is it ever reasonable to tell another grown up how they should be living their life?

[ithoughtofitfirst]

Or more how they should not be living their life?

Can't even be specific as the bombshell I've just had dropped on me by my ever increasingly dysfunctional family is just too horrible to repeat. It will definitely upset a lot of people.

Someone really close to me really needs to distance themselves from certain people, leave their partner and just generally fucking grow up and start acting their age. Otherwise I want nothing to do with them for the safety of my family.

Wibu to just be honest and tell them so? Or is it never ok to tell someone else how to live their life?

Does it impact on the dc living with that person?

For the safety of your family, just drift away from them until it's safe to go back.

If it's affecting your family and their safety then no, this is definitely not unreasonable!

If what I've just heard about said family member is true.. they should NEVER be around children. As It stands they don't have any and I hope they never do. I don't want them within a ten mile radius of mine the way I feel at this moment In time.

OK. If it's as bad as I think it is you would be better off keeping them away from you and yours, until ALL doubt is removed.

Thanks everyone. I wish I could just break away from them some days. But that wouldn't be very nice of me. I've just worked really fucking hard to achieve the world of normality that I live in for other people to just drag me and my dc and dh into their messes.

Why do you have to be nice to someone who is indirectly putting your family at risk? Do whatever is right for your immediate family. If someone in your family is prepared to set up a situation that could put your DC at risk then they aren't very nice to being with. Just because they might have got themselves comfortable with some "it was a long time ago /misunderstanding / they've really really changed" sob story doesn't mean you have too.

Begin not being - autocorrect

If you are talking about safety of your DCs, I would say you need to take the decision they can't be in your DCs lives, up to you if you want them to be part of yours, but never your DCs. They don't see your DCs, you don't talk about that person in front of your DCs, you don't take your DCs to family events while they are there.

Also, I'd tell them you've taken this decision and why. up to them as adults what choices they make, but you can be clear and consistant.

no you can't tell other people how to live their lives but if you don't agree with it then you keep yourself away

You're probably right mommy I can't really do anything other distance myself from it. I wish it didn't have to be this way :(