Apart from my kids, everyone in my life makes me unhappy.

[JumpRope]

Mainly, dh and mother. Dh is a hotheaded bully, with heart in the right place, but treats me occasionally vilely and expects me to worship him and thank him daily.

Mother is totally self absorbed and zaps away all my confidence any time I spend with her. She comes to stay for 4 days a few times a year and goes on the internet whilst I cook for her and wash up. Tells me I can't do things that are difficult, and takes the massive hump when I try to approach the issues.

I do have anxiety and depression, being treated, but feel like a lot of it comes from the little voice telling me I can't do things.

Dh and mum think (and tell me) I'm selfish, and agree with one another in this analysis.

Is it possible that they are both shits. Or could it just be me?

Be brave and stand up for yourself. You are managing and ignore others, anyone who expects to be thanked daily clearly has issues. That is not your problem!

They're both shits.

I'd add in DH as well as my DDs, everyone else makes me unhappy, which is why I stay well away.

It's fine to make the choice not to see other people, but that doesn't sound to be the case with you because you're still in contact with the fuckers.

How have you imagined it playing out when you give them both the boot and go on to lead a happy and contented life?

I am sure I would find other unhappy things elsewhere. It is a bitter irony that the insecure and neurotic are unlikely to attract/gravitate towards people who are going to be supportive towards recovery.

When I had a really bad bout of depression a few years back the best two pieces of advice I got were:

Don't be an asshole to yourself

Shit you like doing, do.. shit you don't like doing? Don't do.

You're spending time with people who shit all over your confidence and self esteem leaving you to feel worthless. Get rid of them. Don't have your mother to stay and tell her exactly why. She will turn it on you, and you will most likely feel guilty. But be strong. As for dh ... LTB? He sounds like a bully.

Jump, you wouldn't find unhappy people elsewhere. I think it is true that you repeat behaviours and patterns till you recognise and change them, but if you work on your assertiveness and boundaries and spending time with people YOU like, then there is no reason why you can't make good and positive friendships.