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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To give my 7yr old a dummy

51 replies

sezamcgregor · 16/08/2014 19:39

To try to get him to stop sucking his thumb?

He sucks his thumb when "he's tired" which can be quite a lot.

I've total been and bought some dummies and have told him to use one of those instead and then when he Jo longer feels a need to suck his thumb, the idea is to get rid of the dummies.

It's only going to be when we're at home as I have some time off work coming up.

His thumb gets sore in winter and I think that 7 is old enough to stop doing it - but it isn't like I can cut it off!

Any wise words MNers?

OP posts:
Stampysladygarden · 16/08/2014 20:39

How about sensory chew/sucking products. Like the pendants they can wear around their necks.

eragon · 16/08/2014 20:41

they don't stop. plenty of adult thumb suckers around!

slithytove · 16/08/2014 20:44

I sucked my thumb till I was 13. Teeth are fine and I stopped on my own.

It doesn't have to be an issue.

catkind · 16/08/2014 20:45

For us, it's having a visible effect on DS's teeth. Understand that it doesn't affect teeth for all children - maybe a different suck, maybe just less of the time. But for DS it does, he had beautiful straight teeth at 2, at 5 the upper ones point out and the lower ones point in.

If he doesn't stop before his adult teeth come in we're likely talking braces, expensive for us and unpleasant for him. It's in his interest to stop, but he's 5 and doesn't think that long term so I kind of feel we have to for him.

He also has a very large crack in his thumb which is always raw. If it hurt him badly he might stop. I'm more concerned about the risk of infection. Again, risk is not something a 5 yr old really understands.

Will chat to the dentist next time we see him.

puntasticusername · 16/08/2014 20:46

To contrast the "leave him be" comments - honestly, sorry but I WOULD try and address it. I had a university friend who sucked her thumb the whole time. It did adversely affect her teeth, and unkind people made fun of her for it.

Paloma12 · 16/08/2014 20:46

I am 36 and I still suck my thumb!

ICanSeeTheSun · 16/08/2014 20:54

I still suck my thumb when I am asleep, I thought I stopped but DH took a few photos over numourous nights which proved it.

DontstepontheMomeRaths · 16/08/2014 21:16

My son is 5.7 years old and I'm of the school of leave him be. It brings him such comfort and he has ASD, it really soothes him when upset or tired. I couldn't comprehend stopping him right now. But I'd heard of thumb guards.

I stopped on my own, I'm hoping he will. Naive maybe but right now it would distress him so much to make him stop.

But I wish you well with thumb guards. I hope it works for you.

mommy2ash · 16/08/2014 21:31

if you bin the dummies surely he will just go back to sucking his thumb

lyndie · 16/08/2014 21:35

Mine had squint baby teeth and palate was affected so they had to stop, they were 5 and 8 Shock

I taped up their thumbs for a whole summer! Used zinc oxide tape which us tons cheaper than thumb guards. I gave them an hour off before bath and put it on before bed. They were fine and haven't sucked their thumbs again!

Anyone who thinks that's cruel and I should have left them hadn't seen their teeth.

Janethegirl · 16/08/2014 21:39

My son is now an adult but still sucks his thumb. I used the nasty tasting stuff on his fingers but he got his dsis to suck it off (she didn't mind the nasty stuff) and he's got a female friend who also sucks her thumb. I just try to stop him sucking it in public.

Janethegirl · 16/08/2014 21:40

Nothing wrong with his teeth tho.

dementedma · 16/08/2014 21:50

Leave him be.
I thumb sucked into my teens with no adverse effect. He's only wee still!

Eggybread00 · 16/08/2014 22:08

We used a thumb guard when my daughter was 4 following a trip to the dentist. We made her feel the decision was hers by emphasising what the dentist had said and and letting her choose a reward for stopping, we didn't over tighten the thumb guards so she could actually remove them but we were really lucky I think because she wanted to stop she said they reminded her not to suck her thumb, she wore them constantly for 10 days and then just at night for another10 days. I cannot believe how well they worked and she has not even wanted to suck her thumb since. The summer holidays are a perfect time to crack it so the guards don't need to be worn in school.
I think they were about £60, it wasn't anywhere near the drama I thought it would be. I also trimmed them a bit at the thumb joint and tip to make them more comfortable.
Good luck, all he has to do is break the habit for 2 weeks, then he won't look back!

Eggybread00 · 16/08/2014 22:21

Ps- re the thumbguard itself: it turns the thumb into a 'straw' so when they suck they suck air in rather than getting comfort from the vacuum sucking creates.

I do think its best to deal with it sooner rather than later, if he ever goes on a residential or sleepover at a friends he may he conscious of it but need the comfort the habit enables him.

My dd used a teddy as well as her thumb, we still left her with the teddy even though there was an 'association' with that and her thumb. Eventually the teddy also lost its specialness and any teddy can go to bed with her now!

backwardpossom · 16/08/2014 22:25

31 year old thumb sucker here Blush

GoogleyEyes · 16/08/2014 22:35

I'd wait for an opportunity like his thumb is sore, then ask if he wants help making it better. Ask him what would work - cream and then a plaster, or a special thing you can get him (thumb guard) etc.

It worked for dd1 - she had a nasty bike tumble, didn't want to suck her thumb as she'd grazed her face and she was worried she'd make it bleed again by touching it, and we agreed on a solution together. Once her face had healed, I praised her a lot for not thumb sucking, she carried on sleeping with a sock over her hand so she couldn't suck by mistake in her sleep, and all was good.

LizzieMint · 16/08/2014 22:37

Thumbsie - this is the one we used.

QuietBeforeTheStorm · 16/08/2014 22:54

I would very much he would use the dummy. It would get chucked aside in favour of the thumb.

No offence but I think the idea is pretty bad.

Leave him be. I sucked my thumb till I was 12, perfectly straight teeth too.

Thisvehicleisreversing · 16/08/2014 23:02

MIL painted green nail varnish on DH's thumb and told him it was poisonous. Bit cruel but it worked. Grin

AgentZigzag · 16/08/2014 23:04

Have to agree with jaffacakes 'As long as he is happy, well and thriving it just doesn't matter. He will soon stop anyway.'

He's obviously getting some security from sucking it, wouldn't it be difficult for you to take that away from him?

If he sucks his thumb he's never going to get what he's looking for from a dummy because it's a completely different shape/texture. So long as he's not doing it in 'public' (to shield him from teasing) it's part of him until he decides otherwise.

JapaneseMargaret · 16/08/2014 23:09

The only person who can stop him sucking his thumb is him. When he's ready.

I sucked my thumb, and my parents tied everything. Noting worked. One day, I just didn't want to do it any more.

I understand their frustration - it was ruining my front teeth and I needed to have expensive braces as a result, but nothing was going to stop me.

Shazam24 · 17/08/2014 00:57

I wouldnt give him a dummy, like some posters have sait its just swapping one habit for another

My sister (whose now 24 ) sucked her thumb as a child & still does now! Her teeth are lovely. I sucked my fingers lol. Made myself stop when i was about 14 & i have lovely straight teeth.

Id really just leave him to it. Its his thumb n if he complains about it being sore tell him it wont be sore if he stops sucking it.

Only1scoop · 17/08/2014 00:58

A 7 yo with a dummy....no.

Tikimon · 17/08/2014 01:16

It's kinda encouraging regression a bit, don't you think?

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