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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To have December born ds's birthday party when he is 2.5 years old rather than 2 years old?

54 replies

ikeaismylocal · 20/08/2014 13:27

Ds is born in the same week as Christmas day, dp has a huge family so we need to have seperate family and friends birthday parties as dp's family is 20ish people.

I am thinking a mid June "friends" party would be lovely, hopefully the weather would be nice and we could be outside and ds will get some birthday celebratioons and presents in the middle of the year rather than having his birthday a little overshadowed by christmas.

This year I will also have a newborn baby and I don't really want a houseful of sneezing coughing toddlers (precious 2nd born?).

I have never been to a half birthday party, have you been to one? Do you do this yourself?

OP posts:

ErmICantThinkOfAName · 20/08/2014 14:50

YABU. I have a birthday just before Christmas and when I was growing up my DM and DGPs always made a point of keeping it an entirely separate occasion to Christmas. I always had a birthday party and two sets of presents. I didn't feel that I missed out at all and one of my happiest childhood memories is putting the Christmas tree up on the evening of my birthday every year, thus signalling the end of my birthday and the start of Christmas!

I would have hated to have had birthday celebrations at a different time of year - it wouldn't have felt like my day as I would have known from a young age that it wasn't actually my birthday.

I am now in a situation where my birthday, Christmas, and my wedding anniversary all fall within the last fortnight of the year. I wouldn't change it for the world although DH might say differently when he checks his bank balance on Jan 1st!

StoneFoxMama · 20/08/2014 15:51

We have found you can't expect people to 'save the date' or be available with a lot of notice during this period, so although a well intentioned suggestion it can be impossible. Most of our friends leave the country for Christmas, so do we like to every other Christmas.
I'd say you don't have to worry now but when they start school just do a party when they go back and the new term has been well and truly started.
Why on earth would other parents feel short changed if the party is not on the actual (inconvenient) date?? They don't have to buy presents/cards make any sort of effort twice so it shouldn't matter. I have always let parents know that my son's actual birthday was in December and they all understand completely.

Squtternutbaush · 20/08/2014 15:54

YANBU.

Friends DD was born Christmas day and celebrates birthday with friends on her half birthday.

chubbyhez · 20/08/2014 15:55

Bonkers

overthebliddyhill · 20/08/2014 16:16

My youngest always had a "summer" birthday with party and large gift from us. There was a small toke gift and family tea on his real birthday a few days before Christmas. It worked a treat.

KnackeredMuchly · 20/08/2014 16:19

I just want to jump on this thread.

My baby is due boxing day and I am just curious - should I be hoping his birthday is a few days early or a few days late? He will come when he is good and ready of course I was just wondering!!

halfdrunkcoffee · 20/08/2014 16:23

I'm wondering about this as poor DD's birthday is New Year's Day.
When we were on holiday we met a family celebrating their daughter's second birthday - it turned out she was actually 2.5 but was born on Christmas Eve so it was a half birthday. I don't know how long they'll keep it up. Summer is definitely much better for children's parties. However, at the moment he's two so won't really notice either way.

longtallsally2 · 20/08/2014 16:25

YANBU - we have friends in a similar situation who have always celebrated their son's birthday 6 months afterwards, and it has always worked out fine.

mommy2ash · 20/08/2014 16:26

my dd was born mid December It never crossed my mind to celebrate it at a different time.

christmasmum · 20/08/2014 16:27

My dd is Christmas Day so we have her birthday from 3pm on Christmas Day (no more mentions of Santa etc!) until 3pm on Boxing Day. We then have a party in the summer but we don't call it a 'birthday' party it's just a summer party for her and her friends. Seems to work well for us. We don't buy her presents in summer, though her friends do as they don't give her a birthday gift at Christmas.

hellsbellsmelons · 20/08/2014 16:30

I used to do this all the time when DD was younger.
She's middle January.
Used to have a party towards the end of the school term in July.
Worked well for us.

georgeousgeorge · 20/08/2014 16:34

I think it matters when the actual day is - may we know???

Pre- christmas is easy (I am a pre-xmas baby) you put the tree and decorations up, but only birthday cards on the mantlepiece. The birthday is a distinct celebration, then you get on with Christmas.

In fact my (also pre christmas) DS1 has picked up on this and HAS to have the Christmas tree up on his birthday like mummy!

It is more difficult if it is actually on Christmas Day or Boxing Day....

After though you do the same, make a distinct celebration on the day.

It does take a bit of effort though - I always make sure I organise stuff early, so party invitations go out 6-8 weeks before so you get people to commit before they get committed to xmas parties etc.

museumum · 20/08/2014 16:38

I think there's something special about your birthday. Your ds is just not a June baby. He's a winter baby and should have a winter party. There's a great book for children of 11ish called the dark is rising about a boy with a midwinter birthday. Read it yourself and keep it for when he's old enough.

noitsachicken · 20/08/2014 16:48

I am due end of Dec/early Jan, but likely to have an ELCS, which would be Xmas week. This has made me sad for my baby's birthday.
DS is a June baby, so we already have a summer party. I think we just have to make a big birthday fuss, with no mention of Xmas on the day (whenever that will be!)

ContentedSidewinder · 20/08/2014 17:03

My own birthday is in the middle of the year and my two sisters are end of October and end of November. The November one always complained that as a child her birthday was rolled into Christmas and sometimes October birthday sister was told her big birthday present was lumped together with Christmas funds.

I would get mine in the middle of the year so to them I always got two lots of presents a year, they sometimes only got one. It doesn't matter how much money was spent but they remember this.

I am lucky that both my boys are mid year birthdays. So I would say, yes shift the celebration to mid year when the weather is usually better and not all about Christmas.

Notso · 20/08/2014 17:32

DS2 went to an 'Unbirthday' party in July for his Nursery friend who has a December birthday.
It was clear on the invitation it wasn't his birthday so no presents.
It was a lovely get together for the children in the Summer holidays as they only met in Rising 3's so most of the Parents don't really know each other yet.

I thought it was a fantastic idea. DS2 has a December birthday, as do I and my Mum. He hasn't had a proper party yet because of everything going on. I have 4 DC so there's lots of pre-Christmas festivities going on.
Also there is so much more choice of party in the Summer.

I am tempted to copy. I wouldn't do any presents OP I would find that odd.
We tend to do what my parents did for me and buy a regular present for the birthday and something outdoorsy for Christmas that doesn't really get much use until the weather gets nicer.

Original poster

ikeaismylocal · 20/08/2014 17:53

It's good to hear some people have done this and it's worked out ok, I don't see why ds's friends or their parents would feel cheated as we won't have 2 parties for them to attend, just the one, I wouldn't have thought attending a party in June is any harder for them.

His birthday is on the 19th, so this year we could have his party on the weekend before but the 13th is a big celebration in the country we live in so it would have to be the 14th, the weekend after is just too close to Christmas, most of ds's friends are immigrants so will be traveling to their home countries for Christmas.

Dp has a December birthday and he hates it. It is good to hear some people didn't mind their birthday being in December.

OP posts:

effinandjeffin · 20/08/2014 18:47

YANBU

I'm considering this for my DD whose birthday is a couple of days before Xmas. I always feel all the parents of the kids in her class will be too busy to bother with her party at such a late stage in the run up to xmas.

On a side note, ds' s birthday is in the summer hols and he had a birthday party a month before his actual birthday because I knew most of his friends would be away.

TheAmazingZebraOnWheels · 20/08/2014 18:52

My birthday is Christmas Day. Growing up I always celebrated a few weeks early - that was considered my birthday and wishing me "Happy Birthday" on Christmas day was always something that would get remembered just before lunch. and I still do that but now just with family. I get a lot of "but it's not actually your birthday" and people get really precious about that with me and "I'll wish you Happy Birthday on your actual birthday". And then apart from close family completely forget on my birthday. When I turned 30 I had a party the following April but made it very clear I didn't want presents or cards then (I did get some). That's the only time I've not celebrated in December.

primarynoodle · 20/08/2014 18:57

I nannied for twins born in xmas day... they had half birthday parties and it worked really well for them!

Phineyj · 20/08/2014 18:59

YANBU, DD was born on Boxing Day and we do half birthdays six months later. Not only has it been fine, but several quite elderly people have told us at great length how much they would have liked this arrangement as they were so fed up after the years of everyone ignoring their Dec 24th/25th/26th birthdays!

Romeyroo · 20/08/2014 19:02

I have a December born DC, and having sent out invitations for a December party last year and only half the invitees came or bothered to reply, I am doing late November this year!!
Other DC has a summer birthday and her parties are always well attended.
It is not about the presents, it is about people being able to, or bothering, to come.

theroseofwait · 20/08/2014 19:37

YAN being U.
My birthday is the 14th Dec and mum's the 14th August. Since I was about 30 I've celebrated at the same time as my mum so we can do something together - we have enough on at Christmas especially since I've had children. For a little one just make sure it's before the end of term so everyone's about. I wish my mum had thought of it 25 years earlier!

addictedtosugar · 20/08/2014 19:49

Yep, many years ago, my Mum apparently had a token present on her birthday, and celebrated her half birthday's properly.
Next door's DD is a XMas day birthday, and they celebrate 25 Dec and 25 June.

ICanSeeTheSun · 20/08/2014 19:56

Mine is the 14th and it would feel very weird celebrating in June.

Also if you decide to have more children will they also get 2 birthdays.

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