to punish the three of them..?

[WillWorkForMoney]

Just noticed one of the dc (4,6 +10) have drawn a line all the way up the bannister in biro. No one is admitting it and in my eyes it could be any of them. So I've said no electronics until whoever did it cleans it off. So far none have cleaned it. What would you do in my position?

willwork we have a HA house and that settling in call isn't to look at how you're keeping the place. It's to ask you if you're happy etc and to see that you are ok with practical stuff.

The HA will largely leave you alone after that....they never inspect.

I'm beginning to think I had very 'hippy' parents, even though they weren't. They had faults as all but 'punishing' me wasn't somthing they went in for, I'm glad to say.

I'm really close to my siblings but if I had to get punished every time one of them did something naughty and didn't own up, I think I would have ended up hating them really.

Don't be silly. It happened with my father and he's close to all his siblings.

It happened to me and my brother a couple times too, and yes it just ended in a row because my brother refused to admit guilt, so the next time I did something I refused to as well.

It doesn't curb the behavior though. Once they figure out that doing something gets all of them in trouble, they might find getting them innocently punished enticing.

I found biro stick men all over our cream sofa once. All three DCs denied it, until I looked closely and realised DD1's name was written several times. She went very quiet. Luckily, it all came off in the wash.

Note to graffiti artists - don't sign your handiwork.

Child psychology comes into play - you just need to apply it. I know I didn't do it and I'm damned if I am going to get punished for it..........a mother can tell the difference between that and lying (or should be able to).

One of my friends has 2 young boys, one of whom can write and the other of whom can't. She was half cross and half impressed when the one who can write wrote in crayon on the wall but signed it with the other one's name...

I would reward the 4yr-old for helping to clean it off. He/she didn't do the drawing but still tried to help to get rid of it.

I only have one Dc but not sure if I'd hold all of them accountable if only one did it - seems a bit unfair and not really encouraging good behaviour if you're going to get punished anyway ?!?
I might have given them a few hours to come clean before punishment took place and hope sibling pressure kicked in

I would also reward the youngest for trying to help remove it.

"a mother can tell the difference between that and lying (or should be able to)."

Really

Watching with interest.

I have still yet to find out which one of my three kicked the football indoors that smashed a window.

YANBU dd drew her name on her wooden furniture it wasnt her though
I gave her sand paper to get it off and rubbed wax to match the rest.I was so bloody cross

Stick to your guns...one of them will break...sit back and wait .

Dd3 is 4.5 and the most convincing liar. I dont know where she gets it from, as the other 2 never went through this phase. The other day I watched her do something (cant remember what now) then a while later I asked "who's done ?" And if I hadnt saw her with my own eyes I would never have suspected her, she was so convincing.

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I don't think it's a major thing and I'm glad it's all sorted but I was just thinking that I agree with Worra. I don't like group punishments and I never do them with my class (different to home I know). Dds final year at primary school was awash with continual whole class punishments and as a quiet, sensible kid it really upset and demotivated her.

Cromer

Actually I don't think that it is any different, I have seen the outcry on threads where teachers have kept in the whole class or groups of children when various pupils haven't done anything.

I used to walk past an old Victorian house with "poo" and "wee" written in marker pen on the window.
The "children" were both in their 20s, I like to think their parents were playing the very long game when it came to punishment!