cubicle! The worst thing is, realising after you've locked the doot that someone's left a nasty skid. I have to use the bog brush to clean it up cos I wouldn't want the next person to think it was me!

Brodicea · 22/08/2014 20:21

Ha happy I am worried about people thinking I have left a skitter! So I will clean up after others.

There did used to be a mystery person at my work who would do massive tree trunk poos which were, literally (and I mean that literally), the same width as the exit hole in the bottom of the toilet. Why this person didn't at least 'put it to bed' with a piece of toilet roll I have no idea.

Brodicea · 22/08/2014 20:21

*skidder not skitter

pluCaChange · 22/08/2014 21:04

I'm trying to train my 6yo NOT to hold it in! I had no idea adults (apart from those with bowel problems) held it in. That's quite sad, really. Sad

And your work colleagues need to grow up and actually do some work rather than giggling about poo smells like bullying wankers.

ApocalypseNowt · 22/08/2014 21:05

I poo at work. I like to think i'm being paid for it Grin

wafflyversatile · 22/08/2014 21:16

I have IBS but very rarely find myself in a position where I urgently have to go. IBS is different for everyone. I usually easily manage not to go at work but if I need to go then I go.

Pipbin · 22/08/2014 21:54

I don't get why some people seem to feel the need to pretend they never shit. We all do it even the Queen.

I have pooed at work before.

SquinkiesRule · 22/08/2014 22:22

I'm a nurse, in a ward filled with IBS and chrons patients having surgery. The stories some tell of getting caught short are awful and embarrassing. It's not something they can help. After working here I no longer care about pooing in a public loo I'll do it if need be and smells don't bother me any more.

Passmethecrisps · 22/08/2014 22:27

They were honestly discussing this? How awful!

I am a reluctant work-pooer but I have total respect for others who use the loos for their function - peeing and pooing!

The nearest cubicle to my work office often has very smelly poo left-overs and my only thought is ever "hmm, that person has troubled bowels. That must be tricky"

I cannot imagine in a million years bribing this up publicly in a sort of poo shaming - do they shit diamonds?

HouseofEliot · 22/08/2014 23:28

I have crohns and cannot wait I have had many accidents. I will use any toilet available.

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