To feel like I really missed out on being a carefree teenager because of my uber-strict parents?

[erineve]

My parents were always very strict when I was a child and teenager. Well, I say strict but actually pretty bloody abusive really. My eldest DD is a teenager now and I think this has really brought it home to me about how much I missed out and was suppressed during my teens.

My parents used to sulk for days on end with me about any perceived slight. This may be something such as being 1 minute home late, or not saying thank you in the correct tone of voice. Teen years were spent walking on eggshells, not really able to develop a personality or opinions of my own.

I was not really allowed friends round, nor to stay out late at all. If I went to a friend's house I'd get sulked at afterwards by parents. Whenever I got home from a night out my parents would find something to tell me off about the next day. They were always both so uptight and miserable, I could never talk to them about anything.

I never was able to do any travelling with friends or have any girly holidays whilst still living with parents because they said that I would be kicked out of the house if I did either of these. I also was forced to leave school at 16 and work in a shop, even though I wanted to do a-levels.

And one last thing, my mum always went on about how I was selfish and vain, so to keep her happy I never really dressed up or enjoyed clothes as a teen when I was skinny. I used to get told off and given a hard time if I washed my hair more than twice a week. I also got smacked regularly until I left home at 20, which of course meant I was quite terrified at times.

I am now non contact with my parents, and I have had counselling which has been brilliant, however I just can't help feeling quite bitter about my teenage years and about how they robbed me of being a carefree teenager.

BTW I am a regular but namechanged for this

Hand up here too for missed teenage years.

My mum was very strict and I think she honestly believed I was some kind of rebel who was wrecking my life. In reality I never went out anywhere because we lived in the middle of nowhere and neither she or my stepdad would drive me anywhere. I dressed very sensibly and worked hard through school. It was expected that I would do well and go to university and I did. The biggest rebellion I ever did was choosing the course I wanted to do not what my mum wanted me to do.

My mum had a breakdown when I was 15 and I was her carer until she was then diagnosed with cancer when I was 17. She died when I was 20 and at university. My life as a teen was so far away from any of my friends at school that at sixth form I would sit in silence because I couldn't join in any of their conversations and no one knew what was going on at home.

I still find it very hard to have my own opinions or to think about what I want rather than doing what everyone else wants.