To ask ideas on excuses for ILs?

[Mrsbagface]

I know this will sound mean but we have just moved house and now have two spare rooms. One will be a study and the other could be a spare bedroom but I am deliberately not going to make it one.

The reason for this is that Pils are nightmares. Horrid to kids at times (Shouty, bad tempered) annoying, bitchy (mil) and just quite awful actually. We see as little of them as possible. Anyway mil has said oh, we can come and stay with you now! They are v tight and spend their lives as guests to other people. If I let them stay once they'll be here once a month. Can anyone think of good excuses?

Just don't put a bed in it?

Buy a very uncomfortable futon.

This was the only thing that stopped my pil's regular visits which they would arrange before telling us. I did struggle to keep a straight face during the three hours of moaning the next morning, apparently I should have somehow known what their preferences were for beds and purchased one to suit in case they fancied visiting without asking first.

They haven't stayed with us again though so it definitely works.

Empty the room, install a rack, some chains and a swing. Tell them you don't have a spare room, just a "playroom" for you and DH.

X Post with Fluffy !

I think you need to be realistic, for this to work in the long term they need to decide that they don't actually want to stay.
Very uncomfortable secondhand bed, someone was throwing it out!!! How useful and you are "up cycling" therefore being kind to the environment!
Ask them to bring their own bedding, you don't have any spare!
Give dc very many favourite sweets and keep them up late.

never put a bed in it, it's a playroom/second living room for when the DCs are older.

Teach DH to say "we do'nt have a spare bed, it's so lucky you live so close."

"The room is haunted."

"We are going to be setting up our own BnB"

In all seriousness though, I would perhaps suggest that in the interest of good family relations you will have to accept that they are going to visit.

However I would get a very large calendar and block out most of the weeks of the year. Explain that they can only stay a week at maximum because you have other plans for the room (or what ever period you can bear - a long weekend) and don't be bullied into any more.

I'd go with not getting a bed for it. At some point in the future you could buy a bed and not tell them but at the moment just leave it as a store room. When you do have a bed there just tell them you don't like having people stay over as its too much hassle and isn't it great that they live near enough to go home to their own comfortable bed.

Why would they come and stay if they live locally though?

If MIL knows you don't like them and they don't like the children why are they so keen to come? Are they very close to your husband?

Sofabed plus exercise bike and rowing machine ?

Table tennis or just a play room with space for train sets etc and lots of bean bags and cushions. A single futon for an occasional adult or child guest..

Billiards room?

Last time mine visited they got our bed and we slept on the uncomfortable blow-up mattress, so the "lumpy futon" may backfire.....

Get an exercise bike/treadmill/ergo that you can fold up and put flat against the wall when not in use when friends are staying plus a couple of dumb bells and a poster of Jillian Michaels/mirror for yoga. Voila! 'Home multigym.'

I agree with the 'no excuses' approach. Just tell them you don't want them staying as they're often not nice to the DCs.

If my DP invited anyone to stay without asking me first I'd kick his arse. I suggest you adopt this mindset with your DH.

My PIls regularly used to invite themselves to my Sil for up to two weeks, we didnt have room, then we moved to a bigger house and they came for lunch to see it.
They didnt go home for 4 days!!!! It turned out they had brought a case of clothes "just in case".
I had such a paddy on the 4th day that they left and never did it again. I still dont understand why they wanted to stay, all they did was complain about me and the horrendous food I cooked for the whole 4 days.

Can you out something really annoying in the spare room which whistles or whirs and slowly drives them to leave?

'Stay? Oh goodness no, we'd never put you through that. After the way you shout at the children after you've been here a couple of hours - could you imagine what it would be like if you stayed? I really do think it would be such a bad idea and so stressful for poor you, I really do. In fact, I think if it happened once we might even fall out and that would be so terrible, wouldn't it MIL, imagine you staying and us falling out because of the stress you poor people would be under and it leading you to treat the children even worse than you usually do, and we ended up not speaking and you not visiting ever again? I would be so upset, it just isn't worth it IS IT MIL?' (voice getting harder and harder and eyes getting more and more STAREY as you continue talking...)