In thinking that no one can be truly objective?

[Bouttimeforwine]

It's funny from which angle people approach from, and which bits of an op people pick up from.

I read a few red flags but that is tempered by positive aspects of an op.
So my though process is yes, that sounds worrying but.... We need more information regarding the red flags. In real life it has been commented that I tend to sit on the fence and see both sides to a situation, sometimes too much.

Others see red flags then make assumptions without seeing the other positive points in a post. Others only see the positives and they are oblivious to the red flags.

Is everybody projecting their own life experiences? Can none of us look at a situation truly objectively?

Why for some people is it black and white, when really there are several shades if grey?

It's truly interesting why people pick up on different points of the same post.

It amazes me the viewpoints of some people. It has sometimes opened my eyes but it has also made me think there are some very weird people out there.

Aibu in thinking that it is impossible to be completely objective when reading a post and many people are just plain weird ?

Yanbu.

It's impossible to be objective when you only have one side of a story, which is all you're ever going to get from a post on an Internet forum, which is why it always amazes me when people come out with LTB so quickly. It's so small minded!

You can be objective if you don't give a shit. Not caring gives clarity.

of course, since people almost always bring their own baggage to a situation and relate someone else's situation to some event in their own life and therefore have a bias - perhaps an injustice in their past never resolved, or a case of the 'wish I'd said' s - true objectivity is hard to find.

You have to really, truly have zero interest in any of the people or in the situation in order to be able to coldly and objectively assess it.

That's my opinion anyway, I expect to be disagreed with

People pick up on different things from any text.

I think it's wrong to say it must be "projecting". I think there are all sorts of reasons for different interpretations of a text - whether it's a whodunit, a soap plot, testimony at a trial or a MN post.

I've seen notes from a work meeting that were so far at variance with what I thought had been discussed that I wondered if I'd even been in the same meeting!

"infinite variety" is a good thing, to me at least.

I think most people's responses are going to be tempered by your life experiences. I think it's almost impossible not to be.

Using a relationship question as an example, say one of those "DH isn't home at 4am" posts, your first reaction will probably always be a knee-jerk reaction relating to reasons why your OH or ex-OH wouldn't be home at 4am. So you're going to come out with flat battery and kipping at mates's place, cheating, accident etc if one of those has happened to you.

You can add a level of objectivity to your opinion, but I reckon it is hard to be completely objective, unless it is something you have had absolutely no experience of and so your opinion isn't coloured by experience.

But the fact that everyone comes at it from their angle is what can make posting on MN helpful. Because then you get lots of different perspectives.
There are some things I think I can be objective over, there are other things I know I am not. It doesn't make my experience less valid when I'm not being objective, or even less helpful.
If everyone is posting YABU, you probably are!

Indeed. Perspective is everything.

If the doors of perception were cleansed, we would see the world as it truly is - infinite...

I think it is possible to be truly objective but not many people are able to achieve it. For most of us, our life experiences will colour our views of the OP's post content and we will link things the resonate with our own experience to the causes that we know about. But the wider our own experience, then the more causes we have knowledge of - and that can bring more objectivity.

The sort of responses that get completely on my wick are the ones that go "Well I've never had xyz happen/heard of anyone doing xyz/seen that so therefore you're lying/got it wrong/don't know what you're talking about". People who are unable to expand their minds to accept that other people can experience things that are outside their own small box are very annoying.

What dewee said.

Even with trivial things, you post from your own experiences.
For example, when ds was younger, I was always vehemently against any suggestion of TVs in bedrooms. As my other dc have got older, I realise the issue with non-stop TV watching / inability to turn it off or follow rules about not watching it at 2am, weren't the fault of the tv, but were down to ds's personality, and, if I'd had dd1 as my eldest, I'd have been FAR more relaxed about it.
Same with fussy eaters. Pre-dc, I did generally think they were made, not born. Then dc 2 came a long.....

You could go on and on - I often think that when there are threads about allowing your dc to walk to the shop or be left alone at this age or that age - I have 3 dc, and the answer would have been completely different with each of them. If you only have one dc though, or both of yours are similar, you tend to start from the perspective of what your dc are like.

That's why it's interesting to have people post from all sorts of perspectives - allows you to see things from a different pov if you are open to it.