DH always moans if I don't go to bed when he does.

[MrsWinnibago]

And I HATE THAT.

His bedtime doesn't automatically mean it;s mine does it!

Sometimes I go before him and I never say a bloody word!

If he goes before me, he keeps getting up again and getting a drink/going for a wee/moaning that the light's keeping him awake.

We live in a flat and the light from the sitting room will shine into the bedroom if the door's open...but HE's the one who leaves it open ffs!

Why can't he just go to sleep without saying "Why are you still up?" "Are you coming to bed?" blah blah!

I sometimes like a late night to chill out...it already feels a bit naughty when I do it...but I like doing it!

OP have you actually said all this to your Dh?

Tell him to shut the door and shut the fuck up! Man child or what

Seriously though, you expect to have to negotiate bedtime with dc, but with another adult? Never!!

Londonrach, why do you go to all the trouble of getting up to ask your dh whether he's coming to bed? If he is coming you'll find out soon enough. if he isn't it's been a pointless errand. Or are you actually just nagging him?

No just sleepwalk into the lounge saying he looks tried which he does. He looks exhausted at the moment hence why I'm worried. Work is very busy and stressful at the moment and his lack of sleep isn't helping him. He says watching the film will relax him but the screen makes his eyes red. He never comes to bed if good movie. So I achieve nothing... It doesn't feel right without him in bed and the light wakes me. Not sure if that's controlling or worried. Do like the cuddles when he finally does come to bed but at 1am (getting up at 7am) it's very late or early..

I don't expect DH to come to bed with me as I am going really early due to little DD at the mo. But if he is still up when I do the 1-2am feed I will demand he comes to bed. Otherwise he always gets the lie-in.

If you are constantly the one in bed first, it can be annoying if you know you will wake up when the other comes to bed.

Not that that means you have to go to bed together, of course.

I'm a light sleeper & sometimes can't sleep for worrying that I'll be woken when husband comes to bed

If I've had lots of bad nights sleep in a row then I'll sometimes ask DH to come to bed when I do because he always wakes me up when he comes in and, like others , I find it harder to go to sleep knowing he might be coming in and disturbing me soon anyway.

The light from smart phones is annoying in the dark if someone else is trying to sleep.

Yup. I can do without the guilt trip of not going to bed when he does. It's just not worth the implication of, 'what are you doing that's better than being in bed with me ?'

No, it's not a hint about sex.

I resent it as I haven't been told when to go bed since I was a child. I can relate to the poster that likes to stay up, just chillin'.