To find it hard being strong after hubby as a heart attack

[twitchypalm]

HI all, This probably isnt the best place to post this but it has high traffic here. my hubby had a massive heart attack 48 hours ago we were minutes from losing him but luckily we have the best cardic unit in the country close to us and we got there in time. he has had one operation and is waiting for another.

Watching my hubby nearly die in front of me scared the living daylights out of me. All people keep saying to me is you need to be strong now. I make sure when i go to visit him every day i am happy for him and dont show him how im really feeling.

However once i get in the car to drive home i breakdown in tears. Ive been cryng myself to sleep at night. last night i slept with the pj top he had been wear as it smelt of him.

AIBU o want people to stop telling me to be strong as its bloody hard.

So glad he's back home twitchy. Ignore family and do what you want/need to do. It will take both of you some time to get over the shock and stress, and after a heart attack, DP will be totally knackered, so he will be doubly knackered.

Lots of R&R for the time being. Have you got a cardio nurse who is going to visit? Do you have lots of dietary/exercise info to read and digest? If so, don't try to get through it all in one go. Just take everything day by day and take the time you need to recover mentally and physically from what you've both been through.

and a nice cup of [tea]

OP it's so easy to say be strong and so difficult to be it. My DH had a health scare (not nearly as severe as yours though) and my DS had major surgery all within a week of each other. Stuff being strong, I completely fell apart. Look after yourselves first, don't worry about upsetting other people, especially if they're making unhelpful comments. I've started using the phrase "I'm sorry, I can't deal with this right now" and putting the phone down on people who spout insensitive rubbish. Congratulations on your engagement too.

Hope your both doing ok, congrats on the proposal!

Glad he is home. It is not easy being strong. My DH had a mild (thankfully) heart attack and scared the crap out of me. If family hassle you tell them the doctor said no visitors as it is too stressful. Tell them 'Surely they don't want him back in hospital'!!

Take it easy and follow all advice. Be ready for him not to sleep well. My DH couldn't sleep and they told him it was very common because sub-consciously he was worried about not waking up. Every time I called his mobile (I told him to carry it with him throughout the house) I would panic that he was answering. Before trying again I was thinking how many times do I try before I rush home (never had to)
Lucky isn't the right word but someone I know was going through the same thing. It re-assuring to know everything I was thinking she was as well.

It is also ok to sometimes think 'what about me - I haven't had the heart attack but it is still difficult for me'.

Congrats on the engagement and keep us updated.

Hope all is well twitchypalm. My DH had mild heart attack 4 years ago and was in hospital for our first wedding anniversary. I promise it will get easier. I can really empathise with ChillySundays as I was paranoid about DH taking his mobile with him wherever he went! Even now if I can't get hold of him for a bit I get a fleeting "what if...." thought.

Be kind to yourself, modern medicines are wonderful. My DH had a stent and is on several sorts of tablets but can run 6 miles and climb hills (grumpily )