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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

CSI. Seriously? AIBU to think that it's bolleaux?

66 replies

Salmotrutta · 15/08/2014 22:38

For a start, crime scenes are covered in tents and shit here in the UK.

There would never be a scenario where a murder victim's body would be wheeled out in full view of the vultures press with Micronesia being poked in the faces of detectives as they go about their business.

Would that really happening the USA?

Because if it does then the USA is doing it wrong?

And another thing: our SOCOs (scenes of crime officers) here in the UK wear disposable jumpsuits and face masks to minimise contamination.

But apparently "Horatio" and his team don't have to.

Hmm
OP posts:
firesidechat · 16/08/2014 07:31

If you're going to talk about CSI please don't use the Miami (Horatio) one as an example. It was always far and away the most ridiculous and annoying one. The original is the best by far and hence the only one they are still making.

The science is mostly made up, but I love it.

AbbieHoffmansAfro · 16/08/2014 09:05

Surely the single most stupid thing about all the CSi programmes is that the CSIs apparently investigate the entire crime rather than just do the forensics. The detectives seem to be completely superfluous.

TheCunkOfPhilomena · 16/08/2014 09:10

Is David Caruso the one that can only be viewed in profile? I secretly think he's 2d in real life and would be better suited to cartoons, poor David Sad

I do love CSI but haven't watched it for a long time. It just wasn't the same after Gil left.

Lweji · 16/08/2014 09:22

But I don't think medical examiners act like cops either (Silent Witness).
We have to take these shows with a huge pinch of salt.

I'm usually amazed at how quickly they manage to analyse DNA.

ipswichwitch · 16/08/2014 09:29

I love the fact that each of the CSI team have, at some point, been kidnapped by a "perp". I hope they get danger money, what with all that going undercover, waving guns about and being tied up in the basement.

And don't get me started on the amount of their own hair and "epithelials" they must have collected, since they always rock up wearing heels with perfectly done hair (god forbid it should get ruined by wearing a sweaty tyvek all in one!)

Ad how are they all experts in everything? They know it all from tyre treads to handguns. Frankly with that level of knowledge rye should be ruling the universe or something.

In spite of all that, I love it! :)

iklboo · 16/08/2014 09:32

The Vegas one - Brody wears so much make up she looks like a panto dame!

It all started with Quincy, though (the Coroner solving the crime, not the make up wearing).

BigglesFliesUndone · 16/08/2014 09:35

My DH works as a SOCO -they did call them CSI's for a while, but changed it back, which was really annoying as I used to love calling him at work for him to answer 'Hi, DH CSI speaking'
He refuses to watch even Coronation Street when there are crimes being 'solved' as he gets so infuriated. It is not in the slightest bit glamorous, very boring and painstaking work, and he has to explain to every single person we meet who goes 'oooh, I'd love your job', that, in fact, they probably wouldn't!

It's such a popular career option that they have around 600 applicants fresh from forensic science courses for each post - and the pay is appalling.

Lweji · 16/08/2014 10:30

And how are they all experts in everything?

Yes and no. Somehow they end up explaining the most basic stuff to each other. So they are both very knowledgeable and very ignorant somehow. Wink

Lweji · 16/08/2014 10:32

I actually applied for a job in a forensics lab as I was waiting for my PhD studentship decision and was called in for an interview, but the decision had already come. Way before it was popular.

Ilovenewts · 16/08/2014 12:12

Science in it is awful. I remember them doing a flashback with QPCR testing just becoming available - made it look as though it took ten minutes. Load of shite but I love the show !!

Original poster
Salmotrutta · 16/08/2014 12:28

Now I'm not saying I don't love watching it mind...WinkGrin

OP posts:
ICanSeeTheSun · 16/08/2014 12:34

I have never watched CSI, but Bones is the same no tents or disponsible wear.

oldgrandmama · 16/08/2014 12:39

CSI? It's OK, but I adore 'Dexter' (got the box set of the whole series Blush

ScrambledSmegs · 16/08/2014 12:42

I remember watching a programme about real SOCOs and the work they do. It was fascinating. Could have watched a whole series.

I realise why CSI don't make their show more realistic though, as a lot of their more ludicrous plot lines hinge on liberties being taken with science and procedure. And it's fun.

Sadly it seems many people take it as gospel though, as my eye-opening stint on jury duty showed me. The people who refused to convict a drug dealer on watertight evidence (witnesses, CCTV etc) because there was no DNA test ordered was a head-desk moment.

CarbeDiem · 16/08/2014 13:47

YABU
I love CSI Vegas. It's the only one I'll watch.

The Vegas one - Brody wears so much make up she looks like a panto dame!
Agree.
I still wish that Grissom will come back.

LoxleyBarrett · 16/08/2014 13:59

You can't being Quincy in to this - he was my childhood hero!

I've never watched CSI but it does sound like utter tripe!

DinoSnores · 16/08/2014 14:23

mrsmorton, I've a copy of a police statement that I made as a junior doctor, a senior house officer, in which I apparently describe myself as a "senior housing officer". Grin

Mrsmorton · 16/08/2014 14:27

Dino Grin that made me laugh. So hard to say what you want to say in words that are easy to spell for a layman.

Loving senior housing officer. Who else would work in a hospital treating victims/perpetrators of crime?

alwaysdoinglaundry · 16/08/2014 14:37

It's TV. I'm a doctor, I knew that ER was total rubbish (particularly the episode where someone in the ER needed a liver transplant and a dying patient in the next bed happened to be a match) but its very watchable TV. did you honestly expect it to be realistic?

Lweji · 16/08/2014 18:03

What I hate about these shows is when there's an ubber criminal and/or conspiracy theories and it all becomes very 24 and we end up missing the plot or need to start concentrating too much.

I like logical processes and clever twists. The rest requires artistic licence.
It's not as if there could ever have been a real life Miss Marple either. :) Or a Mentalist consultant to the police.

Lweji · 16/08/2014 18:05

Oh, and this is MN. We can say bollocks. :)

OnIlkleyMoorBahTwat · 16/08/2014 18:54

My area of expertise has occasionally featured in CSIs, NCIS, 24 etc and they always get the technical details spectacularly wrong.

I considered offering my services as a consultant Grin.

LividofLondon · 16/08/2014 20:59

I used to love it when it first came out (with Grissom) but am not so keen on the newer castings so no longer watch it. I could look past the fact it's a load of bolleaux factually, but the CSI women with all their make-up and dangly long hair really grated on me.

MrsBeeZed · 16/08/2014 21:26

CSI, NCIS: Meh. They could never touch the skills of Jessica Fletcher. Total intuition and zero science to correctly solve murders one hundred percent of the time = genius.

Original poster
Salmotrutta · 16/08/2014 21:28

I always wonder how the conversations between the producers and consultants go...

Producer - So how long does it take to fully analyse a DNA sample?

Expert - Probably at least 36 hours (disclaimer: arbitrary timescale)

Producer - Yeah, well, let's make it 2 hours.

Expert - Shock and fade to head in hands shot...

OP posts: