Ooooh a wedding related one!

[HollyGuacamolly]

My friend is getting married (I was supposed to be BM but can't due to pregnancy) and she really wants the bridesmaids to wear a certain colour wedding dress (purple), the actual dresses haven't been chosen yet just the colour, the bride is paying for the dresses.

Two of the bridesmaids are saying they don't want to wear

Agree with Ragwort. I think the whole concept of weddings is prissy, princessy & totally self indulgent. Grown adults dressing up in matching gear... I dunno! My neighbourhood is a top Hen / Stag Party destination & I think the gangs of silly games guys & gals are akin to kids on a school trip.

As a bride, I'd have looked at the colour together with the bridesmaids. I wouldn't want anyone to be uncomfortable for the day. As a bridesmaid though, I'd wear whatever the bride asked me too well, within certain limits.

Re hair, I think that's dictating too much - everyone should be able to choose how they wear their own hair.

I haven't been a BM that often but each time I was, the bride had ideas about what my hairstyle should be, and each time it was put into practice as best I could given the limitations of my hair. It was never cut though. The most common was either to curl and set, or french plait.

I don't understand why having adult BM is self-indulgent. In My Day (admittedly 30 years ago) the purpose of BM was to help you in/out of The Dress, flirt with the Best Man and fend off drunken uncles. Small dc aren't much use for that...

This no longer being My Day, I still think if the bride wants her BM in purple, and the BM want to be BM, and the bride is paying for purple frocks, the BM should wear said purple frocks with good grace. (Though I did consukt on both colour and style with my only BM, my sister.)

Bride pays, bride decides. End of thread.

Don't the BM's dresses always match the colour scheme? Actually having written that it sounds unbearable naff but that's the way it's been at every wedding I've been to (including mine). The bride always gets to choose the colour.

I do think it would be VU for the bride to dictate the BM's hairstyles though.

The BMs are being unreasonable, the bride gets to decide which colour they wear. If you don't like it, opt out of being bm.