I don't often post on here but something happened this week which I'd like a different opinion on.
A bit of background - my 2 DS's have a friend on the street (doesn't live here, his grandparents do). This boy is selfish, destructive (deliberately breaking my boys' stuff), cheeky, sly and sneaky. He treats my house like his own, helping himself to stuff even though I've told him to ask first several times. I've even caught him going through upstairs cupboards. He's eleven, going to comp in September, the same as DS1, thankfully not the same comp.
This week things have come to a head. He turned up early Wednesday morning, came in and played on the xbox for a bit with my two. I then kicked them out - several times. I had to take the dog for a walk so I told them all that I didn't want them in the house while I was out, and decided to lock up before I left. I was only going to be 20 -30 minutes so not long for them to be outside and the weather was lovely. Before I'd even got around the corner my eldest was running after me to say that this boy and my youngest had got into the house (I'd left the patio door unlocked) and locked him out. I told him I'd deal with them when I got back.
When I did get back (I cut the walk short) this boy had gone out with his aunt. My youngest had a bollocking off me. He told me that it was the other boy's idea to try the patio door and when he found it unlocked said "come on, let's go in". My youngest (9) is no angel and can usually be found in the centre of any trouble, so he had a good talking to about not always doing what someone else says if he know it's wrong.
Half an hour later, this boy came back, with his swimming stuff. I told him we weren't going swimming now after what he and DS2 had done. He tried telling me that it was DS2's idea, which it might well have been but this other boy is 11 and I'd specifically said that I didn't want any of them in the house while I was out, so he should have been old enough to know better. I told him that what he and DS2 had done was sly and sneaky and I was absolutely livid that they had disobeyed my instruction. I made sure that I included DS2 in this. I told him that as he couldn't respect my rules in my home that from now on he wouldn't be allowed in. I told him that he could still play with the boys and come and call for them, but he wouldn't be allowed in the house. I ended the conversation by saying that I certainly wouldn't be taking any of them swimming now, and closed the door. I didn't shout at all during this exchange - I was quite calm.
The grandmother called me the following morning to say that her little pudding is very upset and he'd told her that he wasn't allowed in my house ever again. I confirmed this and explained the reason why. Her response was along the lines of "kids aye?" in a doting sort of voice. She then told me that she was often catching them trying to sneak into her house when she'd thrown them out, in a laughing sort of manner.
Now, to me it's one thing to say "right boys that's enough xbox now, go out to play", and completely different when you specifically say that no one is to go into the house while I'm out, especially after they've watched me locking the front door.
I didn't back down during the conversation with the gran, stuck to my guns, and certainly didn't apologise. I also didn't mention his past misdemeanours, but wish I had.
So what do others think? Would you have done the same? Would there have been a better way to deal with the situation? Would you have told the grandmother the full truth about her little angel?
Sorry for the lengthy ramble.