UK and America are two countries separated by a common language, UK and US Q&A

[Pipbin]

Continuation of the previous thread where posters from the UK ask questions like 'what the hell is going on with the gaps in US toilet doors'; and posters fro the US ask things like 'what is with wearing stripes'

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/a2149133-to-think-there-is-something-wrong-with-Americans?msgid=48969042#48969042

Clip of The Good Life for those too young or too foreign to know it.
I see the boss gets called Sir but the wife just gets Felicity. m.youtube.com/watch?v=TKGr5KGxpwo

Breastfeeding was a nightmare in the states, as I had to go back to work 2 weeks after giving birth. Much better here in the UK as I was home longer.

Is there a national stance on the legality of public breastfeeding or would that be a State mandated thing?

Maybe I'm more unusual than I thought then. My children's friends have nearly always called me by my first name, but on the rare occasions when one has tried to call me Mrs X (oddly enough, the one that springs to mind was from a military family), it feels really weird to me and I ask them not to. It could be that it matters to me more because I work with children and am called Mrs X at work, so being called that when I'm "off duty" feels like two worlds colliding. But my friends all prefer to be called by their first names too and not all of them work with children.

When I was growing up, it was the norm to call your parent's best friends "Aunty & Uncle" as an honourific, with their permission of course (Can't remember if this is still the case anymore).

My DS calls my two best friends "Auntie X". He calls the neighbors Mr and Mrs X. The other neighbor is Miss B. Other adults he calls by their first name.

I think Southern children saying ma'am and sir is sweet :)

My dad always called his PILs Ma'am and Sir, and he always tipped his hat and offered his arm to my granny if they were ever walking together. He always called other older ladies he didn't know 'Ma'am' too if he had reason to address them, along with hat-tipping. He was born in 1918 to an Indian Army officer father however, and he himself was exRAF.

I was always brought up to call adults who were not relatives (neighbours, teachers, etc) Mrs, Ms, Miss or Mr. Nobody in my suburban Dublin neighbourhood ever used a first name for an adult. For aunts and uncles however, we always used the first name but some other families used Auntie or Uncle. I had a friend in school about age 6 whose aunt was our teacher, and she used to blurt out 'auntie T' instead of 'Mrs S' sometimes if she was asking a question in class.. My children and all the other children I know always call unrelated adults Ms, Mrs or Mr, and I don't know anyone who ever said 'call me [firstname]'. I have never heard anyone around here call a parent Sir or Ma'am -- I think that is a strictly southern thing? I have an exBIL from Georgia (went to The Citadel) who called his parents Sir and Ma'am, but he didn't want that for his own family at all.

I never had any problem breastfeeding while out and about as a SAHM (90s) except once in the shoe department of my local JCPenneys where I got a shocked stare from two older women. Workplaces are obliged to provide a fridge and private space for pumping, and time to do so too, afaik, but this is a fairly recent development in policy. I don't know if this sort of policy comes under the heading of equal opportunity employment or OSHA or state by state, or a combination of state and federal mandates.

Are there rules concerning how you would address an unknown female in the US?

When we there last year I was called both 'ma'am' and 'miss' by male staff in restaurants.

On all occasions they were very polite but I'm 43 and obviously married (ring, husband ) so I wasn't sure whether I would automatically be a ma'am rather than a 'miss'

My daughters were with with me (both aged 17 at the time) and they were definitely a 'miss' so I was a bit confused about being one too. It was flattering but confusing.

My husband was 'sir' and the boys were 'bud' or 'buddy' which they bloody loved

I have told DH that if he calls me ma'am he can have sex just about anything he wants

Mrs would always come with a surname after it, but Ma'am and Miss not necessarily so they are sometimes used for occasions when you don't know the name of the woman you are addressing. 'Honey' or 'Hon' or some other fond anonymous term might be used in more homey or informal places but only by waitresses who were older and more matronly, and they might use that term for a man or woman.

In the south and in the African American community elsewhere, women are often called Miss/Mz [first name].

DH used to refer to our friends as Auntie/Uncle X in regards to DS. I found it very odd and he seems to have stopped doing it now (I didn't stop him, btw, I just didn't join in). Don't know if that's regional or class-based. Possibly both as we have very different backgrounds.

Much of it is what you are used to and the cultural norms, so it does not seem odd for me to be called ma'am here in the US South, but the "madam" I get sometimes in the UK sounds very strange to my American ears. I loved being called hen in Glasgow, though.

Hmmm, I think I can see a new market opening in the States...selling UK style bacon slices.

scone

In Yorkshire I sometimes get called 'duck' or 'duckie'

They say duck in the Midlands too, or love/luv. And "Moi loverrrrrrrrr" in the west country. And "mate" for a man.

My Uncle is from South Derbyshire and once said to me "Eyup me duck, what yon wi'?"

Had no idea what he meant, despite us living 2 miles away just over the border! :o

Father is from the West Country, as am I, and he calls people 'my lover' all the time.

I call MIL's best friend Auntie as DH does. I had Uncle X, who was my godfather and Auntie Y who was my Granddad's second wife.

I think if I was called Madam in a English shop it would feel rather condescending.

Eats we were always told that my parents friends were Uncle and Auntie, seems quite common here (east mids) as you get a lot of people saying "My Aunty Jane, wellnotmyrealauntysheismymumsfriendbutyouknowwhatimean, is coming over next week".

I think its because a child calling an adult Jane would be deemed rude but Mrs Smith is over formal for a family friend so Aunty is used instead. Also because it denotes a more special relationship as all the "Auntys" and "Uncles" I had were very close to my parents and often Godparents (or spouses of Godparents) to me and my sister.

And I always called the neighbours Mr and Mrs X too.

We called the neighbours by their first names but they were a good 10 years younger than my baby boomer parents so were ok with that. Neighbours on the other side were "Mr and Mrs X" to their faces, but I only think that happened once or twice, but were Y & Z at home as thats what mum and dad called them.

A rerun of QIXL has just remained me to say 'calm down about your flag already.' American's seem to hold the stars and stripes up as some kind of holy relic.
We are not like this. The gym I used to go to was opposite the county court. I used to go at about 6.30, just as they were putting up the flag outside the court. I remember watching a guy in a high vis jacket, with a fag on the go, talking on his phone idly kicking the union flag he was meant to be raising. In my mind it is done with full military honours in the US.

Many many many years ago there was a program where they got groups of tourists from different nations and, using hidden cameras, set up different situations. The idea was to see how different nationalities dealt with poor service etc. One of the situations was that the tourists got back from a day trip and found the damaged remains of their national flag. The English, Japanese and French were a rather pissed off and worried that they had offended someone. The Americans went completely batshit mental. So much so they had to stop the experiment.

Just occurred to me after something I posted on another thread.

"Did I do X? Did I bollocks!" means "Did I do X? No I didnt, fool that I am!" Is there an equivalent in the US?

Actually it can also mean "Did I do X? No I didnt, no I didnt because I didnt want to!" Its all in the tone of voice I think!

I've probably said that Bogey ... just said "hell" instead of bollocks.

Although to be fair, I quite like the sound of the words bollocks, bloody, and wanker. Nice solid sounding bad words. The British really do it much better.

Haha, Pipbin, I didn't see that programme, but there is an English textbook somewhere which talks about it, I used it on my teacher training course. The textbook, er, toned down that scene somewhat

Yes I think "Did I bollocks" could be plausibly used as "Did I hell" or the (ever baffling) heck. Or just "Did I? Hell no!"

I did actually once see someone type on a forum "All kinds of heck broke loose"

I really, really like hell as an expletive. I always imagine I sound really feisty and Southern when I say it. I probably still sound like my slightly posh Midlander self.