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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Soft play rage - WIBU?

31 replies

MillieH30 · 12/08/2014 21:48

Not sure how it came to this, but I got into a dispute about a ball. Possibly losing my grip on reality...

At soft play loads of coloured balls are brought out. DD (20 m) usually selects one and plays with it throughout the class. Today she rolled the chosen ball down a slide and it rolled to the feet of a pre-walker. He was crawling by his DM who was chatting to a friend. He put his hands out towards it but my DD picked it up and ran off with it. I rolled another ball towards him.

The next thing his mother dashed over and roughly snatched the ball from my DD saying "My DS was playing with that. Dont steal from babies". Cue my DD looking really surprised and then bursting into floods of tears.

I picked up sobbing DD, explained that DD had been playing with the ball and demanded it back. The mother then dropped the ball on the floor and walked off saying "well take it then if it means so bloody much to you. You'd think there are enough bloody balls here". DD got the ball and carried on playing. However as we were leaving the mother whispered loudly to her friend: "such a brat, so bloody spoilt. You'd think they'd teach her to share".

I carried on walking but was fuming. However when I told my DH, he found it hilarious that I got into an argument over a ball. Am now thinking perhaps he's right and am . What do you think, WIBU?

OP posts:

WorraLiberty · 12/08/2014 21:52

I'm sure people will focus on the 'roughly snatched' now, but did she really roughly snatch it...or did she just simply take it back from your DD and tell her not to take what her baby was playing with?

It does sound a bit funny though

mum9876 · 12/08/2014 21:54

You always get these situations at soft play. Try not to let it get to you. It's just a phase and it passes but it's quite stressful in the meantime. Just smile and carry on (with your ball).

Pinkrose1 · 12/08/2014 21:57

Chalk it up to experience. It's amazing how many mothers are functioning at the level of their youngest child

Zephyroux · 12/08/2014 21:58

You were most definitely not unreasonable. Her calling a 20 month old baby a brat though!!! Words fail me...

ithoughtofitfirst · 12/08/2014 22:00

You gave him another ball. Jeez.

TheGoop · 12/08/2014 22:01

She will feel differently when her child is 20 months.

Though to be honest, how many colours are there? Couldn't you have found another the same colour and told her it really didn't matter that it was a different one?

Wedgiebum · 12/08/2014 22:02

I have never encountered crazy shit like this. I have never been to soft play. It turns people weird - like some kind of parallel universe

cocklodgerroger · 12/08/2014 22:09

I think you both sound as bad as each other. She acted badly but your DD needs to learn that she can't just hog something for an entire session.

PleaseJustShootMeNow · 12/08/2014 22:09

DS and I went to soft play for the first time yesterday. What an experience that was. I think I was the only person there following the 'rules'. Signs everywhere saying you must wear socks, no adults on the bikes, strictly only under 3s in this area etc. I think me and DS were the only ones who could read.

Hassled · 12/08/2014 22:11

If it helps, I once got Tambourine Rage at a pre-school music session with DC4, who really, really had to have one specific tambourine which another child took. I'm not proud, and I still wince if I see certain percussion instruments.

ThisIsBULLSHIT · 12/08/2014 22:16

Please expand on Tambourine Rage!!!!

DontstepontheMomeRaths · 12/08/2014 22:16

Sounds to me like she saw something out of the corner of her eye and jumped to the wrong conclusion. Your DD had been playing nicely, rolled it down the slide and retrieved it. You gave the other child another ball. But this Mum jumps to a conclusion and comes in all guns blazing.

I've spent a lot of time in soft plays but this would have bothered me too. She presumed incorrectly. I'm surprised you didn't set her straight when leaving it was horrid and passive aggressive to make a snide remark as you left, knowing you'd hear.

It is just a ball. I guess it shouldn't have mattered but I'd have felt irritated too.

SirChenjin · 12/08/2014 22:18

No, she shouldn't have roughly snatched - or however she actually took it from him () but it sounds like one of those situations which just escalates in the blink of an eye and leaves you feeling as if you coulda/woulda/shoulda handled it much better than you did. I'm afraid I tend to retaliate, and would have made some smart comment about how the only brat there was her, but I realise that makes me very childish

Next time - take your own ball and save any arguments!

ThisIsBULLSHIT · 12/08/2014 22:18

And OP until I got to the bit where you demanded it back I would say she was BU but that part was a teeny bit you BU. She was then U again when she said the rude bit? HTH

Littlef00t · 12/08/2014 22:19

I don't understand her reaction. You gave the child another ball, everyone has a ball, why did she try and take yours back if you had already 'replaced' the one her child went for?!

I can assure you, you did nothing wrong.

Yoruba · 12/08/2014 22:20

This made me :o

YANBU op.

ColdTeaAgain · 12/08/2014 22:22

These threads make me think DD really will be fine with out soft play in her life

Softlysoftlycatchymonkey · 12/08/2014 22:22

I've had soft play rage! My biggest bug bear is when older children come in to the toddler part and play roughly. My teacher voice comes out.

op I would have been fuming, but you walked away and have no charge sheet to your name. It's a win!

ColdTeaAgain · 12/08/2014 22:23

Don't waste any time worrying about it OP, she sounds like one of those mums who's child would still be the victim even if they were the one biting chunks out of another ones arm.

RonaldMcDonald · 12/08/2014 22:23

YABU because you have mentioned SP

softplay is a level of hell that no one should speak about

Hassled · 12/08/2014 22:24

Bullshit - it was a standing joke between me/other mothers/teacher bloke that DC4 had to have HIS tambourine, despite the fact it looked much like the others. We all chuckled and indulged him because he was cute and I'm a softie, and no one else felt especially strongly about tambourines in any case. Until one day a mother let her child take the Sacred Tambourine out of the box and there was a look - she bloody knew that this would cause upset, and she did it because it would cause upset. And my rage manifested itself by me stomping out with DC4 in a really mature fashion. Then I had to face them all the next Tuesday morning.

SirChenjin · 12/08/2014 22:27

You know that you had been winding her up for ages with your special tambourine, don't you? And that one day she just flipped - got the most immense sense of satisfaction out of your flouncing?

ThisIsBULLSHIT · 12/08/2014 22:28

Oh!! That is funny!

I am sure I have done shit like that. I am always telling other children off for hurting my small one. softly my teacher voice comes out too!

Hassled · 12/08/2014 22:31

:o - there was probably an "AIBU to stop this silly cow indulging her child with a tambourine?"

SirChenjin · 12/08/2014 22:42

- with a resounding "YANBU"!

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