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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To get the police involved?

62 replies

MagersfonteinLugg · 17/08/2014 22:19

I will try to cut a long story short.
New family on the street, 2 boys age 11 low level bullying of my DS (6) on the park across the street. They broke our wall, and I took the trampoline down in the back garden because they kept throwing stones over the fence which ended up hitting my DS on the shoulder. Told the parents who made them apologise, but the little incidents kept happening (broken scooter, swearing at them, etc)
Last week one of the twins threw DS onto the ground and broke his collarbone. Spent all evening in A&E getting x-ray and assessment. He was given a sling to wear but no plaster cast obviously.
Informed the parents who promised to sort it and keep their boys away, but low level harrassment continued all week. Their main beef is that they don't believe he has a broken collar bone so call him a liar out on the park, etc.
Today they harrassed my DD and DN whilst they were picking blacberries and swore at them then they thre Dss scooter into the brook. This evening I heard them effing and blinding at DD again.
It takes a lot to rile me but I lost it and called the police who were very nice and told me I had done the right thing. They arranged to visit me on Tuesday.
DD was on the park so I went out to fetch her in. THEY were also there and started about DS again, how he was a liar and his collar bone was not broken and I was lying just to get them into trouble. I was calm and told them that we would see what the police thought about when they came to see me, then went inside with DD.
5 mins later I had a huge bodybuilding skinhead on my doorstep shouting abuse in my face and telling to stop fing overreacting. I explained this needed to be sorted as he had not done anything to stop the harrassment and he basically told me to Fk off, along with another member of his family who came along .
I just told him to leave and the police would sort it.
I was really upset and shaken, but I really don't think IABU to involve the police in the first place.
Was I?

OP posts:
gimcrack · 19/08/2014 07:10

Youc

gimcrack · 19/08/2014 07:11

You can see where the kids get it from.

You're doing the right thing. Your poor DS and DD, it's not fair.

Icelollycraving · 19/08/2014 07:28

Yanbu. Is there any chance it's rented or HA as they won't want hassley tenants.
Poor ds. Poor you,that must be really frightening. Ignore them (hard I know) & let the police know exactly what they've done. I suspect it's not the first time.

ChasedByBees · 19/08/2014 07:44

Don't give up! Report this too. It's the only way it'll stop and you are protecting your children.

eddielizzard · 19/08/2014 07:49

start writing every incident down. tell the police EVERYTHING.

to do nothing will not make them stop. you have to be heavy handed so they see you coming and they run the other way. seriously. you have to make it not worth their while. and if that means doing whatever the police say, do it.

and your dh needs his head examined. he's quite happy for his children's lives to be a misery? and you're overreacting even though you're a prisoner in your own home?

how about your dh take a day off and watch what happens?

PloddingDaily · 19/08/2014 10:06

I'm sorry you're going through this, we've got some awful neighbours too & it can make you feel terrible. You did absolutely the right thing getting the police involved - people like this will just keep pushing until someone pushes back harder - which is what the police are for. It might also be worth checking whether your local council has an antisocial behaviour team, as they can work in partnership with the police.

Like pp's have said, log everything, report, report, report. The police gave us a ref number to quote when we called, so it was all linked. In the end we got cctv fitted, & after another flurry of abuse / aggression (which the cameras proved) the police were able to have some very blunt words with the horrible neighbours & things have quietened down. One last thing - If you think there may be any reason this could be a 'hate crime' mention that to the police too - it gives them more weight to use I think.

Best of luck & heartfelt sympathy - it's awful when you feel stuck living next to aggressive arseholes! Just remember they are the ones with the problem, not you! Thanks & Wine.

PedantMarina · 21/08/2014 06:13

How did the visit with the police go? Please tell us you didn't cancel it?...

lunar1 · 21/08/2014 06:20

I hope they have stopped the harassment. You can see where the children get their behaviour from.

SquinkiesRule · 21/08/2014 07:51

Did these awful people buy the house or is there a landlord you can complain too letting them know the police are involved?
I'd call the Police each time they came round and tried to intimidate you.

Rosa · 21/08/2014 07:55

Thing is they won't stop will they ? You pull out then you are seen as easy prey and the children will torment even more as the parents will have told them that you are weak.

bubalou · 21/08/2014 07:56

What happened with the police op?

I think they sound horrendous and you did the right thing completely.

They sound like scum. Agree about what one poster said about login every sone thing in a notepad with date and time. Trust me from experience.

Also what another said about who owns their property - landlord, council etc - there will be someone you can complain to.

Dolly80 · 21/08/2014 08:43

You've described constant intimidation of your children, your son being physically injured and now you being intimidated/threatened.

Do not let them make you feel guilty. They are in the wrong for allowing such behaviour and the Police and/or other agencies (eg letting agent) should be informed so they suffer the consequences of there actions.

Also, if these twins are exhibiting similar behaviours towards others, for example in school, the family may already be known to services. Therefore, the current assistance you are hopefully getting from the Police might also inform professionals who are trying to make the changes it sounds like the children, and their parents, need.

Best wishes, I hope you continue to work with the Police and some resolution can be found for you and your children ??

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