To have just let this one go...

[Godcreatedcricket]

MN etiquette, I am a first time poster. But (far too often!) lurker.

At London zoo today and my DD aged 4 left her small penguin (brought along from home and this type not sold at the zoo) at a bench we were sitting at. Once we realised she'd left it we went straight back (10 minutes at the most). It wasn't on the bench but her brother spotted a child holding an identical one. I asked the mother if she'd just found the penguin. "Oh no. Sorry". At this stage my daughter is now in floods of tears.
I asked again "Are you sure you haven't just found that penguin at the benches?"
"Oh no. We weren't at the benches"
I had seen the older man of the group on the bench smoking when we went to check.
I did not want to make a scene (which I'm perfectly capable of doing!) so "believed" them. The penguin was clearly my DD's.
I should mention, the child who had the penguin was in a wheelchair.

So was IBU to just let it go? Should I have got irate and demanded it back for my crying child. In the great scheme of things... Finders keepers losers weepers...?

CCTV? :)

I wouldn't have asked, I would have just taken it and said "Oh thank you for finding DD's penguin!" What does the wheelchair have to do with anything? It doesn't exempt people from the rules.

But in the future, get a permanent marker and write your daughter's names on the tags or bottom of toys. There's a reason Toy Story toys had Andy's name on them.

There's not a lot you can do about it now so just let it go. As annoying as it is.

Next time it's better not to bring anything - a hard lesson we've all had to learn at one time or another. We've lost all sort of things on days out because the kids left them somewhere, only for someone to take it before we got back.

Not that long ago an Mner started a thread like this but it was a scooter that had been stolen and they were at the Zoo.

I probably would have done what you did, given that the alternative (having a massive row with another family which still may have ended up with no penguin) would have ruined the day for me and my DC. I am going to follow the tip about marking toys that we take out with us in future.

There must have been more than one penguin made. That penguin could have be bought from home. Only was is if CCTV or if your penguin had a name in it.

I did this on the beach once. DS lost his red spade after a dip in the sea, then pointed to a child sat next to our sand castle holding his spade. I asked the mother whether it was her son's and she said yes (I find people borrow stuff on the beach a lot so I wouldn't have minded if he'd borrow it). I stood there for a moment wondering what to do. I asked was she sure and she said yes, definitely it was her son's spade. Then DS found his identical spade buried under the sand.

Just saying!

It's a shame if she was being dishonest, especially as your DD was crying for her beloved toy but sadly, you have no proof. They could have had the same toy for years. I really don't think the child being in a wheelchair is relevant - not all additional needs are visible like that. Its nasty if the mum was using the childs disability to go for the sympathy vote and assume no one would kick up a fuss.

Find them again and do what Tiki said.

Way to tell if your penguin missing from bottom line.

Am not sure you could have done much more to be honest, other than physically take it out of the girl's hands which am sure most people wouldn't have the nerve to do.

It's a pity. Can you source a replacement? My dd lost a much-loved rabbit when she was tiny. I bought an exact same one and then put it to sit on the front step to greet her when she came home from nursery. Her face was an absolute picture!

Where did you get the penguin from? Maybe we help you find another one to replace it.

It's a tough one but I guess not much you could have done. The mum could have been lying or her child could have the exact same penguin by coincidence. I agree for future outings mark everything.

Thanks guys.
Ordinarily I would've just bounded up saying something like..."Thanks for finding miniGodcreatedcricket's penguin". Not on the ball today! And then I was surrounded by the entire family, thought it best not to start a row.
Agreed her wheelchair should've had no baring on things. And yep I'll be labelling the arse of every toy that comes on outings in future.
It was a newish one so not her favourite and placated with a beanie baby so all forgotten about. Ah, the fickle four year old.
Cheers.

I thought you were going to talk about farts

Hee hee, I do love letting one rip.

and blaming the dog again

My mil says she's venting....

You did the right thing really. Unless you were prepared to front up and ask for it back with gushing gratefulness.

Your comments about the wheelchair were kind of unnecessary although imply if it were not a disabled child you would have been more insistent.

For what it's worth, dd once lost her most favourite bear. We backtracked and retraced our steps. Eventually returning to the supermarket. A child in a wheelchair had found her bear and handed it in to Customer services after having been up and down the supermarket to find the owner (slightly irritating as we must have literally missed each other by an aisle on our first search). We were just grateful to get the damned thing back and bear is now only allowed out of the house if he stays in the car.

Someone took ds3s jessie last week while we were on holiday, he cried on and off all night.

What sort of parent allows their dc to keep something that isnt theirs and that another child might be very attached to