To ask for a child free hour every weekend?

[DoYouThinkSheSawUs]

So I'm now a SAHM to 2 DDs, 1 is 3yo, one 9 months. They are lovely but the elder is very hard work, and the younger doesn't sleep well. As babies don't and I'm fine with that.

We are on a budget to enable me to SAH, so dd1 does not attend childcare, although she will be starting preschool with her free hours come September.

DP does work hard, comes home and helps with bedtime, and does DIY at weekends. He also attends an exercise class after work one day a week, and has a day at the weekend whenever he wants do for his hobby - normally one a month currently, but can be every other weekend depending on season.

I am feeling overwhelmed, knackered, and just want some time for ME. Maybe start running again, or just go to a coffee shop, and dunno, read something in one go not snatched 5 minutes....

But DP will never offer, he says I gave to tell him when to take the kids. So I said Saturday (today), but we end up doing jobs and visiting his parents instead. So I said tomorrow, but we are meeting friends, and he has got to fix the car....

It never happens. He will take dd1 for a bit, but not both. Evenings wouldn't work as the baby wont settle for him in the evenings and will just get upset, and she will wake as well so can't go when ages asleep.

WIBU to just head out the door tomorrow? And again next weekend?

Have you pointed out then when you're an adult with children, that's what life is - work, kids and chores around the house. He's bloody lucky to get a day a month!

Do a run - walk - run - walk round your neighbourhood, then have a coffee with a paper in the pub.

Definitely don't go shopping!
You need time on your own, doing things you love.
Ideally a course on a Saturday, with other adults. Start a new hobby, do something not child related. You have money to fund dh's hobby, so there is money for your new hobby.
Imo the only way to keep sane with little ones.

Maybe start with taking a book to a coffee shop and figure out what you would like to do in the future.

yanbu, I hada potter round the shops yesterday pm alone and I came back feeling great

didn't even buy anything just made an extensive wishlist that ive posted in s and b lol]

Yes I would agree to booking something which involves paying so that way you have to go. For eg swimming lessons, keep fit class etc. I find thats the only way I can go out if the threat of losing money looms in the horizon.

Check the running clubs out or a park run plenty have spaces for newcomers, so you will be running with people who are like you getting " back into it"

If today your meant to see friends and he has to fix car then say " ok I will go from 9-10 and you have the kids then. I will then look after the kids from 10-12 and get stuff ready for us to go to friends and you have from 10-11.30 to fix the car"

get organised and make it so dh has to be too really.

I went for a coffee, and did the shop. :)

Next week end I am off running though to try to build my fitness back up - not been since pregnant with dd1 3 years ago and 2 stone ago!

How do I find park runs for really unfit not run in years she now fat people like me? Had a quick google and nothing came up....

Good first step! Well done

Google 'park run'. It will bring up the national site and you can search for your nearest one. They're really friendly runs organised each weekend across the country.

If you're willing to post which area you're in we may be able to help find a running club too. And it doesn't help your issue with dh, but loads of gyms have crèches too. My one where I used to live kept me sane!

YABVVU to ask for only an hour. In our house SAH parent gets all of every Saturday morning (to loll in bed or go spoiling around town alone, as desired). And that's after coffee in bed. WOH parent gets lie-in and coffee in bed on Sunday.