Dear children...

[YoureAllABunchOfBastards]

You have been taken to the seaside today. You have had a lovely time - or you could have done if you hadn't moaned at every opportunity - that only one of you wanted to go on the big slide, that the walk to the beach was too long, that we had to leave the park too soon, that you were not allowed more sweets after you had had an ice cream each.

Now we are home and you have been asked to amuse yourself without fighting for fifteen minutes so I can have a cup of tea and piss about on MN.

AIBU to ask you to just shut the fuck up and leave me alone? Yes, I am, which is why I am writing it down here rather than saying it out loud. Cause I am seconds away, and if you start twanging those bastard loom bands at each other you are likely to hear some new vocabulary from an incredibly knackered and pissed off mother....

AIBU to ask you to just shut the fuck up and leave me alone? Yes, I am,

No you're not

Well obviously omit the 'fuck', but a firm "Mum's having a cup of tea and a rest, so go and amuse yourselves" is definitely in order

This is exactly why the television was invented

YANBU.

god tell them obviously without thefuck . I got back at 2 and my 2 have been doing their own thing since then as Im lying on the floor on my netbook.

They will learn all the bad language they need at school. How old are they?

"AIBU to ask you to just shut the fuck up and leave me alone? Yes, I am"

No you're not. And depending on the age of the youngest, you can leave the swearing in too. Sometimes a shock is needed.

High Five You're!
Wouldn't recommend the fruity language can relate to your frustration,
thought it was just me that was loosing the will to live, but no you're out there somewhere too, feeling my angst, lol.
We have nearly finished this epic period of parenting, back to work, back to school, thank goodness, I am on your side mate, as long as you're on mine!

YANBU and I agree with Edith sometimes they need a shock!

I think any parent should after beach, constructive play, any crafts, be able to call a Government nanny (who looks and sounds like Julie Andrews) and just go to bed, having won parenting for that day. I put in so much effort, which descends into anarchy. We should be able to rest on our laurels a small amount.

I took a 16 year old shopping for £200 worth of new clothes. It was 4 hours of being very, very patient while the princess moaned about clothes not being exactly what she wanted.

When she complained at the end of the trip that we'd not had cake I did tell her to shut the fuck up and further fruity language as I was basically all out of patience and I'd bloody wanted cake too and we would have had it if she hadn't been just desperate to visit one last shop that would definitely have one last crappy article of skull infested clothing with chains on.

She did shut up.

Thanks cankles

I feel rather better for that - as I told a teenager recently (after half a day of gradual crescendo of disagreeableness) that he was being an unmitigated little shit and if he didn't buck up and sort his ideas out, then XYZ (ie circumstance specific penalty). He was slightly stunned and very quiet for at least 20 minutes.

I have had a shit parenting day also, but thankfully, because mine started at 5am, it finished at 5.30am with a toddler who fell asleep mid-protest that he was not tired and would... not... go... t..... zzzzzzzzzzzz

However i am also pregnant, so went to bed shortly afterwards to watch iplayer and piss around on MN

5.30pm. Not am. obvs

They are 7 and 5 so not quite ready for shut the fuck up. They got sod off, and then DH walked in so I delegated tea time to him.

I do love them but some days....fucking hell.

OP your post made me laugh out loud. This is one of those 'fucking hell' days for me too. My two teenagers, 15 and 17, have been so rude to me all week, haven't done a tap of housework and went beserk when I called them on it. The only upside is that they are not speaking to me now (heaven). The two of them without so much as a 'hello mum' texted me to ask if I could order tickets for a music festival for them this weekend. Laughable! I have ignored them completely. At least your are still cute at 7 and 5! Enjoy your evening.