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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think for some people sexuality isn't always set in stone?

8 replies

squeaksqueakgoesthemouse · 14/08/2014 20:33

I say "some people" because I'm aware that for lots of people sexuality is set in stone - they're either gay, straight or bisexual (or whatever) and that's all there is to it and nothing will change that.

However I do think that for some people it is more complex than that and their sexuality does change throughout their life. I'm pretty sure my sexuality has changed at various points in my life. I say "pretty sure" because I'm still trying to work out how that would actually work.

I have heard of other people having a change of heart throughout their lives (mostly women, but also a few men) and their sexual preferences changing at different points in their lives so I do think that sometimes it's more complex than people just being born that way.

I've also heard the theory that people who are fluid with their sexuality are actually bisexual therefore it's easier to be fluid and be attracted to either gender at various points in their life IYSWIM. But I'm not sure if I would label myself bisexual, I just really think it changed.

OP posts:
LRDtheFeministDragon · 14/08/2014 20:35

Yes, I can believe that.

If I look back at the people I was attracted to when I was 18 I can't decide whether to giggle or be horrified - so I am sure that attractions can change over time, and why not according to gender?

ICanSeeTheSun · 14/08/2014 20:37

I have never had sex with a women, never have fancied a women or felt attracted. To me I am straight.

I guess it could change, I'm only 28 and hopefully another 50 years on this earth left that a long time to be 100% on sexuality.

HumptyWasPushed · 15/08/2014 10:17

I agree. I ve been attracted to no other man except DH. I don't see myself as bisexual- I alidentify asa llesbian who happens to have fallen in love with a man.

WaywardOn3 · 15/08/2014 10:24

I'm straight and I doubt that will change but my best friend is gender fluid (which he tells me means he likes who he likes regardless of gender and including transgendered (is that the right term?) people)

GemmaWella81 · 15/08/2014 11:13

We all sit somewhere on the sexuality spectrum, sometimes one to the left, sometimes more to the right :-)

GemmaWella81 · 15/08/2014 11:13

More to the left... More to the right

MamaLazarou · 15/08/2014 12:03

YANBU

ginnybag · 15/08/2014 12:30

YANBU, they are a good number of theories now that think that's exactly what does happen. Tastes change over a lifetime, in all areas - why not this one?

Tbh, though, I think the whole topic is over-thought. You like who you like - who cares why? For some people that is, and may always be, one gender or the other. For others, it's both. For still others, the packaging is irrelevant, it's the person who makes the spark. Hell, I know a few people who have zero interest full stop!

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