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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have left

35 replies

Topsyturvey09 · 07/08/2014 21:39

Posted a bit on here before about situation with DH. Had a huge row where he accused me of not doing enough to sort out my epilepsy and make my MS better so I have walked out to parents with DS.
He basically said he can cope with the MS but unless my seizures stop then that is it for us. I can't live with this knowing that my seizures may never get better so I have gone.
Feel like the world has ended :(

OP posts:
LuisSuarezTeeth · 07/08/2014 21:42

Oh gosh I'm not familiar with your posts Topsy but here's a hand to hold x

LuisSuarezTeeth · 07/08/2014 21:44

What does he think you can do about your seizures?

Original poster
Topsyturvey09 · 07/08/2014 21:45

Apparently according to him he has done his bit and I should be grateful as no one else would take me.
He is now saying he will get Ds off my easily be because of my disabilities. He hard thing is I think he may be right

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kazza446 · 07/08/2014 21:45

Is he for real???

ShiftyFades · 07/08/2014 21:46

What does he expect you to do exactly? Blush
I'm so sorry x

HeySoulSister · 07/08/2014 21:46

Are you on medication? How old is your ds?

Original poster
Topsyturvey09 · 07/08/2014 21:47

Basically have have Ben uncontrolled for 10 years, seen every specialist going but I could still do more if I wanted. But he won't say what this is when I ask him what else I could be doing
He was not always such a knob it's only since Ds was born. He also married me knowing all this

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LuisSuarezTeeth · 07/08/2014 21:47

Can you link to your other threads? Would be easier for you than going through it all again. Thanks

ShyGirl1001 · 07/08/2014 21:48

What??? Because you can turn off epilepsy with a switch Hmm

You are NBU. Really hope he gets some sense in his head soon.

WallyBantersJunkBox · 07/08/2014 21:49

So sorry. Brew

In sickness and in health eh? Sad

Original poster
Topsyturvey09 · 07/08/2014 21:49

DS is 13 months, I am on medication but does not seem to work. I have tried loads.
He seems to resent spending time with DS when I have seizures and need to rest. He always takes him to his mums ( and no doubt they have a good bitch about me when he is there)

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BirdhouseInYourSoul · 07/08/2014 21:49

I'm sorry you're having to put up with this twat alongside your health issues.

In what way does he think you aren't dealing with your conditions? Do you have support in place?

Try not to worry yourself about your DS. Having a disability doesn't mean you're an unfit parent.

PinkyHasNoEars · 07/08/2014 21:49

What makes you think he is right? He sounds anything but right (or reasonable!) I understand that this is something he is using to threaten you with, but have you had advice (from someone who knows the law) that confirms what he says?

This sounds so difficult, I'm thinking of you.

Original poster
Topsyturvey09 · 07/08/2014 21:50

Will try and link to other threads

OP posts:
Original poster
Topsyturvey09 · 07/08/2014 21:52

I think I cope quite well, I manage to work part time in a good job and I am always the one up with DS in the night.
I have not taken legal advice I think that is the next step, the thing is I can afford to keep the house on but he can't. My parents have me some money six months ago but knowin what I am going through with Dh they have kept it in their name

OP posts:
LuisSuarezTeeth · 07/08/2014 21:54

Thank you topsy

Original poster
Topsyturvey09 · 07/08/2014 21:56

Not managing to link
Basing is is about him being a dick walking out in a huff when I have seizures and him throwing things around the room in temper
Also his parents saying he should leave me and I am too much of a drain
That's it in a nutshell

OP posts:
PinkyHasNoEars · 07/08/2014 21:58

I'm really glad you have good support from your parents. Definitely legal advice as the next step.

Your ExP is an absolute arsehole. I'm raging on your behalf.

Original poster
Topsyturvey09 · 07/08/2014 21:58

Anyway in a lot of pain at the mo so off to take some pain meds and sleep. Will come back on in the morning. Thanks for advice and support ladies. It helps that others thing he is being a dick as well as me

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ShyGirl1001 · 07/08/2014 22:04

Just a thought, but have you ever tried getting some extra support in this, or has it gone beyond that point? Just wondering if he can't cope and needs to work through some stuff? (Totally not excusing his behaviour though)

DelGirl · 07/08/2014 22:05

Ive read some things on here but this beats most hands down. Unless there's something you're not telling us, I can't imagine what, then you know you're better off without him. Good luck.

Mim78 · 07/08/2014 22:29

Yanbu

The thing on holiday where you had to go out was one of the worst things I've read on here.

Original poster
Topsyturvey09 · 08/08/2014 02:17

just woke up in pain and cant sleep. have cut and pasted from the holiday post :-
We have come to stay with a friend in Wales, me hunny and DS.
I am in agony as just come of the depo shot as it was not agreeing with me and having a really bad period passing clots etc.
I have said to DH to go out with friend and DS for a few hours while I take some strong painkillers that knock me out for a bit and I will see how I am then
DH has just had a sulk saying we have come away togther so we go out togther. Otherwise he will stay in with DS who is screaming (he is one) his head off as he is board (really small flat) and wants to get out
So my options are- to go out and by in agony or stay here take painkillers but listen to DS screaming all afternoon.
Do I tell DH to grow up and go out with DS and friend (mutual friend)
Also when I did drag myself out when we finally got back in I said I was going for a lie down and he just sulked and sulked all night

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Original poster
Topsyturvey09 · 08/08/2014 02:23

I did not add what happened on holiday the day after
DH announced he was tired and staying in for the afternoon while I went out with DS and friend :(
Another thing he does is have a sulk when I go to bed early, apparently I am supposed to watch him playing on the I pad or watching sport all evening.

We where meant to be cleaning the house the other day so DS went to his parents. I had a fit so had to sleep and he spent the entire morning not lifting a finger on the sofa watching sport. I then came to and cleaned the house myself while he watched (still sulking). Basically if I have a seizure and have to rest he does nothing in protest.

He really did used to be lovely up untill DS birth then it all changed.

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Original poster
Topsyturvey09 · 08/08/2014 02:26

I wish there was some reason for his behaviour DelGirl but there isn't :( he has just got fed up of having a wife with a disability.
I don't think I will ever trust a bloke again.

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