To think queuing etiquette is just going to pot!

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I'm British and there's nothing I like more than a good queue (except perhaps a nice cup of tea and a sit down) but it seems to me that the skill of forming a proper queue is going to the dogs.

Every morning at my regular bus stop I have to contend with people who were there before me standing at the wrong end of the shelter and leaving a big space at the bus end, so if I want to be protected from the mild drizzle I have to "push in" ahead of them, or people wandering about and not standing still. I mean, the odd shifting from foot to foot while sighing and looking at one's watch is one thing (I'm not a monster) but really people, make an effort.

WIBU to sneak along one night and mark out neat little numbered squares so there can be no confusion or ambiguity?

Cubans have the bus thing sussed.

Person arrives at bus stop shouts "ultimo?" (Last?)
Last person to arrive at stop gives a Latino nod
New "ultimo" returns almost invisible nod and stands wherever s/he wants to
Next person arrives, shouts "ultimo?"... You get the picture...
Bus arrives and people arrive from all over the place but get on the bus in perfect, non shoving order, climbing aboard behind their own personal ultimo.
It's really quite clever.

I have to share my friend's queuing story with you all. During one of London's many tube strikes, my friend was at the front of a very long bus queue when a city boy type ignores the long line of people waiting patiently, and pushes in behind my friend. BEHIND him, so he's now second in the queue.

My friend observes this, and rather than remonstrating him directly, he turns to the little old lady who had previously been behind him before Pushy McShovesalot came along. "Excuse me," he says to her, "would you like to go in front of me?" "Oh yes please young man" she replied, and moves up the queue, leaving my friend in second place and Captain Pushy in third. My friend then turns to the person in fourth place and invites them to go in front of him, and then so on with the fifth, sixth, etc. Eventually by this method my friend makes his way almost to the end of the queue - almost, of course, because a now-fuming Captain Pushy is still behind him. At this point, the little old lady who's now at the head of the queue turns to my friend and says: "excuse me young man - would you like to go ahead of me?"

Now that's how to deal with a queue invader!

Oh yes, there must be the requisite minimum number of inches between queuers at all times (did I mention I'm British?) but not enough to fit a medium-sized pony standing lengthways between them.

We only have one regular smoker at our bus stop and they do have the good manners to always stand at the far end and if anyone else joins the queue they move back. This display of repeated courtesy has elevated them to the status of recipient of a small nod and tight half-smile from other regulars. In British queuing commuter terms, that's akin to being invited to someone's wedding.

ooh TheBookofRuth I would have LOVED to have been in that queue!

Just got back from France and had a queueing debacle - a massive family of French people just walking to the front of the tour bus despite the rest of us queueing - gah!!!!

There is a very precise distance which one needs to calibrate when queueing. Not too close, not too far apart.

And here's a thing - getting served in pubs. My own personal bugbear. It should be like any other form of queue - instead it's just blatant grabbiness from the queuers and favouritism from the bar staff.

Yes. Bars make me very nervous!

I used to work in a busy bar and at the time I had a photographic memory, so I used to be strict about saying "no, she's next" to would-be pusher-inners and serve accordingly, because I could remember who had come to the bar in what order.

I used to work in a busy bar and did not have a photo memory, so the people who said "please" and "excuse me" got served before those who just shouted "oi I'll have..."

Loving the Ultimo Queue (TM) - such a neat idea.

I too used to work in a bar and part of the training was focussed on the importance of remembering queue order. As you can imagine, it was mostly memorising one significant detail from each customer. It didn't matter which one, as long as you didn't accidentally use it as a moniker when getting round to serve them.

What can I get you, big nose?

(Joke, I used to use clothing/hair colour cues).

So I am well able to map places in bar queues, now I am on the other side. And I have no problem making my displeasure clear if someone pushes in.

Off topic but a tip to getting served at a busy bar is to move sideways. Staff become conditioned to expect forward movement / pushing, so someone moving sideways against the general flow catches the eye.

Book of Ruth, loved it. That old lady was up to speed, she topped the joke. Certainly gave me a chuckle. Wouldn't work in the queue I use in Bromley. No one knows which is the beginning. To confuse the issue seats have been placed outside the the bus shelter but in front of the actual bus stop. When a bus comes there is a jostle to the front of what you would expect to be the front of the queue. Then others join the queue in any order. Thanks for the laugh.

Ooh, I had two queuing situations this holiday. The first actually caused my DD a lot of problems. She hates going to the toilet in strange places and has to be coaxed, else she gets constipation. So, I was very relieved when, in a restaurant she said she needed the toilet for a poo. So I get up, take her to the only toilet to have a woman dive in front of me. Let that one go, as it was unclear who was first. I stay by the toilet, with my small child, reassuring her that it won't be long, keeping a slight distance from the door as is polite to stop the lady being crowded. However, a man then stands right by the door, clearly intending to dive in. I gave him a look but when she came out he went in (they were together) I said VERY loudly, "Excuse me, EXCUSE ME, WE WERE NEXT." But he ignored me. I thought about saying something when he came out but didn't see the point. He know what he was doing.
DD having then had to hold it, couldn't go and was uncomfortable for the next two days.

Two days later there was a long queue for icecream at a beach. DH and my Dad were in the queue. 5 times in front of him one person was holding a space for the rest of their family. Fair enough except 3 of them were small children holding the space without any money, so the child would get there, and not be able to order until the parents descended. One of these was holding the space for 2 families who were nowhere to be seen and he was visibly distressed because he could neither order or pay for 9 ice-creams. Lots of muttering, but obviously no-one was going to be mean to a child. I thought that was a really mean and lazy trick. Leave the kids on the beach and queue yourself.