To ask DH to drop discussion about me overpaying plumber

[Chooqueen]

So we have a leak, somewhere on our property. Not a big gushing one but a small, constant dribble that has, nonetheless resulted in much higher water bills than usual

We're about to go on holiday so DH spoke to his plumber mate who said turn off stopcock while you're away but that was before I was woken up by sound of running water two nights ago.

Turns out plumber also said the leak could wait till he returned from his own holidays in September but DH didn't mention this bit. A friend recommended a plumber who, by chance, was free last night and who came round and "fixed" the issue for a substantial fee, that I totally accept I should have challenged. DH was sulking because I had spoken to someone else and, I guess because of this, I just didn't think to get him to come and debate the plumber's price

When DH found out how much I paid he went nuts and has been mad at me ever since. He has a temper and can easily lose his rag and he's made me feel about two inches tall. I know I messed up (I said I'd pay out of my one money so it's at my cost not his) but he doesn't seem to be able to forgive me. I've called the plumber and asked for a refund but got the answer I was expecting. I just don't know how to move past this, DH acts like I've committed a robery!

How much was it?

I ask because if you would save it in water rates over the next six months or so it's reasonable to me.

More importantly, you made a decision - everyone makes the occasional mistake. Dh and I have both done it and it is awful when you get ripped off but you have to move past it at some point.

Tell him to fuck the fuck off unless he wanted half of your house to rot from the running water? Plumbers who know what they're doing charge a lot, mates who can't be arsed are always strangely cheap.

Are we talking daylight robbery or just "not mates rates"?

Tell your o/h to shutup!

We had a faulty boiler for a long, long time. Children and I kept saying we could smell gas, really strongly. Partner asked his brother (who's a plumber) to take a look. We waited for months and months and months ......... brother could never be bothered to come. Finally, the boiler burst, leaving floods of horrible smelly, rusty water over the contents of the airing cupboard and ruined the newly-decorated room. The plumber who did come to replace it said that it was actually dangerous.

I now won't trust o/h to rely on his "mates" or flaky brothers - I WILL make the executive decision and deal with these things myself in the future.

Are you safe with him ATM, it's very worrying when a poster say that the 'd'p has a temper and could loose his rage.

Tell him to shut up. He had no intention of doing anything about it, he forced yr hand.

Tell him to fuck the fuck off unless he wanted half of your house to rot from the running water? Plumbers who know what they're doing charge a lot, mates who can't be arsed are always strangely cheap

HEAR HEAR!!

That aside, I'd tell him fuck off and go and bully some one else!

He has a temper and can easily lose his rag and he's made me feel about two inches tall. I know I messed up (I said I'd pay out of my one money so it's at my cost not his) but he doesn't seem to be able to forgive me

What are you six? Tell him that he should have sorted it himself and if he doesn't like it, it's tough shit. You're not his subordinate.

if it is any consolation I paid quite a bit for a plumbing job recently, but the job is guaranteed for a year (and we had to call him back, he came back with no quibble). Previously a "mate" did similar work, and caused some minor damage and then failed to turn up to sort it...and of course one doesn't like to challenge or complain to someone who is doing a favour.

Your dh's aggression is a separate and more worrying concern IMO.

Wait, what do you mean "fixed"? He didn't actually fix it?

In any case, you should never be made to feel 2 inches tall over an innocent mistake that was well meaning. You're adults, and there's not really an excuse for tantrums like that. The house needed to be fixed. You didn't know the going rate. Live and learn.

You can't leave a problem with running water for a month on the loose word of a plumber anyway.

I'm sure he's not perfect either. In the mean time, stop catering to him and trying to suck up. You've been punished enough, he can strop around on his own time not yours.

He can either sort it himself or let you sort it. He didn't sort it so you did.

Losing his temper with you about this is not acceptable. He's angry that you didn't just defer to him and his mate- is he like this a lot?

Thanks all of you for your wise words. A week of holiday has put him in a much better mood. Time will tell whether the leak has been stemmed but more important is me making sure he doesn't get to do that again!