To not like it when people ask me to remind them to do things?

[KiKiFrance]

It really grates on me.

DH is always asking me to remind him to do things. As if I don't have enough stuff of my own to remember! I have just said to him this morning when he asked me to remind him to do something later "I will probably forget too, why don't you put a reminder on your phone?". He was most put out!

I also used to have a friend that I stopped bothering with in the end because each and every time we made plans she'd say "Remind me, or I'll forget", even when she suggested the plans in the first place AND she had a massive diary that she used to take everywhere and write everything else in.

Surely it's just lazy behaviour to expect others to remind you of everything you need to to?

Only possible answer - 'please DO NOT rely on me for that' followed by a sweet smile. Just because they say it doesn't mean you have to do it!

Please will you remind me to take Ds1 to the doctors later, the appointment is at 3-25.

Thanks

:o

I meant to say too in my OP that someone on my FB friends list actually asks in statuses for people to remind her to do things.

Weird

Erm, no, LuckySaint

I think some people find just by telling someone else it gets fixed in their memories. However my STM is shocking so I should never be replied upon, therefore YANBU.

I have a terrible memory for things I need to do but that's why I have a phone with lots of of alarm options - it's not the responsibility of someone else to remember my stuff.

YANBU it's so child-like! My DH does it. I ask him to do a job and it's all "Remind me later...write me a list"

Write your own bastard list DH!

My husband does this a goldfish probably has a better memory than I do I tell him I qm not promising anything and if I actually do remember it is a bonus, I think folk are just wanting reassurance to remember x y z

I suppose it depends whether he actually means it. I will often say "oh remind me on to do x will you", when I just mean I need to do x later. If they remind me, great, if not, no problem. If it's really important I'll set a reminder or do it there and then before I forget. If he's going to give you grief for not reminding him, then yes, YANBU.

I hate it when DH actually asks me to do it- look up a train time, or check such and such. His phone is usually within reach, just because I have mine in my hand doesn't mean I should do it!

My dh does this. I tell him, 'remember it yourself'. I've enough shit to remember, never mind his. I already think for me and dds (3 people), and not wasting my brain power for a grown man of 42.

Write your own bastard list

DH generally does have a good memory; he remembered he was meeting a friend this morning and is perfectly good at remembering things he wants to remember. He just thinks he can hijack my memory for mundane tasks

My husband will say check times or look at when he is sitting with a bloody ipad

ALittle that is right y'know - if someone says "Oh BTW, remind me to de-flea the cat" they can remember the conversation,

My DH will say "Oh, remind me to get recycle bags" in the hope that I'll say "Don't worry, I'll get them"

I was to remind dh to lift some mantool before we went on holiday he remembered mantool but said just as well I remembered. oh ok dear I had nothing else to do before we left I am awe of your remembering skillsarse

My colleague often asks me to remind him to do something so I either remind him straight away or tell him to remind me to remind him......either way it's very annoying to him and he asks me less and less now :)

Hmm.. Hard to call. I have ADHD, so I'll say it from that perspective.

Sometimes if things are out of site out of mind, they stay out of mind for forever. So if something needs to get done and it's not at the top of my mind, I'll forget about it. Important and immediate tasks will usually get done, but small "trivial" mundane tasks will go unfinished and unstarted. Example per my day: Baby will always be tended to, housework and other tasks may or may not be touched.

But that said, it's not really anyone's job to nanny me about. I am an adult, and it's ultimately on me to figure out how to get things done. As long as they aren't using you to skirt responsibility for forgetting. "Well, you didn't remind me, so...".

A quick reminder if you're there and remember can be incredibly helpful and put the task at the front of my mind again. It's not really any skin off your back to take 2 seconds and say "Don't forget tomorrow!" if you're there and talking is it? No need to go out of your way for it though, they can get their own shit sorted.

Just don't do the sanctimonious refusal for the sake of it, and then get upset when they forget. That's an annoying attitude. Sometimes it's just nice to be nice to your friends.

I am nice to my friends, ADHD :)

As I said in my OP, my ex friend had a diary she used to write everything in.......

"My colleague often asks me to remind him to do something so I either remind him straight away or tell him to remind me to remind him..."

Ha! That's what I do as well Betty

It bugs me if I'm asked to reminds someone of something because they "have a bad memory". I can also be distracted and forget things, I know this, which is why I have a diary and write things in that, or write a to do list on my scrap pad. Get organised you useless buggers

My DP does it and I just remind him immediately then he gives up. So he'll say 'Remind me to call x' and I'll immediately say, 'DP, call x'. No doubt annoying but I've done my job and passed the responsibility back!