to worry about going off on mat leave after accepting new job?

[whootwhoot]

To be clear, I am not pregnant yet but dh and were hoping to start ttc #1 after Christmas. We are very recently married and I am 37 so time not really on my side! I have always been quite career focused and have landed an excellent new job with the help and support of a mentor who has coached me over the last few years and I will now be working directly for this woman. She is great - pulls no punches, gets things done and has no patience for timewasters. She has a fearsome reputation but I really admire her strength and what she has achieved and she also has a reputation for really supporting those she believes in. There were 20 odd other applicants for the job and I had to fight off some fierce competition to land it. Of course I am delighted. In our first meeting in my new role, I told her how pleased I was and she said "just don't go off on mat leave now and leave me in the lurch!". She said it jokingly but I am in no doubt she meant it. She is single, no kids, chose career over kids and I respect her decisions. She has been very supportive so far and while I am confident in my abilities I doubt I would have gotten to this level so quickly without her looking out for me. Of course I am not going to put off ttc because of a job....you never know how long it will take. But I feel quite guilty. AIBU to even worry about it?

She could have moved on herself within 12 months. Check your company policy when you join, usually you have to have completed 6 months before 15 weeks EWC or similar [sorry, can't be bothered to look it up] to qualify for statutory, and any enhanced package the company may have.
I would hold off TTC until you can be sure if you are lucky enough to get pregnant immediately, you will qualify. Don't hold off any longer than that if having children is your priority.

Whether it is true or not, you can tell your boss it was unplanned. Be prepared to be totally sidelined by her if you plan to take anything more than 6 months off. DO NOT come back to work at 6 months to "save" your career if you would have otherwise taken 12 and would seriously regret it if you returned and found yourself in a role that was clearly set up for you to tootle off and have a second child post haste.

Let's assume all goes well with ttc and you get prevent within 6 months. It's still likely that you'll be in the job a year before going off on mat leave. You are entitled to this.
But I totally get why you're worried. We're thinking about ttc #2 and I have doubts because I don't want to take loads of time off work. I love my job and I hate the idea of someone else coming in and doing my work. But I want another baby so that's that.

Those of you who think it is taking the piss to go off on mat leave quickly, how long do you think someone should be in the job before getting pregnant then?

While I completely see zeezeek's point, and as an erstwhile small employer myself, I would be absolutely dream recruit disappeared off on maternity leave within a few months of starting, I think that the OP's new boss is living in cloud cuckoo land if she hires a childless 37 year old and is then surprised when said new recruit gets pregnant. Does she expect you to give up having children AT ALL because of this new job? Presumably not, so she therefore must be aware that maternity leave is on the fairly near horizon.

(absolutely gutted if a dream recruit etc. etc.)

I was in a career change job less than a year at 39 when I got pregnant. They were fine. Then I did it again. They were fine. I am sure some one some where sighed loudly but not near me. I caught up when I got back. It's life and time is not on your side. Like me you have another 20 odd years to go in a job

A lot can depend on the individual baby too, and the flexibility of your employer.
My DC1 was a poor sleeper and I spent 6 months in a fog of tiredness. A nanny totally sorted it out in the space of a few weeks when I went back to work
Retained the same nanny but DC2 was a v chilled child and slept through with a dream feed from 8-7 from about 10 weeks. Bliss. I went back to work part time working mornings only from home at 12 weeks, FT back in the office at 6 months.

Your new boss will have completely taken into account your age and the fact that you are recently married. She has probably given you the role against her better judgement hence the inappropriate comment. Yes you will compound her worst fears but depending on your parenting/career plan and childcare options open to you [income and family support based usually] you can manage her expectations carefully and minimise damage to your position.

In the end, if you decide to take 12 months or have to, life will go on. You are in a senior role and it is often easier to transfer out to a new company when you finish having children if you want to get off the "Mummytrack"

I actually think that was really inappropriate thing to say, joking or not. Whilst I can see how disruptive maternity leave is for a company, it is absolutely not her right to dictate how you should live. You will be there for a year before you leave - not that new?

I can't believe how many people are in the view that you shouldn't have taken a new job because of hoping to try for a baby in a few months. You can't just pass up opportunity that will be beneficial for you in the long run. What if it takes longer than expected? I don't know how long you would hope to take off but once you're back you have a lot of working years left in you.

I had forgotten when I replied earlier that I got pregnant first time around after being in a job for 3 months. It was a crappy job and they went back on a number of things I had been promised in terms of the work and I didn't plan to return after mat leave anyway (and didn't). However the (female, childless) head of department took me aside at the Christmas party to say congratulations on my wonderful happy news (I had just announced at work) and that she had made the mistake of leaving it too late and very much regretted never having a family. So you never know what other people have going on in their lives, or

how they will react to things.

I've been on the receiving end of this. If you're a small business it's a complete plain in the ass (and sometimes not possible) to pay to employ someone and then pay for maternity cover or to expect their colleagues to pick up the extra work.

Still, there are laws around this and you will be protected against any discrimination that may occur.

Good luck!

I'm an employer in a small business. Whilst it can be a bit of a pain if a relatively new employee goes off on maternity leave, the really annoying situation is when a bad employee who we'd been considering sacking announces they're pregnant. We're then stuck with keeping someone on because if we didn't then it could look like unfair dismissal, in the certain knowledge that they won't come back after mat leave, and we wouldn't want them anyway, so it's lose-lose for us.

A good employee who does their job well and is a committed member of the team is wished well, given a nice present, and we all look forward to their return!

It must be galling for employers when a relatively new employee takes six to twelve months off. They have to adhere to the law but i suspect a lot would form their own private opinion. Same goes for those who have the same women take three or four leaves etc.

Larger businesses can likely cope but small businesses suffer.

Add into the mix those that take full childcare vouchers knowing the law currently stops employers deducting for their costs and it's little anybody would employ a women under 50. More companies are pulling out of the scheme which simply ruins it for those that didn't take advantage.