To smother DP with a pillow for snoring like a train?

[Azquilith]

Or should I give up and sleep in the spare room.

Murder is generally seen as socially unacceptable.

Honestly I don't know why there aren't more threads about the horrors of sleeping with a snorer.
Have you nudged him? Sharply?

But he's shaking the bed. And has just taken a gasping breath, held it, and then farted without waking.

If you kick him, will he roll on his side and stop?

Failing that, spare room.

I would take him to the GP though. It could be a sign of sleep apnea which can lead to further health problems if it's not treated.

Kick him out to the spare room.

His snoring - no reason for you to get in a cold bed

My friend and her husband always sleep in separate bedrooms because his snoring is so bad.

I could poke him, but would have to reach round DS, who is lying horizontally across the pillows. And also snoring.

Oh god that gasping breath. I find I tense up when he goes silent as I just know that thirty seconds later the huffalump-snore will snort from his mouth

I have never understood how the noise doesn't wake up the person who is snoring

typing this from the spare room where I have flounced to in a huff

I'll give you an alibi.

I may need you to return the favour some day soon though.

oO I'm in.

Rearrange DS, then use his feet to kick DH in the face til he wakes up. Feign innocent sleep.

Snoring is not done out of malice!

People do not slyly wake up and think 'Now will be a good time to wake up the person I love next to me'

I'm sorry, I really am.

But I snore

Can I join in with the provision of alibi's? DH currently keeping me awake with his snoring from the spare room!!

Ear plugs are good. Those foam type ones.
Shove one up each of his nostrils!