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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

UK and America are two countries separated by a common language, UK and US Q&A

999 replies

Pipbin · 18/08/2014 20:23

Continuation of the previous thread where posters from the UK ask questions like 'what the hell is going on with the gaps in US toilet doors'; and posters fro the US ask things like 'what is with wearing stripes'

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/a2149133-to-think-there-is-something-wrong-with-Americans?msgid=48969042#48969042

OP posts:
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15
Shakshuka · 19/08/2014 01:25

The yellow buses are free and they're amazing. We live in NYC and have a public elementary school within walking distance. We chose to send them to a private school about 3 miles away and we're entitled to a free yellow bus service until 7th grade. It's incredible that we get this service when we've made the choice to go private but i LOVE it!

KeatsiePie · 19/08/2014 01:27

Yes, I think they do, as I understand it from Canadian friends. And they can split it up -- 6 months for each spouse, 3 for one and 9 for the other, whatever. I'm sure there are some arrangements that go into how it gets split up but afaik. employers cannot refuse you if you want to take x months and your partner take y. I think it sounds amazing.

SconeRhymesWithGone · 19/08/2014 01:28

And FMLA only applies to employers of a certain size.

ICanSeeTheSun · 19/08/2014 01:29

I can't believe how shocking the maternity leave is.

KeatsiePie · 19/08/2014 01:31

It's terrible. Pretty much every friend I have with kids has struggled to find a workable option, including people who are paid pretty/very well.

KeatsiePie · 19/08/2014 01:39

Ooh, I have one! Is class really a big thing in the UK? I am afraid I am extrapolating from Downton Abbey and E.M. Forster novels here ... does class feel rigid to you, hard to move up not just to make more money but to be seen as a member of a higher class and do people care about how they are seen?

x2boys · 19/08/2014 01:39

What about welfare every time I see programmes/and somebody is on welfare they seenm to be ashamed we have a great welfare state I think, of course it has its problems do you only get welfare assistance for a number of years? I know our system is over complicated and can be open to abuse but there is a safety net .Do you have social housing?

lettertoherms · 19/08/2014 01:41

Women hobble to work after c-sections because they can't afford to be off. I'm don't think I'm overreacting in that I think our system is dangerous and barbaric.

When I see threads on here about women wondering if it will be possible to take a reduced leave for their career, and the many replies about how hard they might find leaving their newborn, or recovering from birth, even saying it's impossible to take less than oh, six months, it makes me want to cry.

Most women here have no choice.

wobblyweebles · 19/08/2014 01:42

There is both welfare and social housing, yes. But not in the form that you're used to in the UK, and not so generous.

wobblyweebles · 19/08/2014 01:43

Welfare systems here www.welfareinfo.org/
As it says 'Most states offer basic aid such as health care, food stamps, child care assistance, unemployment, cash aid, and housing assistance'

ICanSeeTheSun · 19/08/2014 01:43

Class isn't a big thing for me.

wobblyweebles · 19/08/2014 01:45

Public housing info here portal.hud.gov/hudportal/HUD?src=/topics/rental_assistance/phprog

lettertoherms · 19/08/2014 01:45

We have Section 8 housing - it might be called different things in different states. Reduced/subsidized rent available for qualified applicants in low-income areas.

However, particularly in recent years, it's been very limited and hard to get as a new applicant.

Homelessness is a big problem. There are some shelters, and women and children have some protection, but we do have a large amount of people living on the streets.

wobblyweebles · 19/08/2014 01:46

Social security disability programs here www.ssa.gov/disability/

Ericaequites · 19/08/2014 01:46

What I wrote about sororities is based on my experience as a Independent (non-Greek) c.1991-3.

Ericaequites · 19/08/2014 01:47

I live in. rural New England. Social class can be a big deal here, but less so in California.

itsbetterthanabox · 19/08/2014 01:48

How much income tax do you pay on average? I know it depends on what you earn so use an example say here a person on minimum wage earns £20,000 they would pay £287 a month in income tax and national insurance. So what would that person pay in the USA?
Also do you have a minimum wage and how much is it?

steff13 · 19/08/2014 01:50

Cash assistance is time-limited to 36 months in my state, the federal limit is 60 months. There are extensions available, if you meet the criteria.

Food Assistance is not time limited, and it's based on your income and the number of people in your household. Medicaid is also based on income. WIC is available in addition to Food Assistance, if you are pregnant and/or have a child age 5 or under.

itsbetterthanabox · 19/08/2014 01:52

Lettertoherms in the Uk we don't get full pay for the time we are on maternity. Most of the time it is just statutory maternity allowance paid by the government which is about £100 a week so much lower than any full time job and not an amount to live on. Some companies do pay you your salary or part of it for longer but not all.

steff13 · 19/08/2014 01:53

Income tax is a hard question, because people pay in, but a lot get everything they paid (sometimes even more than they paid) back when they file their taxes every year.

KeatsiePie · 19/08/2014 01:53

We have social housing. In places like New York City, public assistance developments have historically tended to be big tower blocks of housing that seem to become run-down and unpleasant and sometimes pretty dangerous fairly quickly. (These are what people mean when they say "the projects." Many if not most are still in operation I think.) These days there's more going on in the way of rent vouchers on "normal" apartments; some cities have regulations now where if you build an apartment building, x% of the apartments have to qualify for public assistance rent, meaning the rent can't exceed x and you have to take tenants who are on assistance. I don't know all that much about this though, sorry.

In general I am sorry to say (and my experience with this is limited, so I really may be off here) that I think people here are often ashamed to be on welfare. This is b/c we have a history of people on welfare being stereotyped as lazy. I think this perception mostly comes from some nasty political positioning, e.g., en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Welfare_queen.

Some people certainly game the system but I think that's more b/c it's incredibly hard to get off welfare: if you earn above $x, you don't qualify for welfare anymore, but $x is really, really low, so you will not actually have enough money to live if you get a job. Oversimplification, but a real problem.

Tikimon · 19/08/2014 01:53

When I see threads on here about women wondering if it will be possible to take a reduced leave for their career, and the many replies about how hard they might find leaving their newborn, or recovering from birth, even saying it's impossible to take less than oh, six months, it makes me want to cry.

Yeah, I sort of chuckle at the women that haven't ever separated from their 6 month old yet. Ours are in daycare at 3 weeks if even that. Maternity isn't even paid over here, they just can't fire you for taking 3 weeks off. So most women are back at work a week or so later because they need to pay the bills and be able to feed their new baby.

I got lucky. Me and DH figured out a way for me to stay home with the baby while he worked. He still took a week off work to help me get settled in. But it's not the norm unless you're rich enough to have one person stay home.

itsbetterthanabox · 19/08/2014 01:56

Why do they get money back? Shock

wobblyweebles · 19/08/2014 01:59

Because you decide how much tax you want deducted throughout the year, based on a somewhat complicated form where you enter what you think you will earn, how many dependents you have, what the capital city of Guam is, etc. If you're going to get a bonus you might reduce your tax deductions that week so that you see more of the bonus, rather than them suddenly assuming you're earning millions and taking most in tax.

Then at the end of the year you file a tax return where you calculate what you think you owe, and if you're lucky it's fairly close to what you actually paid. If not you start selling heirlooms, etc.

KeatsiePie · 19/08/2014 02:00

wobbly that made me laugh out loud -- too true. We never fucking get it right. I'm sure it's b/c I keep misidentifying the capital city of Guam.