To throw a party for DD on her cousins birthday

[RhinosAreFatUnicorns]

Prepared to be told I am... DD and her cousin (a few years older than her) have birthdays very close together. For the past couple of years I have held a family party for them both at our house.

This year I would like to throw her a proper party (hiring a venue) for her friends (and our close family too). But we are on holiday at that time and so the only possible date would be her cousin's actual birthday. The only other date would be 3 weeks after her birthday.

Am I overthinking this (often guilty of that, as a serial people pleaser/worrier) or being unreasonable? I don't want to upset my DSis.

Why not just ask your sister? It wouldn't bother me in the slightest if my DDis did this.

Is your Dsis likely to be upset? I don't think you are being U but maybe phone your Dsis and explain that this is what she wants this year.

Talk to your sister? See what she thinks?

Only if it's a joint party with a cake for your cousin too. Otherwise it would be a bit shit for her celebrating someone else's birthday on her own.

YANBU.

But I would do a friends party (say lunch time) followed by a small family party after. This way you get the best of both without upsetting anyone. Obviously cousin can be invited to bday party with friends but I wouldn't expect that they would come.

DS's birthday is on the same day as his cousin. This year it is a weekday so we agreed with SIL that we would have DS's party the weekend before and they could do theirs the weekend after. This meant DS's party being nearly a full week before his birthday, a bit confusing for a nearly 3yo, but never mind. Only then SIL insists on having the cousin's party on their actual birthday, which means DS gets to spend his birthday in a car for 2.5 hours each way. Why not wait until the weekend? It's also inconvenient for family who are working that day. Not the end of the world but annoying to us who would have liked to have a day of spoiling for DS.

Thanks. I thought I was being a bit U. DNephew doesn't live locally so he couldn't invite friends easily.

The only people he would know would be our parents, and then 10 or so toddlers so it felt a bit odd them all singing happy birthday to a 9 year old :)

I think I may look at a later date - or that's a good idea about having a morning party for her friends and then family party later. Might need to save up though as family party alone costs me a fortune! And be very organised :)