This is a dump..

[Reddeb]

Not really sure what I think about this, so I thought maybe some different perspectives might be useful. We are currently living in Australia, I love it here but don't know if it will be permanent. The other day I was driving down the road with my dd and she pointed at a shop and said dgs said that was a dump, then she pointed at a house and said they said that was a dump too. So I asked her to tell me what had happened and apparently one day when they were driving around with my dcs, they spent the journey pointing at everything they passed saying dump, dump that's a dump. They were horrible the whole time they were out here anyway. AIBU to be upset or am I just being over sensisitive. The always accuse me of this so I guess it's possible. They're visiting soon, I'm dreading it!

Sorry if I've got it wrong dear grandparents.

Not my parents in laws

is it your mum and dad? or PILs?

if its yours, tell them not to be so rude.
If its your PILs, get DH to tell them not to be so rude

x post - so its your parents.

just ask them to stop commenting

Is this your grandparents, or your daughters grandparents? Whoever, they sound very rude...are they a bit envious of your new life?

So your parents don't like where you are living? Just tell them not to talk to kids like that.

I might go passive aggressive and comment how DS is calling everything a dump, that you have no idea where he picked it up, probably at school or playground, and that you are worried because it's such a nasty thing to do and shows little consideration for the feelings of the people living there.

Sorry not being clear today, not my parents they are my in laws. If I say anything I will be accused of having lost my sense on humour and being over sensitive.

get DH to say something - they are his parents

Dh won't say anything as won't want an argument. What I want to know is am I too sensitive, is this reasonable way to talk to my dcs. I'm asking in all honesty because I completely lose any perspective when it comes to my in laws!

Personally I'd just ignore it. Explain I your dc that the grandparents like different styles of housing, but that you all love Australia and the places here. I personally don't think it's worth arguing about.

But don't invite them back if they think it's that much of a dump!!!

I agree with Lwegi

Sounds like they are jealous.

Anyway if you and dh are happy what does it matter.

Tell your dd that grandparents are being very silly and hopefully she will repeat that back to them.

I wish that was an option, they invite themselves!

actually, on second thoughts, I agree with winner

just completely ignore them - if they often say that you have no sense of humour etc.. maybe they are trying to get a rise out of you (my dad does this sometimes and I just blank him)

but explain to your DCs that it is not nice to call places in your neighbourhood "dumps"

I once pointed out politely to my MIL that she was entitled not to like the music I was playing in my car, even say it, but not to call it crap because crap is the music she liked.

You could say something similar to them, although as they are just visiting, I'd probably let it go. If they are a more constant feature, then I think it will pay to be assertive about this, but not upset. Explain that you want your DS to grow to respect other people and not grow up to be a bully who just puts down things.

What lweji said.

Yes, Tanterose I think you're right. They are most likely trying to get a rise out of me. I will endeavour to rise above.

I would also try to ignore this if I were you.

By all means tell your daughter it is quite rude to call local houses and shops 'dumps'. Ask your DH to have a quiet word with his DPs to tell them it's really not on for them to say this to their DGC... if DGC pick up this sort of language and start copying it they might cause offence to neighbours and classmates and he is sure they really wouldn't want their DGC to become unpopular in their local community, would they?

Otherwise I would think that your PIL are acting out some of their angst at their DS and family moving to the other side of the world. Might they be quite worried that all of you are starting to enjoy yourself a little too much in Aus... and that you might never go back to the UK? So they might be trying to make you view the place through negative eyes?

Or they may genuinely think that Australia is a dump?

However it is you and your family who live there and if you like Aus and enjoy living there that is the only thing that matters!

Yes they were v angry when we moved so I guess that has something to do with it, that and they think we live in a dump! Actually ds did say the other day his friend lived in a dump, we had strong words!

I also live in Australia OP, have done for 3 years now. My own parents aren't thrilled about us being here, they miss us a lot (we don't have kids yet, just me and DP) and when my mum came over to visit she was really difficult - negative comments on everything, houses, weather - too hot one day too cold the next! She also commented constantly on how expensive everything was and to be honest the whole visit was exhausting. Apparently she told family back home that she loved it! Could it be a bit of bitterness about you living here?

They think all of Australia is a dump, don't they-basically because they don't want you to live there!

I would be inclined to ignore it and tell your DD that its rude to call someone else's house a dump-and it isn't a dump-they just like a different sort of house one round the corner from them

It's reassuring to read that we're not the only ones who've struggled with visiting family. They've been difficult and it's been such a shame as everyone's expectations have been so high, they're more realistic now.