to think that agreeing you've been a bit shit is not the same as apologising

[ChampagneTastes]

DH has form for this but tonight has annoyed me. It's my birthday in a couple of weeks and tonight he asked me what I wanted to do for it. I said I wanted to go to a particular restaurant which books up very fast, like I had already told him a month ago. DH's response is not to apologise for not having booked it but to announce that he is a "shit husband" in a feeling-sorry-for-himself sort of way. I agreed (normally I would say "no, you're not, no big deal"). He flounced off.

He keeps doing this; it's like if he says he is shit then I am supposed to say "no no it's fine" so that he feels better about having cocked up. I'm the one who's been wronged but I end up having to comfort him.

Is it me? DH is a fabulous DH generally but this really irks me.

Ahh just book the table yourself.

Yanbu that fucks me right off.

I hate that game. Just ask him "So what are you going to do so you don't feel like a shit husband then?".

That way he has to offer a solution instead of sulking.

Oooooh Noodles nice response. I like that.

Notagain It's done.

YANBU.

I hate this too, they are just looking for reassurance that you don't think they are a shit husband when they clearly have been.

Do we have the same husband? I'm loving Noodles response.

I initially thought you were going to say someone has said something like 'that was really shitty of me, sorry. Why don't we ' that's the perfect apology to my mind.

But the 'I fucked up woah is me' shit, nah yanbu. Dp does this and it's grating, if I can be arsed I'll prompt him with a 'so what are you going to do about it?' If I can't he'll get a fuck off and a sulk.

God yes, YANBU, the 'I've a mistake and I feel soooooo rubbish about it' all with hang dog look, deep sigh and shuffling around. Hate it. Fucking fucks sake, apologise and fix it! I tell DH whenever he does this he still does it.

I've had to train DH out of that one as well. YANBU.

No, it's definitely not the same.
Your DH sounds like he might think his a film character that Hugh Grant would play. The flouncing bit did that
for me.

Hahahahahaha! I'm going to tell DH that mumsnet thinks he's a bit Hugh Grant! That'll learn him.

YANBU. It's along the same lines as 'I'm sorry you were upset'.... which is not an apology at all.