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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think it's probably not worth me having driving lessons in a manual??

47 replies

VelvetSpoon · 15/08/2014 07:22

so, earlier this week, much to my surprise I passed my theory test (yay!) which means I actually now need to get on and do some driving lessons in order to take (and hopefully pass) the practical.

The backstory - which is prob relevant - is that over 20 years ago as a teen I had a LOT of driving lessons in a manual. I found it REALLY hard, and used to get into a proper flap about changing gear. I took 3 tests and failed, and in at least 2 of them I failed at least in part for gear related issues.

About 10 years ago, my then P bought a people carrier (which was auto) and persuaded me to go out in it, and I found it incredibly easy to drive (I had also driven his previous car, which was a manual, and found it just as hard as I had as a teen to 'manage' the gears), and started having driving lessons - although I then for financial and other reasons had to give up before test stage.

I should say I am not a 'natural' driver, I find it really hard (I am generally a bit unco-ordinated and clumsy, for example it took me a long time as a child to learn to ride a bike and I still cant let go of the handlebars when doing so!) and just think the added complication of gears - now I have passed the theory and actually want to drive - is one thing I could do without, and that I might pass much more easily (even though I still think I will struggle a bit) in an auto than a manual.

My lovely bf has been trying to persuade me to do manual lessons, partly for practical reasons (because he has a manual car and the mad fool is actually prepared to take me out in it to help me practice) but also because he thinks I'm great at everything I do Blush and will easily master a manual, and also of course because it gives me more choice of cars once I've passed etc.

I just don't think I can grasp the skills of changing gear though! And I REALLY want to pass now (I never thought I could pass the theory, so now I have am filled with enthusiasm) and I just can't face doing months and months of lessons and still not getting the hang of gear changes....

OP posts:
KenDoddsDadsDog · 15/08/2014 07:25

I was exactly the same as you - and eventually took automatic lessons. Passed first time ! I just couldn't do gears.

KnackeredMuchly · 15/08/2014 07:26

I would try 3 more manual lessons - then give up

DoubtfireDear · 15/08/2014 07:30

Can you let him take you out in his car, say for 5 lessons, if you are still absolutely sure about the gear thing, then you look for automatic lessons and get an automatic car.

I think its reasonable to give it another try, for the reasons your bf has mentioned.

d

Longdistance · 15/08/2014 07:33

Have a few manual lessons first, see how you get on. If not go to auto, they're so much easier to drive.

I passed 7th time in a manual, and I'm a very good driver for it, whereas my dh passed first time, and he's a terrible driver.

Pugaboo · 15/08/2014 07:37

It would definitely be handy to have a manual licence. More modern cars tend to be a bit easier to change gear in etc so maybe give it a go at least.

I would call a few driving instructors and ask their advice too.

Well done on passing your theory.

nooka · 15/08/2014 07:42

I learned to drive a manual, but always found it very stressful driving, we didn't have a car for years afterward (lived in London and didn't really need a car). When we did get a car I found I just couldn't face driving at all.

Many years later we moved to North America and dh said I had to drive. I now have an automatic (pick up truck!) and it is so so easy. You just have to steer it and basically press stop or go. I took the view that driving an automatic would get me comfortable being on the road, conquer my fear of driving and that maybe I could then learn stick shift again. In practice though I have no wish to drive a manual and so I still don't drive dh's car. Which he finds a bit annoying, but hey, it's much better than refusing all driving.

In short if you can afford an automatic then I'd go for one. In theory it's better to pass a manual test and then you have the option of both, but if you don't think you will pass then there's not really much benefit! An option wodul be to find a driving school that does both, take the first couple of lessons in an automatic and then ask your instructor to judge how well you are doing, or try a lesson or two with gears added into the mix.

ChangeMyHappy · 15/08/2014 07:45

I have a friend who struggled with a manual car, and eventually passed her test in her late 30s (after a looong period of not even trying).

She looked around and found a driving instructor who specialised in older (ie. not 17!), nervous or struggling learners.

May be worth a try?

If not, much more important that you feel confident and safe, whatever car you're driving!

ChoccaDoobie · 15/08/2014 07:50

I got an automatic after 20 years of driving a manual, I absolutely love it and would've got one a lot sooner if I'd known how brilliant they were!

UnderThePink · 15/08/2014 07:52

Congrats on passing the theory!

I was exactly the same as you so switched to automatic and passed very quickly. My instructor commented that's it's only the British that continue to "torture" themselves by learning manual when the rest of Europe happily drives automatic. Might be a slight exaggeration but I see where he's coming from :)

Apart from a few silly "you're driving a bumper car" comments from my family it's been the best decision I made - you can always learn manual later! :) Good luck!

pigsDOfly · 15/08/2014 08:02

Congratulation on passing your theory.

I passed my test many, many years ago on a manual but now drive an automatic, and have done for a long time.

I advised my children to pass their tests in a manual because it does give you that extra dimension - you say you DP has a manual and if in an emergency you had to drive his car you could. But how often is that going to happen?

There are a few negatives with automatics, but not major things imo.

You will find automatics tend to cost slightly more to buy but it's not a huge difference.

Don't let people put you off by telling you automatics aren't as nippy, that they won't get you from 0 to 60 as fast as a manual. That used to be so many years ago when autos were fairly new here. It's not the case in modern cars but for some reason the idea lingers on in some people's heads.

A lot of people feel that autos aren't as easy to control in snow or icy conditions. I've driven in snow loads of times and have felt perfectly fine; I've seen loads of cars abandon at the side of the road in snow. I've always managed carry on driving safely.

My daughter's partner passed his test on an auto and he has to do a huge amount of driving in his job and it's never been a problem. When he's had company cars autos have been provided without question.

I love driving an auto and wouldn't go back to driving a manual. I feel more in control with an auto and just find it a pleasanter drive.

Perhaps have a few lessons in a manual to see how you get on if you feel you have to. But if you're not happy or you feel nervous about all the changing gear faff, pass your test in an auto.

You'll make a better driver if you're confident with what you're doing. As lovely as it is that your DP is willing to take you out in his car for practices it's what you feel comfortable with that counts.

gordyslovesheep · 15/08/2014 08:05

I'd keep going with manual it took me a long time for it to click but it did.

WitchWay · 15/08/2014 08:09

When I learnt to drive in the 80s, automatic cars were all big executive models that a teenage driver would not have been driving anyway, so learning in a manual was the only option.

Automatics come in all sorts of shapes & sizes now, so it would not be much of a disadvantage to be unable to drive a manual, apart from possibly when hiring a car.

A trend's daughter learnt in an automatic because she couldn't "do gears" - made a huge difference to her & she passed first time.

WitchWay · 15/08/2014 08:10

friend not trend - Hmm

melika · 15/08/2014 08:15

I drive both, auto is nice and easy, but sometimes acceleration does not happen like a manual car especially when you need it. I would persevere with manual, like already said, modern cars are much easier. You would be limited to drive an automatic, you wouldn't be able to jump into any car, it's like having half a license.

It's up to you, if you think you will only drive autos in the future.

lucidlady · 15/08/2014 08:20

I have just passed my test - I went for manual lessons and yes I felt like giving up so many times but persevered. Passed first time and since then have only driven autos! I'm glad I did the manual test though as I never need to think about it again.

IceLemonGin · 15/08/2014 08:32

I'm in the same boat OP. Been out in OH's car for hours and had lots of lessons - the gears just haven't clicked, they make me panic which obviously isn't good for the other aspects of driving.

I'm going to start automatic lessons in a few weeks and if I find it easier, we're going to sell the current car and buy a small automatic. My Dad has made comments about it being half a license but if it's between struggling in a manual or passing in an automatic, I know what I'd rather!

Original poster
VelvetSpoon · 15/08/2014 08:40

I'm a bit reluctant to spend ages trying to get to grips with a manual, like I said I did have a LOT of lessons previously (albeit a long time ago) and really struggled. Driving an auto definitely is much easier - and I've only got 2 years at most to pass, I can't afford to be like I was first time round where it took about 9 months of lessons til I even got to my first test!

Am thinking maybe of doing 6 hours of lessons (there's an offer on with a school near me at the moment for 6 hours at a reduced price) in a manual, and if I still find it too difficult, switching back to auto. At least then I've tried!

If/when I do pass, I would be tempted (subject to whether the premium is affordable) to buy another people carrier as I found our old one so easy to drive, as many of those are auto, that shouldn't limit my choice too much. Although I do appreciate it will do generally, I won't be able to drive bf's car, etc. But still better than not being able to drive at all!

OP posts:
Thenapoleonofcrime · 15/08/2014 08:45

My husband failed his manual test spectacularly, having never driven til his mid-thirties. It was an unmentionable subject til we hit on him driving an auto, he's never looked back, passed easily and has had advanced driver lessons in his automatic. We buy an auto as our family car as I also find driving an automatic easier, although I do still use a manual car from time to time.

We have had nothing but good experiences in an auto, and if that's the easiest way for you to get on the road, then I would go that route. Some guys are a bit funny about driving an auto though, imagining they can't be boy racers if they don't have gears, but pretty much all the men I know who drive for a living (e.g. sales, long distance) use autos- the higher end of the market have superb autos.

Thenapoleonofcrime · 15/08/2014 08:47

As for the half a license business it does depend if you are happy to have an automatic as the family car. We are- so it's not half a license, as you can hire them anywhere so there's never a time you can't access an automatic. I have found acceleration differs depending on the make of car, some are a bit sluggish, others are pretty nippy. I quite like the more stable nature of an auto drive anyway.

Scrumbled · 15/08/2014 08:55

I did pass my test in a manual but drove automatics for 15 years. I recently changed to a manual and was a bit apprehensive about it but modern manual cars are so much easier. So it may be worth having another go in one just because there are advantages to being able to drive both.

Automatics are great and if you feel that its the way you'll get on the road go for it.

SeattleGraceMercyDeath · 15/08/2014 08:56

My dad teaches in an automatic and is never short of business, there's obviously a market for it so if you're in the north east I can give a personal recommendation. I drive his car whenever he is away on holiday and I quote like it, do whatever makes you comfortable, you can always learn manual when you're a bit more road confident although you'll probably not need to.

Original poster
VelvetSpoon · 15/08/2014 09:21

Ah thanks, but I'm not in the North East unfortunately!

OP posts:
BeetlingAbout · 15/08/2014 09:32

I'm a nervous driver and although I passed in a manual, I really struggled with my anxiety as well as the gear changes once it came to driving without my instructor.

DH agreed we could get an auto and it really made it so much easier for me. I'm still a reluctant and nervous driver, but it really helped to take the fear of stalling, or not being able to find the right gear etc...out of the equation.

Anomaly · 15/08/2014 09:39

I have no problem driving a manual but love my automatic and am unlikely to switch now. I really wouldn't stress about this just pass in an automatic. If you're stuck in stop and start traffic they're great.

My car does allow you to switch to manual mode if you want so I can choose the gear if in difficult conditions but its not been necessary in the 4 years I've had the car.

Andrewofgg · 15/08/2014 09:57

I passed on a manual but have driven automatics for about ten years. DW was against it until she had her knees done and was back on the road much faster than she would have been otherwise!

But last year I arranged to rent an automatic. When I went to pick it up they were sorry, but it had had an engine failure and at short notice it was manual or nothing. I was not pleased but at least I had a car.

So please give it a go. Manual gearboxes have improved a lot and you have every chance.