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AIBU?

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UK and America are two countries separated by a common language, UK and US Q&A

999 replies

Pipbin · 18/08/2014 20:23

Continuation of the previous thread where posters from the UK ask questions like 'what the hell is going on with the gaps in US toilet doors'; and posters fro the US ask things like 'what is with wearing stripes'

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/a2149133-to-think-there-is-something-wrong-with-Americans?msgid=48969042#48969042

OP posts:
Thread gallery
15
KeatsiePie · 20/08/2014 08:37

Oops cross posts. Sorry Jessie I was laughing out loud b/c I was comparing moving into a dorm vs. staying at home with my parents re: freedom to pursue a sex life -- if there were a 3rd option of an apartment where each person had their own bedroom that would certainly be better than either of the first 2 choices.

AliceDoesntLiveHereAnymore · 20/08/2014 08:42

oh, and I say poo or poop occasionally.... trying to make sure my 5yo and 8yo aren't repeating bad words like shit... I am not sure what the big deal is whether one says poo or poop Confused .. and I said crap once when in the UK and got the "horrified eyebrows" from a few people, haven't said it since. Hmm

sashh · 20/08/2014 08:47

I am not sure what the big deal is whether one says poo or poop

Poop is a fart

Bogeyface · 20/08/2014 08:54

But male primogeniture still applies for titles of nobility, right? And usually the whole estate goes with the title

There is currently a campaign going on to get the law changed about this too, I read about it in the Independent, just after Prince George was born. Will try and find the article.

The law needs changing, it archaic.

Bogeyface · 20/08/2014 08:56

"Poop poop!" in a sing songy voice is what Mr Toad kept saying on his countrywide car-jacking spree! Not sure it would be the same if he said "Shit shit!" although given he ended up in prison it might have been more appropriate :o

AliceDoesntLiveHereAnymore · 20/08/2014 09:03

Poop is a fart

And does it really matter? Saying poo, crap, shit, poop, whatever as an expletive.. it's all just a tad beneath classy conversation anyway. Who cares?? Confused Unless of course you're referring specifically to fecal material, in which case, again, I don't care WHAT you call it, as long as the meaning is clear, I suppose.

Pedantic, that's what it is.

JessieMcJessie · 20/08/2014 09:18

Pipbin Grin

Thanks keatsiepie. I am amazed that people would shag with someone else in the room! I would never, ever have done that- would rather have stayed celibate!

Tanith · 20/08/2014 09:19

Please may I ask about summer schools?

I was reading a book by Torey Hayden where she says she was trying to find programmes for all her class children during the summer holidays - I think these are courses?

Do all the children attend summer schools? And when are your summer holidays?

I tried to work it all out from the book but couldn't - they seemed to break up in June, yet September-born children were the youngest in the class!

Pipbin · 20/08/2014 09:37

I have a question. Separation of church and state.
We don't have that, which means that every school, in England I'm not sure about Scotland, Wales or Northern Ireland, has to have collective Christian worship each day, and until recently children had to learn the Lord's Prayer.
It also means that church weddings are legal. We have to have 30 minutes of religious education in primary schools each week. This is about different religious rather than bible study.
But we are a lot less religious than people in the US, and although there are a few glances to Christianity like this we are a rather secular society.

In the US although you have his seperation of church and state you seem to have much more open Christianity. With having things like 'In God We Trust' on the money.
Can you have a legally binding marriage in a church? Why can some schools refuse to teach evolution? Do you have any religious teaching in schools?

OP posts:
CheerfulYank · 20/08/2014 09:43

I love Torey Hayden! :)

Summer vacation is usually the end of May or early June, until the end of August or the beginning of September. I know some schools are back in session already, but my DS has been off since May 30th and won't go back til September 2nd.

Not all students go to summer school. Usually you have to go it you've called something and need extra help to catch up. There is also summer programming for kids with special needs, which I assume would be the case in Torey's book.

As far as September birthdays, it depends on when the book was written. Now most schools have a hard and fast rule that you must be five by September first in order to start kindergarten. So usually summer birthdays are the youngest in the class. But a generation ago they weren't quite as strict so if your birthday was near the beginning of the school year, you could go. My dad turned 5 the day he started kindergarten back in 1965 and his birthday is September 3rd.

In the area I live now, most people hold their summer birthdays back a year actually, and send them to kindergarten at 6 instead of 5. I did, with my July born DS. :)

CheerfulYank · 20/08/2014 09:45

failed something

AliceDoesntLiveHereAnymore · 20/08/2014 09:49

no religious teaching in public schools. Some schools do not allow the religious songs either - so it's not a Christmas concert, it's a "Winter" concert - it can use Christmas songs, but only of a secular nature, not religious. And definitely no nativities!! Other schools are slightly more relaxed.

CheerfulYank · 20/08/2014 09:50

Church marriages are legal but require a license obtained from a courthouse.

It is illegal for public schools to ban evolution.

CheerfulYank · 20/08/2014 09:53

Teachers can explain about a religion if there is a reason like "because Jews believe X..." or whatever, like explaining current events or history.

When I was in school we got to leave for an hour every Wednesday and walk to the church of our parents' choice for RE.

Naicecuppatea · 20/08/2014 09:57

Why is ketchup called katsup (catsup)?

And why is the food in the US so much better than here! Not a question really just a statement.

Do US women spend a lot more time on hair and makeup than we do in the UK? I think I wouldn't want to live there for that reason, everyone seems so well groomed!

KateBeckett · 20/08/2014 09:59

Why on Pinterest do I keep seeing teacher packs that include 'supply lists' to give out to parents? Do you not have a school budget? Eg - at my last school the office staff were responsible for stationery, the literacy coordinator ordered books for the library and classrooms etc. in my current school I have my own classroom budget and can order whatever I want through stationery catalougs. All of this comes from the school budget. If we are doing junk modelog we might ask for donations, and of we are cooking we might ask children for £1 or to bring in any special ingredients, but pencils books paper etc are paid for by the school.

seagull70 · 20/08/2014 10:02

Kate, in the US parents are expected to contribute towards things like notebooks, stationery and general supplies such as tissues. I only know this because we almost had to relocate to San Jose a few years ago and spoke to lots of friends out there who mentioned this.

I think that it is down to budgetary restrictions?

Tanith · 20/08/2014 10:02

I love Torey Hayden

Oh, me too! :)

Thank you, CheerfulYank - that explains a lot. Amazed at the long summer. I wish they did it here.

The book was one of the early ones, so it sounds like they weren't so strict. My DD is August-born so I would have taken advantage of the extra year if I could.

I have actually been quite surprised at the number of American initiatives, such as mainstreaming, that have been adopted over here.

AliceDoesntLiveHereAnymore · 20/08/2014 10:15

When dd was in elementary school (primary), each year the teacher would send home a list of things that could be donated to the classroom - things like pencils, tissues, erasers, markers, tons of things. The more that was donated by parents, the less the school budget was stretched for those things and could be used for other things, like a field trip or something. I would much rather bring in a big bag of donated goods or donate money than the kids be sent around raising money for the school by selling things to everyone. SOOOO much easier. (and cheaper!)

melissa83 · 20/08/2014 11:25

Everyone was having sex when dh and I shared a room with three others each when we were 18. Why is this meant to stop anyone. My best mate room mate shagged about 10 different blokes in the 6 months we were together

itsbetterthanabox · 20/08/2014 12:01

I would feel so unsafe if my roommate was bringing people back to our bedroom for sex. Especially drunk men. I think that is terrible that you are subjected to that.
Here most people I know are allowed a long term bf to stay over at their parents house with them but some parents are prudish.

SconeRhymesWithGone · 20/08/2014 12:42

You can get married pretty much anywhere in the US. Marriage is a matter of state law for the most part (which is why same sex marriage is legal in some states and not in others). You have to get a license (in my state, a portion of the license fee helps fund domestic violence shelters) and there are only certain people who can officiate; these include priests and pastors of churches, judges, other state officials, and in my state notaries.

PunkHedgehog · 20/08/2014 12:48

UK student accommodation depends on the university but generally there is university-provided accommodation for first years (mainly single rooms in halls of residence, a small number of double rooms in halls, and some shared flats with single rooms for around 6-8 people). Second years almost always live out in house-share that they organise themselves. Third years may have the option of moving back to university accommodation if there's enough space.

Class needs some clearing up. Kate Middleton, for example did not marry into the gentry - she married into royalty. Officially there

Royalty - kings, queens, princes, royal dukes.

Aristocracy - hereditary titles, but slightly lower down the ranks. Non-royal dukes, hereditary knights and baronets. Note that non-royal titles (particularly the non-inherited ones) can be awarded to anyone for service to their country so aren't necessarily a class indicator if they are first (or only) generation.

Upper class - what was formerly known as the gentry or landed gentry, because they had land to give them enough income not to work but didn't have titles (although there may be a bit of trickle-down of Honorables). Because of the inheritance and expense of upkeep problems described above many of them don't have the land any more but usually still have enough family money floating around for the odd trust fund or at least an expensive education and some subsidy from parents afterwards that makes it easier to get into jobs that require long unpaid internships or low paid training, such as the bar. The alternative is that they've kept the land but have no money beyond the bare minimum to keep themselves in gin and labradors. Tricky to define, but hard to to move into this class, it's certainly not a 1-generation step.

Middle class - divided into at least upper middle and lower.

The line between upper and upper-middle is pretty thin unless you are a close observer. Again they tend towards private education and jobs like barristers or the higher ranks of the civil service.

Middle-middle - probably the largest class, huge spread of school types, jobs and incomes but usually university educated. Very easy to move around the boundaries of this class and across into the other sections of the middle class in terms of job and education, but for those who care there will be speech markers that give away the exact strip of this class that you grew up in. Toilet, loo, or lavatory? Settee or sofa? Lounge, living room or sitting room (drawing room probably boosts you up into upper class unless it's a points deduction for trying too hard)? Napkin or serviette? Supper with friends or in your pyjamas? Afters, dessert, sweet or pudding?

Lower-middle class - harder to spot the non-linguistic clues these days, now that there's not a simple university or polytechnic divide and 'office work' is such a broad category. In terms of new socioeconomc classification I think this is C2, whereas middle-middle is C1. Traditionally probably the lower levels of office work, or manual trades that need a high level of skill and quite a bit of further/continuing education such as gas engineer.

Working class - trades that may still need quite a lot of skill but of the sort you can pick up primarily on the job rather than needing to go to classes and take tests - mining and factory work are the classic examples. In the service industries maybe reception and shop-floor work, non-celebrity hairdressers. The switch of the economy from one to the other left a lot of unemployment in this class, particularly older members and those in areas that relied a lot on heavy industry. The old view - or the current one if you're a politician or a Daily Mail writer - would assume this is the class represented by the 'deserving poor'. Movement from here to lower middle isn't too difficult, but further than that is getting increasingly hard as higher levels of education get more expensive and lots of jobs are closed to people without degree - not because the job needs a degree but because the push to open universities to all means enormous numbers of people have them and other types of education are increasingly difficult to get or unvalued.

And at the bottom? The undeserving poor, the scroungers, the shirkers, people who don't open their curtains before mid-day. Or alternatively those who have been failed by the education system and fallen through the gaps in the safety net. Officially described by terms like 'hard to reach groups', which may reflect the fact that a government that regularly spouts words 'scroungers' perhaps isn't trying that hard to reach them.

PunkHedgehog · 20/08/2014 12:51

I think summer schools and camps are much less popular in the UK, partly because I think we have shorter holidays. Usually 6 weeks in the summer, 2 weeks each for Christmas and Easter, and a 1-week half term roughly in the middle of each term. Boarding schools may skip the half terms and have slightly longer holidays because of the problems of boarders getting home for just a week.

CheerfulYank · 20/08/2014 12:58

There are a lot of sexual assaults on college campuses every year. :(

I (rather naïvely) never felt unsafe though, because I was surrounded by so many people all the time.