To ask if blended families can ever work?

[Myrandomfamily]

When you're both bringing DCs into a relationship with an ex wife or husband looming in the background.

Can they only work if finances and the like are kept separate? Or am I just being silly

I think you are going to have to provide more info on exactly what your concerns are OP.

My XH has a new partner who has her own DC. My DC do not like her DC. She does not like one of my DC.

It all makes XH life rather difficult I am sure and I am very anxious if they go on holidays together as I know DS is on the receiving end of abuse from "stepmother" and is being irritated to high hell by "stepbrothers".

DD refuses to go anywhere with stepbrothers.

I am sure there are plenty of mumsnetters who will tell you they have brilliantly blended families though and hopefully they can share their top tips

I have a blended family all DC now adults youngest 25. I think we have worked been a family for 18 years. 6 DC between us and 10 grandchildren and one due in September. I was there when my first DGD was born. We do not use the step word which often leads to raised eye browns as I am mixed race and many of the DC and GDC are blonde.

There has never really been the other parent looming in the background as both our exes were out of the picture for equally awful reasons. I treat all my DC with love and as does my DH. life is not always easy but we have a wonderful bond and they fill our life with joy.

Whilst finances are important, I think the priority has to be the children. Rivalry can re rife between actual siblings much less blended families. Having grown up in one it's not something I would ever inflict myself on DS.

You know I am relieved you said that daisy, I feel the same really.

But so many people seem to meet new people after their marriages break up; I wondered if I was weird!

This is our biggest reason for me and my partner not to live together for many years because none of our children would like it and I think we would lose at least two of the four to our exh so that they wouldn't have to. It is hard enough trying to get them to accept relationship and we rarely involve both families in activities to save upset and hassle. If it was just the two of us we would have moved in together straight away. Then of course there is my exh to add to the mix who doesn't make it easy either.

Mine works but it has not always been easy.

My husband didn't have children though so that was easier. I had three from my first marriage. Two with my current husband.

Our main hardship was from my inlaws. After 8 years of knowing my children from when they were tiny they still treated them differently to my husband's bio children. It hurt them, hurt us and we had a massive bust up and now only see them when they come to pick up their bio grandchildren. Very unfair and often quite mean treatment. This did lead to some sibling rivalry because of resentment but this for the most part has been dealt with now.

The first year of getting with my husband was rocky in the sense that my ex caused a lot of grief but after that we all became really close. He remarried and she is now a close friend and we all were like a little family.

I say were because he died 8 months ago.

My children never resented my husband, because they were young I think they just accepted him.

After the first rocky year we all worked together and put the kids first. No arguments over money or visits, we were friends and helped each other out as much as we could. I miss our little family now he has gone.

So I would say that mine works and we have had an easier time of it than most.