To be utterly terrified at having to give birth again.

[Keepontrudging]

It's a good 4 and a half months away... But it has suddenly overwhelmed my thoughts. I had a traumatic labour with my first child and fear the same will happen again. The midwife has assured me it is unlikely and explained I haemorraged due to an induction (more than likely) and dd got distressed due to the induction (more than likely) so I have agreed on a c section as opposed to another induction. My fear is I will go into labour naturally and it will be awful again and I will haemorrage again and none of it was actually to do with the induction. Maybe I just don't labour well...:/
Any reassurance / thoughts would really help?

As you have a history the birth will be more closely monitored.

If you can't face it, then push for a planned c-section before your due date.

Most people say the second labour is much easier, your body has more idea of what's going on.

I also found birth v traumatic. I can only suggest that you a) believe things will work out better and b) plan what you would do differently if you go into labour naturally - for me it would be having an epidural much earlier.

Can I also suggest you contact your local parent-infant-project or similar in your area? They are trained counsellors and I think talking through things may help you feel more positive. No one can make you forget last time's events but counseling may help you to stop referring back to it.

I hear psychologically, the 2nd birth is worse because you know what to expect where as before it was new. But physically, you're body has done it before.

Just remember that you are surrounded by medical professionals. If something does go wrong, you're in good and competent hands, just like last time.

I understand.

I'm not pregnant, but if I have a second child I'll insist on a section (had a third degree tear last time). I would be terrified of going into labour too.

But even if you arrive at the hospital in labour, unless you're fully dialated you can still proceed with a section... I think? Scheduling is also key, which us why elective sections tend to be scheduled for 38-39 weeks.

I do sympathise, I had a huge bleed (3000ml) after an induced (long) labour with DD but honestly my second couldn't have been more different.

I was still induced, but they were super cautious and aware due to the previous birth I had, I had a line in and syntocin all ready to go, think it stimulates the uterus to contract to minimise PPH?

He was huge! But out safely and quickly and I only lost 500ml

Such a lovely experience in comparison and I got to enjoy newborn cuddles / feeding straight away.

I know it is hard to believe after a traumatic experience but every labour and birth can be very different

Wishing you all the best x

I had a very traumatic birth with DD1 and developed PTSD. What really helped me was going to a birth debrief session offered at the hospital I gave birth at. It was called 'Birth Stories', ask your midwife if your hospital do anything similar.

Like you, when I was pregnant either DD2 all the feelings of extreme stress came flooding back and I was convinced I could not give birth again. I was under the care of a consultant at the hospital who said I would be allowed a C Section if I wanted - this helped me as although it was not what I wanted it was good to know the option was there if I really felt I could not go through with the birth. I also had CBT - the NHS fast track you if you're pregnant and the a anxiety is about the birth. I also had talking therapy and attended another birth stories session.

I found the entire pregnancy stressful and could not wait for it to be over, and although DD2's birth was fairly stressful (merconium in waters and she needed ressusitation when she was born) I felt more in control and in a way found the birth 'healing' and was able to move on from DD1's birth.

Sending you lots of and feel free to PM me if you want to talk more, I know what you're going through and I promise you that you can do it! x

May also be worth doing antenatal classes for second time parents? I did an NCT refresher course and although I did not learn much because the teacher was crap it was great talking through my birth and sharing hopes and fears with others in the same situation.

I had a horrendous PPH after my second birth, lost 2.2 litres, emergency surgery, blood transfusion. What helped was a meeting with a consultant to come up with a plan of action - early transfer to hospital as I labour quickly, I/v catheter in place and cross matched blood on standby, hands off/active labour and delivery but in consultant led unit, managed third stage. I felt reassured that my concerns were addressed and that the risks could be managed, and that they were smaller than I'd thought - previous bleed increases your risk x3, but background risk is 5-8% so you are looking at 75% chance of it not recurring. Induction and Csection both significantly increase risk of PPH so natural vaginal delivery may be a much better option - discuss with a consultant. Subsequent vaginal deliveries almost always easier....
3rd birth went v well, only lost 150ml blood, very quick labour.
Your fears are natural, you need to talk to someone who listens, makes a plan you are happy with and inspires confidence.

My Mum had a 56 hour, awful labour with my sister, wrong position corrected several times, forceps, cut, a lot of stitches etc etc. I was born (second child) in under an hour, from start to finish.

Try Daisy birthing class?

No help, but this is the reason I only have one child. One of my midwives who is also a client commented two and half years later that if she'd been through what I ad she would have another child either.

You are definitely not BU. My first baby was induced and I too haemorrhaged after a particularly difficult induction, so when number two was on the way I was terrified of going through the same thing again.
When I was told she also needed to be induced (I had cholastasis so medically advised) I completely and utterly freaked out. The delivery itself went much more smoothly though, and in a considerably shorter time, with no complications at all.
By the time I had my third baby, labour progressed so quickly once it started that it was too late for the epidural I really wanted by the time I got to hospital because she was nearly out.
Take heart that while it won't be painless (if only!) it is much more likely to be easier for you second time around. Good luck!

Do you mean you've agreed to a c-section if you go over and need to be induced or you've agreed to a c-section for this birth generally? I had a c-section booked and my waters broke and I started having contractions but they just did me as an emergency (as in not on the planned date/time, there were no emergency factors) and it was brilliant. If you're doing it instead of being induced and you're worried maybe ask them about having an elective section which will be done before your due date and then if you go into labour beforehand they'll do it when you come in. If you'd prefer to have a natural birth speak to your midwife and tell her you are still frightened, they may be able to arrange extra help for you.

Thanks all. I am speaking to the consultant and requesting a c section if I go over overdue so far it need to be induced. Basically I will try a natural birth if I am able to but if not , c section it is (in place of an induction)

But oh god the fear!