Food in bedrooms

[chewingmum]

I was searching for my iPad charger (again!) and found lots of hidden sweet and crisp wrappers in my 14 year old DDs bedroom, which I know she has taken from our snacks cupboard without asking and eaten in her room. I challenged her gently and the response was strong denial and anger. We had this issue before. That time we resolved it by agreeing she can have sugar free gum (as long as it's binned in a wrapper after use) and water in her room, but all other food is to be eaten in the kitchen/diningroom and that junk foods have to be treats, not staples. It's really hard to get her to eat anything fruit or veg ever. she just pushes food round her plate at mealtimes even when it's stuff she enjoys and is probably a bit hungry between meals. I don't want food to become an issue, but I do feel I need to set a good example for later life at home, as her lifestyle and interests are fairly sedentary (despite my best efforts) and I know she chooses junk foods when she's at school . Am I being unreasonable in reinforcing the earlier rule? nb I tried only fruit in the rooms, but the definitions of what was fruit were stretched beyond belief!

I was never allowed any food or drinks in my room at all as a child. My Mumm now annoys me by drinking coffee in her room when she stays with me, but that's another story.

I think only gum and water is reasonable. Is there a way that you could reduce what is in the snack cupboard so she doesn't take more than you would like her to have? I wouldn't say remove it completely, as she is not a young child, but I think you do need to somehow restrict what she has.

YANBU.

I think it's quite common for teenagers to want to do this, I know mine do and I feel like I'm fighting a loosing battle sometimes! They eat quite healthily so it's mainly the hygiene aspect that bothers me, but I've found that nagging them constantly about it has led to them making more effort to try to hide the fact that they sometimes eat junk in their bedrooms. Which means that wrappers get put in the bin, and my main issue is sorted.

You could stop having crisps and sweets available at home for her to take. I rarely buy that sort of thing so if my dc want it they at least have to spend their own money and walk ten minutes to the shop to get it.

Thanks. I have been thinking about trying to reduce what we keep at home and will tackle that now. The kids are given so much sweet stuff/choc etc, and I often end up putting some in the bin! But I confess I have been persuaded into buying crisps and supposedly healthy fruit bars, etc in the last while, so I'm going to have to be more resistant to the cries of " everyone else in the universe gets crisps for snack"! I just hate how DD lies brazenly/tells me what she thinks I want to hear about so much now...and often convinces me too... I try really hard to be empathic, fair & reasonable, but I guess parenting teens is not a job for the faint hearted!

YANBU about food in bedrooms. Its just messy, yucky, crumbs everywhere, etc.
YABU to store junk foods at home when its an issue.

I agree about food in bedrooms. But be careful limiting junk - you turning it into a forbidden fruit and they'll start binging in secret. I would keep junk in but have-prepare lots of healthier snacks too for then to pick at. I know myself how easy it is to grab a packet of crisps or a bar of chocolate but if someone has made a big fruit salad or we've got hummus and carrot sticks ready to eat or flapjacks, I'll have those instead.

Hi op, I don't have a problem with food in bedrooms
Per my teens have bins for rubbish in their rooms and have to clean their rooms once a week too.

She's a bit too old to be asking for good isn't she? My teen lads ate constantly and the dds snack and by 14 they can but their own in their own time.

Push the healthy eating to help skin keep nice and to look good. Teenagers switch off at the health aspect.

I honestly think unless she's obese you should relax.

Sorry A bit old to be asking you for food! Bloody phone.

You will not win, you will only encourage the buying and eating of more junk and the wasting of more of your good food.

There is absolutely nothing you can do.

Schools bang on about healthy eating from nursery, the effect is that all DCs associate buying and eating what they want with being grown up.

The less fuss you make the quicker the novelty wears off.

Oh and high school food choices, queues, prices and lack of time available to eat magnify the problem really badly.

Limiting is useless if you're keeping an unlimited supply.

No food in the bedroom at all, that is just horrible. I don't know how people can eat breakfast in bed.
A small glass of water at night if needed but that's it.

Do you think she is binge eating? Is there an underlying worry?

God I love breakfast in bed. One of life's pleasures.

Breakfast in bed i understand only in hospitals or hotels... At home no way

I'm sorry but I'm a 28 year old women and for no love or money can I not eat sweet, choclate things when I'm due on. I would have hated my mum for limited something I need.

I agree about food in the bedroom, only water.

We have a no food or drinks upstairs rule, apart from water at bedtimes. DD2 once had a collection of empty,mouldy frube wrappers she was collecting in her room.

Miserable lot! There's something truly decadent about lying in bed with a cuppa and a chocolate bar.

As a teenager I remember there were few pleasures in life that were simple, but snacking on forbidden choc was just great.

I'd save the arguments for the big stuff, perhaps get some lower cal choc in like 99cal aero or cadburys bars and just let her get on with it. If that's the worst thing she's doing at 14 you're Lucky

Definatly agree Doing

My kids loved hot chocolate in bed and toast on a cold day all of us snuggled up.

I do have one acquaintance who won't allow food upstairs or eating In pjs but she's regarded as very uptight.

Really suprised at these responses.

I guess i'm uptight but its usually me who ends up cleaning, and its an activity i don't enjoy. Food gets messy, whether you want it or not. At least in the kitchen the surfaces are easy clean, unlike carpets, bedding, soft furniture.

I was trying to think why this was never an issue when I was growing up. I certainly ate junk food once I got to secondary school and had the chance. I realised that we just didn't have snacks at home. Perhaps some apples. If we were hungry we just had to wait until tea or perhaps make some toast.

My advice is 1) don't have the junk food in in the first place. 2) get her involved in preparing snacks that take a bit of effort and make it a shared activity - eggy bread or making flapjacks or something.

Oh yes Dog agree but i make the buggers clean their own.

We never had junk food at home, thought I did sneak sodas into my room when we had them.

It's just one of those novelties I guess.

Honestly, I'd just stop getting them. It's not good for anyone to be eating them. If she gets junk food at school, you're hardly depriving her.

I had to buy my own junk food and soda at school (back when soda was still allowed). I ate mostly healthy because I didn't always find the nickle and diming sucking my money up worth it. But I also didn't get money from my parents I had to earn it babysitting or doing odd jobs.

We weren't allowed food in our rooms growing up but we didn't have snacks i.e. crisps/chocolate/biscuits in the house either.

I don't have snacks in my house now either, just don't have stuff like that in - if we fancy something sweet we'll buy a bit of chocolate now and then or sometimes buy a bag of crisps each.

My mum used to get us to cook with her like Vivacia said and me and my bro love cooking now (& don't snack!).

I do love to have tea & toast in bed at the weekend though with a good book. Lovely.

I love a cuppa and biscuit or 3 in bed
Have never banned food from DC's rooms and to be honest it's never been a problem, DC 16, doesn't have food in his room, maybe a drink.
DD's are in their 20', used to have cuppas, biscuits,toast in their rooms but never anything more,
By the way, I do think at 14 your DD is too old to have to ask permission for food, I think it will have an adverse affect I'm afraid OP

At regular intervals, send your teens/child/children to their rooms to collect all dishes and food related items and put them in the appropriate place.
Or just yell "where are all the fucking cups?!" up the stairs when you run out. Whatever works for you.

Yeah by 14 my teens ate constantly so it would be impractical them to be asking for food.

Hi
Thanks for all the really interesting replies. I know its not a major issue, and I'm really grateful that we have nothing more challenging to deal with at this stage. BTW I don't make DD ask me before having food - the "not asking" was that some of the stuff was from her sisters' treat box. We always have loads of nice fruit (not just wrinkly apples and bruised bananas) and low sugar/salt/fat crackers, dips, etc available. To conclude, I think its just the same issue that all parents share - We are fighting against a food industry that invests multi-billion pounds in marketing and values profit over morality, so fresh blackcurrants from the bush in the garden find it hard to compete!