AIBU to think that just because you didn't mean to do something doesn't mean you don't have to apologise.

[o0]

Are people idiots?

Surely sorry is the exact thing you say if you didn't mean to do/say something that negatively affects someone else?

If you did it on purpose you wouldn't be chuffing sorry, would you?!

A recent example was my BIL playing a joke that caused me to get hurt. Not a big hurt, just a small bruise. But I didn't laugh and told him he'd hurt me. Everyone continued to laugh at the "joke" and made out I was humourless for not laughing.

I made sure to point out that I wasn't laughing as he'd hurt me, and an apology would have made me "cheer the fuck up," as was lovingly suggested to me. They still thought it was hilarious anyway and several said something along the lines of 'he doesn't need to apologise as he didn't mean to hurt you.'

No one got my point that I made at the beginning if this post and they all just at me.

My DC get the whole concept of 'sorry' better than the adults I know!

Do I have idiots for family or do you also find this with people?

I would always apologise for being involved in something that unintentionally hurt someone (or caused damage, or whatever). I don't like causing harm and I feel bad if I do, whether I meant to or not.

However, I can feel sorry and apologise even if I have done something on purpose (although I appreciate that apologies may fall on deaf ears at such times).

If you unintentionally offend or hurt someone, you apologize. If you did it on purpose or you stand by what you said, you don't.

Easy.

Also, just because you apologize doesn't mean the person has to accept it. I know too many people that have the "Well, I said sorry" attitude.

YANBU I had this same discussion a few nights ago when a friend accidentally punched me.
Me: You punched me. It hurts. Aren't you going to apologise?
Friend: I didn't mean to do it.
Me: I'd hope not but that's why you say sorry

Yanbu

YANBU. 'oversensitive' or 'humourless' can be an accurate description sometime. And sometimes it's a way to cover up cruelty.

Any decent people apologise if they've accidently hurt someone's feelings.

YANBU.

I agree that if you unintentionally hurt someone, then you should apologise. Not apologising implies that, at best, you don't care about having caused hurt to the other person.

The notion that you should only apologise if you deliberately hurt someone is a bit disturbing - to me, it almost suggests that they think it's okay to hurt / upset someone as long as you say "sorry" afterwards.

YANBU. He should have said " OMG I'm sorry-I didn't mean to hurt you". If he had meant it then no apology would be more fitting. He's a git!

What happened to cause you do be bruised?

YANBU!

People are shocking. I couldn't imagine not apologizing in that scenario. Of course I would be sorry - I'm sorry they got hurt, I'm sorry what I did unintentionally caused them pain.

Even if you didn't mean to do something, you apologize for the result of your actions.

I made a jokey comment in fb recently that really upset someone. Clearly I didn't mean to upset her. I meant it as a joke. But she was upset anyway. So I apologised unreservedly. On the thread itself and in a PM

Of course you should apologise if you upset / hurt / inconvenience someone. And hopefully they will be gracious enough to accept it

Also. No Yanbu

Alis, I was opening a tall gate, I had to reach through a small gap at the top to reach the latch and he grabbed my arm while shouting raar. It was meant to just make me jump but as I'm very short I was already really stretching to reach the latch so his pulling at me wrenched my arm and thwacked my wrist off the wood.

I knew it was an accident so if he'd said sorry I'd have called him a bugger then laughed.

In the situation described, most nice people would have said sorry. Because if you hurt someone unintentionally, if you are a nice person you are sorry - for the hurt, if not for the prank. Same as saying sorry if you bump into someone.
But then some people who demand apologies for something liek being disagreed with are whangers. 'You didn't 'like' my facebook post about [some sleb bullshit] and Idemand an apology'. 'You won't drive 90 miles to pick up a takeaway for me when I've just had my tree blown up in Minecraft, say sorry!'

I always tell the DCs to apologise if they have accidentally hurt someone (usually me!) - you are saying sorry for causing them pain, and whether or not it was an accident is nothing to do with it. Strange how some people are wired differently - it would never occur to me not to apologise if I had hurt someone, and have even been known to do it when someone has hurt me!