A smother Mother

[steviel]

I feel mean saying this but I am in my 40's and have two young teenage children. My Mother and I are very close as she lives on her own and helps me with child care.
We go on holiday with her at least once a year but it just doesn't seem to be enough for her, she wants to come with us everywhere we go as a family.
We have a holiday booked, my husband, myself and kids just for a week and she is talking about driving down to see us for a couple of days.
My husband is very patient and we have her to our house nearly every Sunday for lunch etc. is it too much to ask for a holiday the 4 of us? How to I tell her no without offending her?

I think you should be clear but kind and say something like "Mum, whilst we love spending time with you, this holiday is just for us...we need some time together as a unit." We will see you for a lovely meal when we get back.

I agree with Mrs. It is important that you have family time.

I have one of these. It's really tough (and you feel dreadful) but you've just got to deal with it head on. You may well offend her but she may easily come round.

I have had my Mum crying because I've told her that sorry, she can't stay with us for another week (without telling anyone) because we may, in fact, have other stuff to do. But I braved it out. She's "expressed disappointment" that, having spent two weeks abroad with her in June, we are no longer planning to join her on holiday in November. But I braved it out. She has been "surprised" when I suggested that her attendance at the wedding of one of my husband's family members, far overseas and the very definition of "close family only", might not be welcomed. But I braved it out.

I haven't decided if she genuinely wants to be with us all the time, if she can't bear to miss out or if she just wants to be best friends with EVERYONE

So, my advice is to brave it out. If your Mum is like mine, she'll get over it fairly quickly once she decides on the next event she can suffocate us with

I would say, though, that my Dad is around. It seems from your post that your Mum is on her own, so you have the added possibility that she's just, well, lonely. In which case, a little support to join clubs/groups/etc might mitigate this problem in future?

MIL is like this and not only does she need 2xweekly visits but wants to stick her oar in on house and car decisions.

The thing is she has an incredible social life, lots of friends, clubs, always out and about and she has a theory that she never says no to anything she is asked to do!! It is just that my husband works long hours and he wants just the 4 of us for one week.
I am going to brave it out and speak to her, thanks.

I have one of these too. A widowed mother who doesn't get that we don't want her company everywhere we go. Ohh the guilt!!! Good luck with the being brave.

Tell her firmly but nicely

We really enjoyed being on holiday with you in ---

We want to have a week away just me DH and the children this time.

If she objects-broken record.
You are entitled to time to yourselves