AIBU or PFB to think all children should have been treated equally at this workshop

[housebox]

DH thinks I'm being a bit precious but I feel quite put out by this.

We went to a large museum/gallery today and my two children attended a workshop that we had to book and pay for - we were all really looking forward to it.

The guy running it told the children that they would do some games but when they started he asked for volunteers and only some of the children (the ones that pushed themselves forward the most) got to be the main role in the games the others were included in supporting roles but not everyone got a go.

Then he did some further games where there were prizes but again not everyone won and so only around 50% of the children got anything. This caused quite a few mutterings and a bit of upset from the younger children who couldn't really understand why they didn't get anything.

There was then another game and some of the same children got chosen as volunteers despite the fact that there were still some children wanting a go who hadn't been chosen or won a prize.

At the end I thought the leader might give out small prizes to all the kids who hadn't got anything but he didn't.

Now I know that life isn't fair etc and of course at birthday parties, school, sports days etc I wouldn't expect my DC to get stuff just because and they wouldn't expect to either but considering I had paid for the workshop I would expect everyone to get a go at something and everyone to leave with a small prize. My DC didn't make a fuss but I know he was a bit disappointed and asked why he didn't get anything.

I am thinking of emailing and giving them some feedback about this AIBU

To complain about everyone leaving without a prize is precious, but YANBU over everyone getting a go.

YABU they have learned a life skill and are not bothered by the lack of a prize. It is important to teach your kids not to be materialistic either (doesn't sound as if they are) but you don't to create 'we've paid' attitudes.

I agree with your DH. It's good for kids to learn that not everything gains a prize if the effort isn't there.

As it was a pre-booked workshop (so known numbers) they should have run it so that everyone enrolled participated in the same number of activities (even if not everyone got every game).

A goodie bag at the end and only something token like a sticker for winning would also be a better arrangement at a one-off workshop event for younger children. But this is less important than ensuring equal participation.

Give them the feedback.

I agree send the museum some constructive feed back.
My guess is the person running it isn't used to doing exactly that kind of format.

There is an art to including everyone, but it's an art worth learning if you do something like that.

Probably lack of experience on the part of the person running the workshop, so feedback would be helpful so they can plan future ones better.

how many where in the workshop?

I think you are being reasonable to give feedback about giving every child the opportunity to participate.

I am not so sure about everyone getting a prize. I just don't think that is how the world works. Maybe a certificate of partisipation or something like that.

It isn't really the prizes that are the problem, it is the way that many of the attendees were not involved in the workshop activities. If an organisation runs a paid-for, pre-booked workshop then every attendee gets to try their hand at the activities.

YANBU

My son is still bitter years after a ( free) stilt walking workshop. There weren't enough stilts to go round.
Session one - not enough stilts, wait till next time.
Session two - same children had stilts as previous day.
Sessions three, four, five - as before. DS protested as he and several others had had no turns at all, an adult leader told him ' These kids are getting good at it now, so we're letting them practise so they're really good. Then they can be in a parade at the end of the week.'

I'm still cross now actually. Twenty years later.

If I'd booked and paid for a 'workshop' then I'd absolutely expect my kids to get a fair crack of the whip at the activity - that's the whole point of a workshop. I'd definitely give feedback.

I am usually one of those who say well they all cant get a turn, but I dont think you are being unreasonable or precious you would think all the children would get q litle prizevfor taking part, although sometimes they pick the kids who push forward as they know they are not shy iyswim but I dont think it was great they all didnt get something

Marcipex I would have been cross, too.

(a) There should have been enough stilts for everyone if they knew how many people were going to be there.

(b) Of course those who had the stilts on the first day were good - they'd been able to learn and practise on the first day. Those who didn't have stilts on the first day should have had them on the second day.

(c) Any others who hadn't had a go should have had a turn. The best ones should then have been chosen from all of them to determine to who was going to be in the parade.

It might well have been free but sort of workshop is it when most some of the entrants didn't get anything out of it except resentment?

I think if 50% of the children got little prizes, then they all should have got something. That is too high a percentage to teach the "well we can't all be winners" lesson.

I would complain OP.

I left constructive feedback today about an event being dominated by two children, one a know - it - all and one a show - off. It was free but I compared it unfavourably to the similar one the week before as I felt the children dominated and others missed out.

Thanks everyone will write a pleasant email with some constructive feedback!