Step daughters - is situation ridiculous or am I being unreasonable??

[belsn10]

I live with my partner, my daughter (18 years) and his two daughters (18 & 15 years).

Firstly - my partners 18 year old tends to lie, not saying that Im perfect (though I dont normally lie unless for good reason), however she will take something of someone elses room in the house and then say she didnt etc. Then when finally admitting she did take it, wont apologise.

Next - I know its holiday time but; on Wednesday night my partners 15 year old (going into year 10 in September), tells her Dad she is going to a party and may be back late but she has her key. At 03.11 on Thursday my partner receives text messages to say she cant get back in, 30 mins or so later we hear her arrive with a friend, however when I go down to check I believe there another friend hiding in her bedroom. Later she admits two friends stayed in her room and girl and boy for the rest of the night!!

Thursday night my partners older daughter is out with friends when we go to bed at say 22:00, my daughter and his 15 year old daughter are in their rooms. I get up for a glass of water before 01:00 today (Friday morning) to hear both my partners daughters coming home. His elder daughter then goes back out. I go to talk to his younger daughter and she tells me her sister came back to take her out and she has been drinking alcohol.

Isnt this getting a little out of hand?? Thoughts / advice would be extremely welcome, and if I am unreasonable please do tell me I think this is ridiculous!!

What does your partner think?

While it is a pain, sounds normal to me!

15 years old and out till 3 am?! I'd completely lose my temper at that. There is late and there is too late! Sneaking people in isn't on either.

I'd be very upset about it all too op. What does your dh say?

Am I going nuts or is this a duplicate thread.

If it goes against rules you've previously set out, then YANBU. I lived with my mum and stepdad, and was allowed to go out as often as I liked and come back whenever, but only when I was over 18. From the age of around 18-19 my mum asked me to be home by 1am, so I did. I didn't drink before I turned 18 though (I accept this is probably unusual but I'm not a big drinker), and think a 15 year old drinking unsupervised is a bad idea.
They didn't want anyone of the opposite sex staying over either, which was fine too, their house and all that.

I think your partner needs to make it clear their behaviour is unacceptable too, otherwise they'll unfairly view you as the mean one and probably keep doing it.

What would concern me too, OP, is you and your partner being disturbed by the noise. That's the one thing I always tried not to do - wake parents up when coming in late! When I was a student I could go out on some weekdays but with them working full-time I always made sure I came in quietly. Although mum would usually wake up anyway because she says she never really slept properly when I was out due to that mum thing of just worrying about me subconsciously.

I had no problems, my upbringing wasn't at all strict, and I was allowed to do pretty much anything I wanted, within reason.

Fifteen year old staying out till three in the morning? I know it's the school holidays but in my opinion that's totally unacceptable. Still, every family has its own rules and even choose to have some to ensure the safety and well-being of the youngest. If your own family has no rules, then that's your choice. If you do have rules and are choosing not enforce them then you only have yourselves to blame. Going from a position of "no rules" to "these rules" and expecting them to be respected suggests you will be on a hiding to nothing.

Silly I was thinking the same

Had a look on 2nd page Havana and it's got about 15 replies there. Glad I wasn't losing the plot just yet, lol.

Well... I couldn't possibly go to sleep if my 15yo DD was out, was due back at some point (even if it was late because we would have discussed what time 'late' was) and at 3am was still not home. So it sounds too much AFAIC.

Wow I am surprised some people think this is typical teenage behaviour. I would have been going spare if my DD had been staying out until 3am.

But OP - what does your DP think. This isn't something you can tackle unless he agrees with you

You posted this this morning - why the re-post?