WIBU to comment on my friend's conversation style?

[AlanTaylorsMuscles]

I have a good friend who I'm finding it increasingly difficult to be around.

She's always been one to talk primarily about herself (doesn't ask many questions), which I've never really minded about in the past. We have good theoretical discussions from time to time (similar interests). And I'm generally not bothered by her lack of questions, as I mostly find it quite unhelpful and boring to talk about my own experiences anyway. So the friendship works.

But since last year, when she had a major relationship break-up, she's been round a lot, and it feels like she's become something of an extra child to me. She goes on and ON about the minutest details of her life, reading me all her texts and e-mails, phoning me to tell me endlessly about her social life, men who fancy her, etc.. I spend a lot of my time sounding like Sybil from Fawlty Towers on the phone ("oh, I know...").

She also sits and paints her nails while I rush around cooking for her and the DC, rarely doing much to help.

What I really don't want is to mention this and for her to then start asking about me/helping out in a "forced" way. I also care about her a lot and genuinely do want to keep supporting her and maintaining the friendship. But I'm beginning to find her company unbearable.

WWYD, wise MNers?

TIA

From your title, I was about to come on and say 'Are you really so petty that you would comment on your friend's overuse of 'like' or something', but thus isn't just to do with 'conversational style', is it? She's self-absorbed and takes you for granted, and it's only got worse. If you want to salvage the friendship (though not sure I see what's in it for you?), then yes, I would sit her down and be calm and straightforward, as she's clearly not sensitive enough to take a hint. Something like 'look, X, we've been friends a long time, but I'm finding it increasingly one-sided. You expect me to be interested in sharing every detail of your life, but show no interest at all in mine. If we are to continue to be friends, there needs to be more give and take.'

Either she will take your point and make some effort to redress things, or be upset and furious and stamp out, but I would have said either scenario was an improvement in being hired and exploited by someone so self-absorbed...?

Find a new friend, if she irritates you that much let her go.

Thanks for the reply, Talcum. You're right - I suppose it's a bit of a misleading title - sorry.
I sometimes imagine saying something like you suggest, but then I think I might find it even more unbearable if she suddenly started asking questions/taking more interest/helping out a bit...
Thanks again.

Thanks for the reply, Sweets. I don't want to do that as we go back a long way and it's not always been this bad. But you have a point.

If I'm cooking and have friends in the kitchen I might well hand them a knife and chopping board and ask them to help. Or maybe cutlery with a request they lay the table or something. How you get her out of the habit of bleating on about herself quite so much I don't know.

Not sure why I've never thought of doing that, Testing. Next time I will. Ta
As for the bleating on, I'm considering my DS's technique of putting my fingers in my ears and shouting "LA LA LA...".

I have a friend like this, she does things like send screen-shots of convos between her and her love interests, and when we talk she has to tell me about her day in the minutest of detail.

However she still does take an interest in me and is generally quite lovely. She also does have a thick skin and sometimes outstays her welcome when she comes round!

What I tend to do is mildly take the piss out of her in an "affectionate" way and this is fine as she has a sense of humour and is quite self aware and knows what she is like. She has gained a reputation in our group as a "talker" who over shares and doesn't always think things through before she says things! She is aware if this and finds it funny, and a lot of these observations have come from her first!

We have a very comfortable friendship and is part of the furniture when she is over so I have no qualms about asking her to do things, and often she will offer to do dishes etc.

Do you think this kind of approach would work with your friend or is she a bit too sensitive and less self-aware?!