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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think you should let other people have their celebrations without turning it back onto yourself?

10 replies

SurrealAndOdd · 14/08/2014 11:43

This is not really a first world problem, just something I saw on facebook a couple of weeks ago that made me think Hmm and again this morning where I was a bit more Shock.

Recently friends A and B have been to various birthday celebrations of people that neither myself or Friend C knows. Friend C was also celebrating her birthday around the same time. A made a facebook status about enjoying the celebrations tagging who she was out with. C left a comment saying she was really looking forward to her birthday next week and celebrating with A. On the night of C's birthday, B couldn't go as she was at another party. Someone at that party posted a photo and tagged B in it. C commented on photo saying it was such as shame that B couldn't make it to C's night out but hoped she had a good time anyway. I have had a few night out with C but do not know her very well and we aren't facebook friends. She comes across as quite confident and sure of herself yet sometimes (I feel) she needs to be centre of attention and monopolises conversations. I've heard her say 'well like I was saying before I was interrupted' when someone has said something taking attention away from her and she's trying to get it back.

I'll be honest that whilst I am not her greatest fan I don't see her enough for her to really grate on me. This is just an observation of her behaviour.

Are people that self-centred that they need to turn things back to themselves?

OP posts:
MaidOfStars · 14/08/2014 12:01

I think you are reading far too much into the comment.

An alternative interpretation might be that C was genuinely sad that B wasn't with her, but genuinely hopeful that B was having a nice time at the other party.

I've heard her say 'well like I was saying before I was interrupted' when someone has said something taking attention away from her and she's trying to get it back

This would be fairly standard advice to deal with people who interrupt (providing one has the confidence to deliver such a line). If she feels that someone has interrupted her, what would you advise? Because in such cases, it would actually be the interrupter who was trying to command attention.

Original poster
SurrealAndOdd · 14/08/2014 12:10

But she wasn't interrupted, the conversation seemed to have ended, the table was silent, then somebody else piped up 'guess who I saw at wherever, whenever' everyone started talking again. When that conversation ended, C turned around and said about being interrupted, said about one sentence which was nothing new to her original conversation and everyone then sat there in silence. Everyone had blank expressions on their faces and I know I couldn't think of anything else to say to further her conversation. Then I think someone else started a new convo about something different and her convo wasn't mentioned again.

OP posts:
Original poster
SurrealAndOdd · 14/08/2014 12:13

She's also known for coming up and interrupting other people.

OP posts:
MelanieCheeks · 14/08/2014 12:22

I fail to see how this is turning it back on herself. You are reading waaaaaay too much into inconsequential facebook chat.

Original poster
SurrealAndOdd · 14/08/2014 13:00

Maybe I am reading too much into it, I am a quiet person and I definitely feel I can't get my voice heard when she is around.

Typical conversations when she is around are
Me - I did xxxx last week.
Her - oh I did that, blah, blah, blah
A - how do it go Surreal?
Her - when I did it it went like this blah, blah, blah
Me - give up trying to get a word in edge ways.

A couple of other friends have also mentioned that she monopolises conversations
Her interrupting comment threw me, I thought she had finished speaking, and judging by the expressions on the faces of others so did they. And then when she carried on she didn't add anything extra, I felt really awkward even though I hadn't interrupted her.

I know if it was me I would have sent as seperate message to A and B rather than mention it on an existing post.

OP posts:
AlwaysHavingAGo · 14/08/2014 13:04

I can not make head nor tail of that op Confused

MargotLovedTom · 14/08/2014 13:05

Yes she does sound a bit Me Me Me. I wouldn't bother with her. If you have to be in a group with her you still don't have to bother with her. There's nowt else you can do unless you're willing to pull her up on it.

Salmotrutta · 14/08/2014 13:06

I'm fairly sure I know this person OP!

Grin - or another incarnation of her anyway. It doesn't just stop and interrupting others though. She goes that extra mile... and answers for other people too when someone asks them a question

Just can't be out of the limelight. People sigh with relief when she leaves the room.

Original poster
SurrealAndOdd · 14/08/2014 13:27

limelight yes that's it, she doesn't like not being in it and doesn't like it when it's other people's turn. I'd probably won't pull her up on it, don't see her much (luckily)
When I saw the post this morning my first thought was why did you have mention your birthday on a thread that was about someone else's. (Sorry if I didn't make that very clear)

OP posts:
ADHDNoodles · 14/08/2014 14:39

Well, growing up in a family where you have to fight to get your word in, I can tell you now, you won't win. Being polite or subtle doesn't sink in with these type of people. Being blunt just makes you look like a killjoy (even though you're right to be frustrated).

I just walk away. There's no point in trying to talk to people that don't want to listen.

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