To not have DS in a routine?

[NeedaNC]

DS is coming up 6 weeks now and I don't have him in any sort of routine. He feeds when he's hungry and sleeps when he is tired, so far he seems to have a loose routine of hungry and sleepy times that he's set himself. It's not causing me any problems so far with my other DS being on school holidays, the 3 of us are getting on fine.
I had DS1 in a firm Gina Ford routine as a baby and have expressed to DP plenty of times how much I regret being so rigid with it and won't be doing it again.
Now he's going on all annoyed cos I've not put DS2 in a routine when he would prefer he was.

Tell me honestly, as he is also DSs parent, should I be striving to accommodate his wishes? I'm a SAHM and do 99% of the childcare for DS2 (I'm happy with that), DP does equal amounts with DS1 when home.

I didn't have a routine for DS because I don't have a routine for me, either. When he was around 6 months and I opened my little shop, we got a bit more regularized due to having to get up at the same time every day, and now we have to do the same for school at least in term time, but on the whole, I wanted DS to have a fairly flexible attitude towards life - to be able to sleep in different places if we were visiting friends and relatives, to be able (once weaned) to eat a variety of things and be able to wait a little while for a meal if we were stuck somewhere. On the whole, unless you are a really boring person with a really really rigid, narrow lifestyle, strict routines for small children are a bad idea. Programme a fixed schedule into them early on and you will have a kid who is massively distressed and unsettled by change, which is not good if you have to spend a night away from home for any reason.

Oh, and if your DP is only doing 1% of the childcare he can keep his beak out.

In my experience follow his cues & you will find his natural routine. 6 weeks is early, I am pretty sure I was up 3 to 4x a night at this stage.
I remember between 8-12 weeks he started sleeping thru.
Don't stress it you are doing awesome x

Ds2 would have looked you in the eyes and grinned mischievously at such a suggestion. My two have dropped into their own patterns and chopped and changed them on their own whims. I've found that we've been able to be quite flexible on timings and never had to worry about doing X at Y o'clock.

Yanbu

6 weeks? No way!
Our DD is 11 weeks and has a vague evening routine (she has one feed later than DS goes to bed, then she goes in her crib). Other than that it's led by my and DS' social life her.

At 6 weeks is say he was far too young... But I don't see anything wrong with a rough nap routine. My son was a rubbish sleeper, but I knew everyday he would nap at 9:30 and 1:30. It was a godsend!

My daughter is coming up to 2 and still isn't in a routine, we eat when we're hungry, sleep when we're tired - she's an incredibly adaptable kid so it never results in tantrums. I say do what's best for you and the baby, 6 weeks is still incredibly young.

6 weeks? Just follow his needs of feeding and sleeping.

Maybe introduce night bed time at 12 weeks or so but keep it flexible.

Both mine fell into a routine around 4-5 months. DS2 a little earlier actually as he had to work around DS1's routine, so slept on school runs etc. I don't think you need to push it at 6 weeks if you don't want to.

I love a routine and knowing when they will eat or sleep, but found it easier to sort of consolidate their natural routine when they were a bit older than impose one.

I don't really have a routine with my 5mo, except that I try to have bedtime and wake time roughly the same which highlights her natural routine.

It makes life easier if someone asks me what time suits to meet etc, if I know roughly what time she feeds and sleeps.