Was I being unreasonable to ignore this?

[VintageLace]

I was taking the bus home today. A few stops after I had got on the bus, a couple of women with 4 small children got on.

I normally mess around and read mn on my phone whilst travelling but at this point my battery had died. So instead I was staring out of the window day dreaming and thinking.

About half way through the journey, one of the women started screaming that she was going to batter the kids if they didn't keep still or something to that effect. I ignored the screaming and carried on looking out of the window.

The woman who screamed then turned to look down the bus (I saw from the corner of my eye), then asked her friend if the woman behind her was staring at her. She meant me, I certainly wasn't and was clearly looking out of the window. Her friend then laughed and said something along the lines of "yeah she is, she's asking for it". Screamy woman then said "tell me if she looks again and I'll punch her in the fucking face".

At this point I felt awkward and threatened. But I still ignored and carried on looking out of the window. I am 15 weeks pregnant and really didn't want any trouble. I continued to ignore the threats and got off the bus as soon as I could.

A friend of mine has just said that I should have said something and defended myself. But to be honest I was too scared

So, was I being unreasonable?

You did exactly the right thing - removed yourself from a potential threat asap.

No of course YANBU. What horrid people they are. Hope you're not too shaken, it's really upsetting.

I wouldn't want to even waste a word on their 'type'. They both sound vile. You just avoid confrontation with people like that. Yanbu.

You did exactly the right thing, of course you did!

Your friend is talking bollocks.

I wouldn't have got involved, that woman sounds vile, you protected yourself and your unborn baby.

Have a cup of tea and try to relax, it must have been quite unnerving.

"At this point I felt awkward and threatened"

That's a textbook definition of assault :(

You did the right thing. Especially as you're pregnant. Sounds like they were a little unhinged and you don't know where their limits are, if they have any.
This poor children though :(

She was clearly looking for a confrontation. Good for you for not giving her what she wanted. Treat it as good practice for dealing with toddler tantrums.

Congratulations on your pregnancy btw.

I have a friend who is a Krav Magna instructor, he is the hardest man I have ever known. He ALWAYS walks away, it's the first rule of self defence. Stop it before it starts, only engage if there is absolutely no other option.

No YANBU.

I have never felt as vulnerable as when I was pregnant, and yes, it's irrational but heyho. I remember once going to pick my car up from a multistorey late at night and feeling terrified - heart thumping like mad - despite it being something I'd done hundreds of times, and that was only a perceived risk! You were in a situation where someone had actually threatened you. I'd have done exactly the same.

You poor love, I hope someone has given you a gig and a cup of sweet tea.

Ghastly women and those poor children.

You did the right thing, absolutely. The poor kids though :(

Gig?? Are you a Rolling Stone?

Hug.

She sounds like utter scum.
You did the right thing OP.

Your friend is crazy, does she honestly think that you having a go would have ended in a better result?

Not at all - took part in a self defence session with DD1 and the first thing they taught us was to run away if possible.

and

Thank you all.

I actually feel really shook up as i convinced myself I was going to be beaten up and potentially have my baby harmed in some way.

I have form for being a push over and not standing up for myself. I'm just glad this isn't one of those occasions.

Going to have a nice brew and calm down now. Thank you for your kind words

I have been training in karate for 12 years. I am a 2nd dan black belt and have done contact sparring with many people. I'm about as confident as you can get when it comes to defending myself- and I can tell you, the FIRST option of defence is always to ignore and walk away.

Any other options are a last resort, so well done to you for doing exactly the right thing.

Engaging with them would have been, in my mother's words, neither big nor clever.

You absolutely did the right thing, most scum like that are usually all bark and no bite but not worth the risk if you're pregnant. It's a shame the bus driver didn't say anything. I've seen bus drivers kick people off buses for much less.

She clearly wasn't open to reason, challenging her was only likely to make the situation escalate. You did the right thing.