To tell the children today

[siblingrevelryagain]

After months of trying to put our marriage back together following my DH's affair, we have reached the stage where we both know it's over. We've been living separately but the DC (7, 5 and 2) think he is staying at Nanny's to do work. He's been round to do bedtime most nights and we've been on holiday and days out so for them it's been pretty much normal (he sometimes is away for work so they're used to not having him here all the time).

I am taking the children on holiday with my parents tomorrow, so would it be a good time to tell them today? My thoughts are that they are then going to a positive/happy place with lots of time to talk/cuddle etc with me and my mom/dad if they're struggling with it, and then they still have a bit of time before going back to school. Also, I'm hoping that it will reassure them that they'll still do stuff and have holidays etc with just me.

Or should I leave it until we come back?

Any thoughts or advice on when and how to do it when they're still so very little would be appreciated.

I would wait until after the holiday now rather than risk spoiling their holiday.

Thanks sirzy-I think that's why my DH wants to leave it (and because he thinks it might make it harder for them to then have a whole week without him)

You need to tell them together - if H isn't on this holiday, as I infer, then it's the last place to tell them. If you tell them without him then it would be too easy for them to think he was abandoning them or some similar misconstruing.

I'd say give it a clear week after you get back, if you can, but certainly a couple of days, then sit down together all five, and present a united front to tell them.

Hope you have a lovely holiday.

He's not coming on the holiday but we would be telling them together today (then me taking them off for a week). Still not a good idea though?

Wait. If you tell them today and then they are effectively 'leaving' their dad for a week they might fret for him in a way they otherwise wouldn't iyswim.
Tell them a few days after the holiday, so the 2 events aren't connected in their young minds.
Obviously I'm an internet stranger and you and their father know the children best, but my outside advice would be to wait.

No, wait until a time when he's going to be around more to reassure them.

Agree with others. Think telling them then going away for a week might think daddy has left them. A week is a long time to children. It's the older two who will understand more of this. If I was that age and been told this and then went away I'd want to return home to see my dad to make sure he still loved me. We as adults know he does but that week will seem a very long time without seeing him. Just enjoy your week away op and then tell them a few days later together. Holding your hand during this difficult time x

Thank you x