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AIBU?

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Original poster

Revenge or leave it?

26 replies

Bardette · 15/08/2014 11:40

Last year my childminder decided to move back to Canada and offered to rent us her house. We were expecting dc3 and liked the house so agreed, we talked about maybe buying it in a couple of years time.
Last August they left and we moved in. We didn't hear from them again.
Fast forward one year and the house is being repossessed as they haven't paid the mortgage since they left. It turns out they owe thousands in loans, credit cards, hp etc. We have had bailiffs visiting and they are getting 3-4 letters a week demanding money. They replied to one email in January to say it wasn't their fault and they were applying for bankruptcy and were going to let the house go. But since that, nothing.
We have now moved out but the stress, uncertainty and expense has made the last few months miserable. DD was born in February which was lovely, but all the time the worry of being made homeless was in the background.
DH believes they stitched us up, I like to think they didn't mean to.
So...
After some sleuthing I now have their address and phone number in Canada. What would you do? DH would dearly love to fly out there and have it out with them. I want to write and explain just how horrible the last few months have been. Is there any point? I just feel so used and let down.

OP posts:
londonrach · 15/08/2014 11:42

Have you been paying rent. I think you need a trip to cab.

YouTheCat · 15/08/2014 11:44

Send the bailiffs their details and let them deal with it.

TheGoop · 15/08/2014 11:45

Sounds like they were just taking the rent money and not paying the mortgage.

Just pass the address on to their mortgage company and to the other people seeking payment and let it go. You are in a new house, you haven't lost anything but your old home.

PenisesAreNotPink · 15/08/2014 11:51

I wouldn't be visiting them. And while I understand it's horrible to be visited by bailiffs they can't do anything to you. I would just ignore them and it's possible the mortgage company may communicate with you if you're paying rent as they will have to inform you of the sale date as you're a sitting tenant.

I would get some legal advice.

PenisesAreNotPink · 15/08/2014 11:52

Sorry, I missed that you'd already moved out. Good luck in your new place

Original poster
Bardette · 15/08/2014 11:57

We did go to CAB and got lots of good advice. We were paying rent but as long as we had the required amount of notice from the mortgage company we had to leave.

OP posts:
Viviennemary · 15/08/2014 12:03

They acted in a very irresponsible way running off to Canada and leaving behind a mess. I don't see the point in your DH going all that way. Not sure if I'd bother following it up. It would depend on how hard done by I felt and my present circumstances. If you are happy now maybe it would be best just to let it go.

diddl · 15/08/2014 12:06

It must have been awful for you all.

But fly out?

And do/say what?

if they even see you!

Sounds a complete waste of time and money tbh!

heraldgerald · 15/08/2014 12:07

Pass on details to any loan companies relevant.

Why spend your own money pursuing them? I don't think you'd get the apology or recognition you want from them.

So sorry you went through.

WooWooOwl · 15/08/2014 12:07

I wouldn't bother writing, you won't know if the letter has been read, and even if you do get a response it's unlikely to be one that will make you feel any better.

They knowingly did what they did and it went on for a long time, so it's unlikely that a letter detailing just how shit it was for you is going to have an effect on them. You risk ending up feeling worse if you don't get a decent response.

Just pass their details onto the bailiffs.

SiennaBlake · 15/08/2014 12:08

They already left you in the shit without a care. A letter would just get an eye roll and chucked in the bin. You can't make people care.

heraldgerald · 15/08/2014 12:10

*this.

A letter might help you move on. But you'd need to write it knowing you very well may not get any kind of response from them.

Fwiw they sound like arseholes.

Thumbwitch · 15/08/2014 12:13

I realise you're now homeless but are you out of pocket? Can you deal with the mortgage company and see if you can buy the house off them once it's been repossessed?

There really is zero point your DH wasting time and energy on the no-hopers in Canada though. Let it go.

MsAspreyDiamonds · 15/08/2014 12:14

Just give the mortgage company/bailiffs their address & leave it at that.

Groovee · 15/08/2014 12:14

What a horrible way to treat someone. I really don't know what I would do!

Pyjamaramadrama · 15/08/2014 12:19

I'd just leave it. You've nothing to gain from pursuing them.

If you're in a position to buy could you look to buy the house once it's repossessed? It may go at a good price.

EmmanuelWoganberry · 15/08/2014 12:30

Write the letter if you think it will be cathartic but don’t post it, there isnt much point. I echo what everyone else has said just pass the details onto their creditors, I have sympathy for people in deep debt but they sound like awful shits leaving you to face the bailiffs etc, I hope it catches up with them.

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 15/08/2014 12:39

What has happened is not nice but its not worth pursuing. Going to Canada would just be throwing money away. Pass on their details to any creditors you find.

However, you haven't been cheated out of any money. You paid rent and you lived in the property. What you have suffered (and this is not meant to minimise the trauma) is the loss of the security that you thought you had. Unfortunately, that is nearly always the reality with renting property in the UK.

I am sorry this has happened to you but I wouldn't waste any more time and energy on these people they really aren't worth it.

WaywardOn3 · 15/08/2014 12:40

Put it on Facebook for all to see? Hope they see it and are ashamed of themselves?

That seems to be what most people are doing these days and it's far cheaper than a trip to canada

Audeca · 15/08/2014 12:54

Did you pay a deposit and was it protected and the required information served to you within 30 days? If not then you could take them to court and potentially be awarded up to 3x the deposit (not sure how effective this will be if they have no intention of returning to the UK).

Was the property managed by an agency and did you pay the rent to the agency or was it direct to the landlord? If direct to the LL I'm going to assume - given the way they behaved - that they probably weren't paying tax on their rental income. You could look at shopping them for that?

Bettercallsaul1 · 15/08/2014 13:10

I see no harm at all in writing them a letter, just telling them what a difficult time you have had and the stress that this situation has caused you. I would keep the stress on your feelings and be non-accusatory - after all, you don't know exactly what happened and there might possibly be some extenuating circumstances. I think, after the problems they have caused you by their seemingly irresponsible and reckless behaviour, this would be a justifiable and psychologically healthy thing to do. If they have behaved as badly as it seems, a heartfelt letter from you might actually jog their conscience and you may at least get an apology - and it might prevent them doing this to someone else.

I certainly think going to Canada to confront them would be futile and absolutely not worth the cost, effort and stress involved. However, I don't see why you should do nothing and sending a letter may well give you closure.

wowfudge · 15/08/2014 15:18

I'm with Bettercall on this one - get it off your chest and move on.

Pass their contact details on to the bailiffs by all means. Chances are they don't have the money to make it worth your while to pursue for the costs you incurred. There's no way of knowing what they did with the rent you were paying them, but I strongly suspect it has been spent, possibly on subsidising what wages they were earning in Canada.

If you've already lost money, why on earth would you incur the expense of travelling to Canada to give them a piece of your minds? If you have the funds, take a holiday somewhere you would like to go and have a relaxing break instead.

MiscellaneousAssortment · 15/08/2014 16:43

As someone said up thread, you can't make someone care.

I really really wish you could, but you can't. And you end up making yourself more upset by trying to show them how much trouble and heartache they've caused, whilst they just do t give a shit no matter what you do or say.

There was parallels to the dynamic in an abusive relationship - where one uses alot of time, energy and emotion trying to get the other side to 'see' what's happened. It doesn't work them either :(

Anyway, maybe write a letter to them so you've got it off your chest but either don't send or do send but don't expect an answer,

Topaz25 · 15/08/2014 17:15

I can understand your anger but definitely don't fly out there, that's way OTT! You sound like you are just getting back on your feet so can you really afford to spend that much money on flights just to fight with someone? If you do have the money, why not spend it on a nice, relaxing family holiday instead? Living a good life is the best revenge.

Littlef00t · 15/08/2014 18:08

Presume you've given their details to all the debt collectors. I doubt very much seeing them or writing to them will affect them, but write a letter if it will make you feel better, but don't expect a response.

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