to feel hurt by my friend's comments and not meet up later?

[PleaseJustShootMeNow]

We've been friends for 6 years. Last year we both had babies, DS is now 15 months and her son is 13 months. We haven't seen as much of each other since their arrivals as we're both knackered all the time. We're supposed to be meeting up at the park this afternoon but now I don't really want to go anymore.

She rang this morning to sort out the details and I mentioned that I was really tired. She at me because I don't know really tired is as I have it really easy compared to her. I'm so upset. This has pretty much been the topic of conversation since the babies arrived, how tired she is and how easy I've got it compared to her, and I've had enough. Yes my circumstances are different to hers but that doesn't mean I don't have struggles too. In fact she knows these struggles but brushes them aside because she can only see things from her perspective. I feel like I've inadvertently walked into a competition for 'finding it hardest' and I want out (because I'm too bloody tired).

AIBU to cancel this afternoon's meet up and back away?

I was ambivalent about who was right and how to deal with it until the text just before your agreed meeting time. On the assumption that she knew how long your journey was that was seriously rude. Even if an emergency meant she had to cancel at the last minute she should have actually called (and left a heartfelt apology/explanation on voicemail if necessary). If she doesn't phone you in the next 24hrs, OP, I'd consider her an ex-friend.

She sounds really shit. I think I would just drop her. Neither of you seem too keen in the friendship anyway!

Just walk away, she sounds very selfish.

You could have cancelled and suggested she took some time to get some rest

I hate this aspect of parenting. Everyone has a difficult and busy time and everyone is tired in the early days/years. Nobody has a harder time of it than anyone else. It is all down to mindset and approach.

I would stay away from the competitive tiredness competition. I've been so tired that I do mention it/can't see outside being tired, on the verge of collapse. When I was like that, I wasn't trying to outdo anyone I was really asking for help.

I remember being 20 and liking lazy days, maybe parenthood has hit her hard. She might be treating you like a mother figure because of your age and leaning on you.

I would give her a chance, friendship isn't so easy to come by, if she's really irritating you then say something politely.

I don't think she's trying to though, I think she's just leaning on you for support. Maybe she thinks you are her rock or something...

Well as she cancelled then you could use that as a reason to start avoiding contact if she makes you miserable.

She probably is really tired though. I can only speak for myself here but sometimes the unrelenting lack of sleep can make me a bit irrational. I try to have a good mindset but sometimes I'm just knackered.

How rude of your friend.
As for the tird

How rude of your friend.

She could be a bit depressed though I suppose, and that could be making her lethargic. If not and child has no additional needs, how does she think single parents do it?

Oh dear. After all that shit from her (competetive tiredness, last minute cancellation) I think you can safely take that as a cue to drop her.

Oh PleaseJust - how bloody rude of her! I suppose at least you got out of the competitiveness but what a long journey for nothing!

Next time don't bother, honestly. Make her come to you if she insists on a meet up, so that at least if she sacks it off you haven't put yourself out like that. 1.5h with a bad back (and if AS means ankylosing spondylitis, then seriously ouch!) is not funny when the other person skips out on you. :(

Ditch the bitch. You don't need competitive tiredness in your life, its not a bloody competition.

Thumbwitch, by AS I mean Asperger's. Although I do have a bad back too (broke it when showing off on a climbing frame as a teenager)

I hate to say it, because it makes me sound like a right cow, but I suspect she cancelled because I said that morning that I wasn't bringing another friend along. I suspect the 'playdate' was a cover for chauffering her other friend around as neither of them drive. I met them both at language class where they both seemed to want to be friends with me. Not something I'm used to, people usually fall over themselves to avoid me. As time went on I started to feel like it was my car they wanted to be friends with, but I ignored that because I was just pleased to have some friends. I've had enough now though.

Ah I wasn't sure! picked the wrong one, making an assumption on your bad back situation, sorry!

Do you enjoy the time you do spend together? Might it be easier to cool this friendship until things get a little better?

Ugh. End the friendship. I take no prisoners when it comes to ending unrewarding relationships. It means I don't have a big social circle but I can't bear rudeness.