To not ask nursery for a different day for DC

[Iconfuseus]

Hello All,

Long story short but, my DC who is nearly 3 has recently started nursery and is attending 2 mornings a week. We won't qualify for free nursery hours until he is 3, so we are paying at the moment.

He was supposed to attend this morning, but unfortunately he was unwell in the night and barely slept. He's clinging and tired and I decided it would be best to keep him home.

My DH thinks I ought to contact the nursery and ask them if he can attend on a different day this week instead, because we have paid for it.

I didn't because I think that's a bit cheeky and a bit of an imposition. My view is that they probably arrange their staffing levels around the number of children planned to attend on any given day, which is bound to be fluctuating at the moment because of holidays etc. He would have been expected to have breakfast and lunch there too so they will have provided food for him, so there is that to be taken into consideration.

I could have emailed/phoned them and asked them what they thought, but I feel that would feel pressured to say yes as, after all, I'm the customer at the end of the day. I don't want to get a reputation as one of those annoying entitled parents

AIBU?

I think your DH is being unreasonable. Imagine if ALL the parents expected this?

your DH is naïve at best and cheeky sod at worst!

like you say, the staffing and food are all pre arranged. you cant pick and choose which days to send your child. the nursery would have little giggles about that if you called to ask them to change his day this week. maybe get your DH to call and ask and they can explain it to them himself. from the horse's mouth so to speak.

Your DH clearly doesn't realise that a nursery is a business and they simply can't accommodate requests like this!

Your DH is BU

Out of interest, why does he think you should phone/email them instead of him?

YANBU. It doesn't work like that. Their staffing will be worked out on how many children they have and probably all spaces will be full anyway.

The nursery we go to would laugh in his face!

Nurseries don't work like that, and I think it's pretty obvious they wouldn't surely?

Actually I work in somewhere similar although not a nursery where we have planned the staffing ratios to the number and needs of the children, meals etc and we get requests like the OPs DH has suggested.
Sometimes we get cancellations or a fail to arrive and can slot another child in.

I don't see the problem in asking tbh. What's the worst thing they can say? 'sorry, but we have no spaces'

He is being unreasonable. You pay for the nursery place. If you don't use it, for whatever reason eg illness, holiday, then you still pay. That's the way it's been in any childcare I've used from nursery, to childminder, to Playgroup.

My nursery would probably do it - they're really flexible about things like that.

I don't see the harm in asking, as long as you ask in a way that makes it clear you don't expect this and you know it may well not be possible.

Your DH is being VU to expect that your ds should get an extra day at nursery effectively for free.

our nursery used to not do this but recently introduced a policy of permitting it 3 times pa if they had adequate staffing to accommodate it. That still leaves them quite a lot less flexible than a number of other local nurseries. as with all things it depends on the nursery and their policies. no harm in asking even if only for future reference and whether their policy is the same for last minute changes (eg due to illness) as for times when you have/can give a bit more notice.

You can't do that at our creche. If they're sick, tough! And if we need an extra day we pay extra for it.

You might be lucky if someone is on holiday but be prepared to pay again.

Our nursery were wonderfully flexible in terms of which day DD attended - I work shifts so a real necessity to avoid paying for full time nursery just to accommodate a random rota. All of this was arranged in advance, with occasional last minute switches to allow swaps on the rota. However, I never asked to have an extra day because she'd been ill on another day, that would be taking the piss I'm afraid.

Our nursery used to try and do this but people took the piss so now you can't swap days and absent days have to be paid for. If 20 kids were all off sick one day the nursery still have to pay the staff and all the running costs. Driving instructors still charge for missed lessons, dentists charge for missed appointments. It's the way it is.

There's no harm in asking if he can come on another day as at this time of year there are probably children on holiday. You should expect to pay though.

The nursery I use let me have an extra day recently when I needed to take my Nan to an important appointment. I paid without question though!

Thank you for the replies everybody. I think in future I'll find out what their policy is regarding this sort of issue and then I know where I stand.

Worraliberty, there was no particular reason why my husband wanted me to call, it's just always the way we've done things. It didn't really occur to either of us to do it differently.

The nursery I work at wouldn't let you swap a day they would let U have another day to be paid for if they had an available space.
Staffing is sorted out a week in advance. and it would be chaos if children were swaping and changing days to suit them all the time.

My son only goes to nursery for 1 day a week. If he misses a couple of weeks due to illness or whatever they will sometimes offer another day.

I've never taken them up on it because we have childcare organised for the other days.

Your dh is being unreasonable. They probably have their staffing levels worked around which kids are in which days. Also they probably have all the spaces full each day anyway.