AIBU to not invite one of next door neighbours kids to DS birthday party?

[ILoveFrogs]

Our next door neighbour has three children, 2 DD (4 & 5) and a DS (just turned 3) my DS will be 5 on his birthday. All children are friends, we leave the gates open and they all play together be that in their back door or ours. The little boy more just follows them around, the sisters are basically told to look after him, he is a boisterous little boy, hits my DS and his sisters a lot, which I guess isn't really so out of the ordinary considering his age etc

We've decided to have a party for DS 5th birthday, which will be his first birthday party. I want to invite the two little girls from next door, my DS is very fond of them and they all get along great, my problem is I don't want to invite the little boy. The party venue is quite far, the parents don't drive so we are going to offer to take the girls, look after them and bring them home (which they will probably take us up on) I'm thinking with everything going on that looking after a boisterous three year old would be too much also. My problem is that I don't know if the mum would be offended that only two of her children are invited considering 90% of the time the little boy is also out playing with my DS when the girls are there.

I just think that the little boy is too young, he's only just turned three and all the children there will be 4/5. AIBU to not invite him? Would you be upset or offended if only two of your children were invited to a party leaving the younger one out? It's my first time having to deal with kids party politics so I genuinely don't know?

yanbu

Can I just say I don't dislike the little boy, reading that back it looks like I do, he's a funny little character when he's not hitting or smashing up the garden toys, I just genuinely think he is too young and as I said we will take the girls, I just think it will be too much looking after a little one as well.

Are all the seats in your car full if you take the girls but not the 3yo?

No, there is space for the little boy in one of the cars, if I am being unreasonable of course I will invite and offer to take him, I'd rather the two girls and him were there rather than none of them.

I don't see a problem with not inviting him

No that's fine just to take the older kids
You're still doing the parents a favour by doing all the lifts

I think you are being more than reasonable to offer to take the 2 girls and you are being entirely reasonable not to invite the 3 year old - in fact, I'd say you'd be taking on too much if you had to supervise your kids, plus the two girls and a 3 year old.

YANBU!

It's perfectly appropriate to just invite the children who are close in age to your DS.

YANBU, you can invite who you like. It's already very kind to offer to transport and look after their children as it is.

It think it is perfectly fine. It's not as if you are having the party next door. You will be bringing the children out and minding them.

Yanbu actually really kind and lovely, I hope parents show you their appreciation. He is of different age range to the girls, the party is for older children. If I were the parents I would not be offended in the slightest.

As the parent of a spirited 3yo I would love you to take my son away to a party for a few hours... however I would not expect my son to be invited along to my dd5 birthday parties!Parties cost money and it is perfectly reasonable for you just to invite their friends.

Thanks for the quick replies, it's a massive weight off my mind! I can't believe how nervous I am over a bloody childrens birthday party!

I have a spirited 2.7 year old, noway would I expect an invite for him if you invited my 7 year dd. He will just cause havoc, he's like a puppy, cute but pulls things down, runs from room to room causing havoc.

the truth i feel its terrible to leave one child out especially when he plays with your son along with his sisters .i had a party when my son was 4 .and had his friends from the street along with there siblings older and younger .i would be hurt personally .i mean his sisters are not much older than him .maybe she can come maybe some other mother would give her a lift .

YANBU, but if you're going to fret about what the mum thinks, you could just say something along the lines of, " I haven't included X, because he's still very little, and I don't think I'll be able to give him my full attention."

YANBU - I also have 3 kids, the youngest of whom is 3, and would never expect him to be invited as a tag-along to an older kid's party with his siblings. TBH I would doubt the host could keep him safe as well as run a party and watch all the appropriate age kids if I wasn't there.

Mind you my kids tend to have separate friends and not to be invited to tje same parties at all - I am used to invites being for just 1 of my kids (they are 8, 6 and 3).

YANBU. If you were having the party in your garden it would be mean but at a separate venue fine, esp given you'd have to supervise him.

Difficult one, this.
It's up to you who you invite, it's your party.
But be aware that the other mum might not see it the same way.
You are neighbours, so you'll have to face the afterwards...

Actually I'm with aprilanne on this. If it was school friends, of course not, but if all the children play together I just wouldn't.
I would invite all three to a tiny tea party in the garden tbh and none to the party.

YANBU - I wouldn't (& haven't) trust the host to have the means to be able to manage my 3yo.

(... But it might be easier all round to have a 'teddy bears picnic' for just the neighborhood kids...)

i would be hurt personally

Why? It's not obligatory that any child is invited to someones party, especially when there's a significant age gap.

YANBU, got to be honest with them though...
Just say you would love to have the girls as they are so easy (if that's true) but it's too much with three of them.