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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to expect at least a text from friend.

6 replies

littlebritain · 11/08/2014 00:10

It was my 40th birthday earlier his year. I had a party, singer, buffet, booze. I kept this party quite small as I didn't want a huge fuss and if I'm honest I only had a party because my husband was on the verge of organising a surprise party.

Anyway it was a lovely evening and I am so glad I went ahead with it. On a sad note though my best friend lives in Australia so could not make it…she had arranged to Skype me during the evening which was such a lovely surprise.

One of my oldest friend had confirmed she was coming and had asked for details of hotels nearby which I provided along with the offer to stay at my house. Anyway the night before we were chatting and she said she had not booked a room but was planning on doing so in the morning.

Twenty minutes before my party I receive a text for oldest friend stating that she would not make my party as her husband was ill. No problem, these things happen don't they? I replied telling her I would miss her but completely understand and we could do something together another time.

Anyway, it is now 6 months later and not only have I never received a birthday card from my friend but not once has she even text me. I was just chatting with my husband about this and told him that I felt hurt, especially as we have had other life events happen in this time and she has not even text me. My husband said that he think she never intended to come to my party…he is right isn't he?

I feel stupid. This has played on my mind so much. If she had just said thanks for the invite but I can't make it I would not have even given it a second thought. Now i just feel like the whole 'i'd love to come' convo was a charade. I feel shit now.
OP posts:
nocoolnamesleft · 11/08/2014 00:39

He might be right. But he might not. Have you tried calling/texting her?

WooWooOwl · 11/08/2014 00:45

Maybe she has stuff going on in her personal life that is making her feel unsociable and she doesn't want to tell people.

Whatever the reason, it's likely to be much more about her than it is about you.

sunbathe · 11/08/2014 00:47

Her husband's illness could be serious?

Perhaps she's wondering why you haven't contacted her.

littlebritain · 11/08/2014 01:07

Her husbands illness was not serious. She just hasn't been in touch for whatever reason!

I have been in contact lost of times, I've sent funny texts, I've also shared some sad family news. No response to either.

I'm not a big sharer on FB but she is and she hadn't posted anything that would make me think she is having a hard time....in fact it's the opposite, family holidays, nights out etc.

OP posts:
syllabub1 · 11/08/2014 01:17

I don't mean to sound harsh but it sounds like maybe she's just not that bothered about you?
Please don't waste your energy worrying about people who don't worry about you...save that energy for the people who really matter xxx

MrsMarcJacobs · 11/08/2014 01:17

Don't fall into the Facebook trap of thinking her life is perfect because there are photos on there. If she's been your friend for ages, you should give her the benefit of the doubt. Have a face-to-face or actually call rather than text.

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